I tested this morning for the first time and zip. Zero. Not the merest hint of a line 🤬😭 Not unexpected but you allow yourself to hope a bit, don't you? OTD is tomorrow but I'll eat my hat if anything changes, given that a) it's stark white, b) today is 10dp5dt and c) I've had some spotting since Sunday. I really hate this 💔 This was the second transfer and third embryo (put 2 back the first time). So 3 good embryos haven't implanted properly (or at all). Except maybe they AREN'T good? Maybe they're all abnormal, chromosomally. My lining is always great but maybe my body is just rejecting these embies??Maybe we just haven't done enough transfers to beat the odds. So many 'maybes'. We have one more cycle in our package but I just feel like our consultant won't want to change much (maybe we can't change much!) and he'll have given up on us. Shout out to all the other broken-hearted ladies and gents out there this week 💜 xx
Not our time... again 😔: I tested this... - Fertility Network UK
Not our time... again 😔
So sorry 💔
If I were you, I’d speak to my consultant about why he/she thinks it hasn’t worked and what they could do differently next time to help improve the chances of success? What further investigations could you explore?
With each transfer, I’ve pushed to do something different or explore a new test which has helped me mentally. When my third (double) transfer ended in a CP, we made the decision to move clinics as other than genetic testing and a hysteroscopy, the clinic we were with weren’t suggesting to change it up enough. So we’ve moved to a new clinic that was willing to explore further tests and work with us to help us understand why 4 seemingly perfect looking embryos weren’t sticking.
Take all the time you need to grieve and heal this process also. Sending lots of strength 💗
Thank you for your kind words. I'll definitely ask our consultant what we can change. I guess sometimes they just say 'it's a numbers game' and we just have to keep trying. This wasn't a good cycle, numbers-wise - I had a lot fewer follicles than last cycle, but that was 18 months ago. So it's hard to know if my fertility is just on its last legs; or if it was a cr&p cycle and going again with the same protocol will give better results like it did 18 months ago (we kept the same one this time); or if we need to shake up the protocol and do higher doses (was on 225 of meriofert). The thing that always drives me crazy is there is so much trial and error but unless you have like 50k to sink into this, most people can't afford a couple of cycles to test one thing, a couple more to see if x helped, another one to try mixing in y. I guess if you have NHS cycles and then go private you have a better shot of spotting what helps... The things we'll definitely ask are: is it worth trying a higher dose of stims (what results do you get with people my age and amh by doing that?); I want to increase progesterone, as even though it was much later this time, I'm still starting to spot too early; should I take DHEA and how much (I did this when trying naturally but sent my skin crazy so gave it up... plus wasn't under any clinic care so was worried taking it would make things worse). Also wondering about NK tests, but not sure how long that takes to test and I;m so worried time isn't on my side. xx
I was constantly told it’s a numbers game, which it is and I understand that but at the same time I need to feel like I’m moving forward and being told I was having bad luck wasn’t helping my mental state or fight to keep going. I have a low AMH for someone of my age, and with my first cycle I was on long protocol. I got 7 eggs and all fertilised which I know is amazing, but sadly none have taken. My new cycle which I’ve just gone through (Saturday), I changed to a short protocol and was on a much higher dose of Stims (sometimes 600iu Meriofert depending on my blood result each day). I got 9 eggs, 8 mature which I’m pleased with. So protocol wise I can’t say it’s made a huge difference to my eggs but i felt good that I was trying something new.
I also pushed to explore immunology testing as everything else looks okay, but I’ve always had issues with my tummy and have thyroid issues so I felt it was worth exploring it as a test even though it’s controversial in the field of fertility. My results came back within two weeks and identified that I have elevated NK cells and elevated anti-TG antibodies. Both need treating with steroids which I’m taking with this cycle.
I haven’t had my transfer yet so I don’t know if any of this will work for us but mentally I feel like I’ve done all I can to get this far and it’s given me new hope as well. Something we all need on this journey.
Pushing for your progesterone to be checked throughout treatment post transfer I think is a sensible idea as well so they can see whether they need to increase it. I believe we have to be our own advocates and sometimes it requires us to be a little pushy!
Write down all the questions you have and run through them with your doctor. And take care of yourself, it’s a rollercoaster of a journey for sure!
Wishing you all the luck xxx
Good morning. Had exactly the same results as you this morning. 🥲 OTD blood test tomorrow.
This was my third transfer.... have 1 frozen left. Let’s see what the Dr says tomorrow and get ready for the final transfer.
Hoping we both beat the odds soon.
Thinking of you! 😘
Oh noooo. I'm so sorry. It's just $**t isn't it. I would just love so much to actually see a positive test that's ours. Just once in my life! 😂Glad you have 1 frozen embie left - let me know if your consultant has any good advice! 😘 Again, sorry this wasn't your time either xx
Aw hun, so sorry to hear this. Hope you're doing as good as you can be 🌹❤️
I think it's really hard because although we have seemingly "perfect" embryos there are so many other factors at play. After our 3rd failed transfer we decided we wanted some concrete testing so went for ERA (showed I needed a full extra 24 hours of progesterone before transfer). I also had my immunology tested which showed high levels of NK cells and my immune system in general. We also did another cycle to bank some embryos then PGS tested those, so we're now in the best possible position for our next transfer.
This transfer I'll have steroids, intralipids, extra 24 hours of progesterone and a genetically correct embryo so even if this doesn't work I know we've given it our best shot. I hate the idea of transferring again without changing anything up.
Of course everyone is different and extra testing isn't for everybody - but it might be worth talking it through with your consultant just so you have all the options
Sending lots of love xxx
Hi Millbanks. Thank you so much for your reply. I have been wondering about these tests... no idea if my clinic supports NK testing or ERA tests etc (I guess some of these things are still seen a controversial, seems some consultants highly advocate for them and others believe there isn't good evidence they have an impact/ see them as too experimental?). Even if my clinic doesn't think they're worthwhile, of course, I think I could still get them done elsewhere? The NK one in particular is something I've been thinking about. Can I ask how you got this done (how long it took to organise and get results, and if not too cheeky, how much it cost?). I'm a bit torn... I'm 40 and my AMH is low, so it's weighing up how much more my fertility will dip if I do these tests (but might find a problem we could address) vs how likely we are to have better luck by changing a few things, protocol-wise and getting back to it quickly. So hard 😭
It is so hard isn't it - my consultant doesn't believe in the uterine NK cell biopsy and advised me not to bother - but she was an advocate for the blood immunology testing. The reason I wanted to have these done is that my mum has an auto-immune disease (psoriasis) and I listened to a podcast that said familial auto-immune can be a marker that it could be a red flag for you too. So based on that we tested and my NK cells are extremely high in the blood. I think as you say, the evidence is sketchy to say that this is definitively the reason that our transfers haven't worked - but I have seen a lot of people on this forum having success after using intralipids and steroids to treat high immune systems.
My testing was done the same day that we talked about it (it's 8 tubes of blood taken there and then) took 3 weeks to come back and for the whole panel was £1000 - eeeeeek not cheap - but for me 100% worth it.
We also did PGS testing, and out of our 9 embryos, 1 didn't re-expand so wasn't tested, and from the 8 that were, 6 of them were normal - so for me - I feel like it's not an embryo issue, but more likely a immune one. But ultimately we'll never truly know (if we are successful) as we're trying all these things at once. I'm 38 BTW... xxxx
Wow, those are amazing embie numbers Millbanks! I think if I had that kind of number of embryos we'd definitely try to scrape together the funds for PGS. I've never had more than two 5 day blasts so we decided not to go for PGS as very likely we won't have anything to transfer at all, and I just find that too hard😔 . But thank you so much for sharing your NK experience - I know so little about this, honestly didn't realise you could test through just blood! It IS quite a lot of money, but then, what isn't in this game 😂 I'd really be keen to do that, will talk to my husband and consultant about it. Sounds like you're definitely covering all bases xx
Aww thank you - as I say I don't think PGS is for everyone, but as we always manage to get a few embryos, we wanted to make sure that we are only transferring genetically correct ones, otherwise we'd be just throwing away tonnes of money and emotion going through transfer after transfer. We did bank embryos to test and in all seriousness I was expecting 1 or 2 from the 8, so it was a huge shock to have so many. I completely understand not wanting to test 1 or 2 - the thought of having to start from scratch again is just heartbreaking.I didn't realise you could blood test for NK cells either until I started reading in to it more. And as you say, what isn't expensive here!! The good news is that the steroid treatment for NK cells is CHEAP!! I think it was £17 for 140 prednisolone tablets....
I would certainly talk it through and see how you get on. Wishing you lots of luck xxx
Sending love and so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Xx
So sorry you didn’t get the BFP you were hoping for. It’s so hard… and I have felt the same as you after having transferred so many lovely looking embryos myself. Don’t give up - although saying that I nearly did after 9 transfers but we got there in the end. Thinking of you both xx
Thanks Dogmum. Wow, 9 transfers 😱 You're amazing, and so glad it worked out for you, you definitely deserve it xx
Keep you chin up - the process batters you at times. Sending you love - you can do this xx
I just read your profile story and it gives me masses of hope! I'm just starting transfer number 6 (this time with PGS normal embryo and immune treatment) so it's reassuring to see that you kept on going! Congratulations xx
I’ll be the first to admit I’ve considered giving up at times… but we just kept chipping away at it and tweaking things were we could. So glad it’s given you hope as sometimes that’s what we need to spur us on xx wishing you lots of luck with your transfer - keeping everything crossed for you xx
I bet! It’s so hard, but it’s just great to see stories of people who really have just plugged away at it and it worked eventually. Did you try steroids or anything else? Xx
🤞🏻☺️ the NHS cycles were short protocol (they wouldn’t do anything else) the latest three cycles were long protocol. Our consultant tried a variety of things so we’ve had intralipids, then steroids (dexamethasone) alone and then more recently the steroids combined with injections of Humira which is an immune suppressant. Oh and clexane blood thinners as well. Xx
I’m so sorry. Your comment about allowing yourself to hope a bit is 100% true and why it hurts so damn bad.
I spoke to my councillor about it and she said of course we hope to get pregnant, that is why we are doing IVF. We don’t do it with the hope of failure. If you weren’t hoping to see a positive, there would be a problem. The unfortunate part of this is that every time we see a negative our heart breaks.
Don’t give up hope. You are so strong to get through this repeatedly.
Xx
I’m sorry darling! I have no advise but just sending you lots of love 💖
I’m so so so sorry to read this, I’ve been rooting for you this whole time because our cycles were running so close together. I wish I could say something that would make it easier 😢 xx
Thank you 😘 Sadly it's the way it goes... I guess we all go into this knowing for most women it's more likely to fail than succeed 💔 But it hurts like hell when it doesn't work. I'm hoping you get a much better outcome on Friday! Nearly there 👍💪 xx
I’ve got full blown AF today. I knew it was coming. I was trying so hard not to test early and in the end it seems as though I didn’t even need to anyway. Someone’s just helpfully asked at work if I was planning on smiling today too. I feel so sad 😭 x
Oh sweetheart, that's awful. It's just so hard. I was actually crying on two of my (thankfully camera-off) calls on Tuesday, but had a really tough one that I had to lead, cameras on, on a difficult topic, right at the end of the day: and having to 'perform' when nobody knows you're grieving (because that is exactly what it is) is so hard. I can't imagine how tough it is being in your workplace 😪 I don't want to give you false hope but MAYBE you might still get there tomorrow? You won't know until that test. I did the usual googling 'any chance of a late-stage BFP after bleeding' which even as I wrote it made me just think wake up woman, have a word with yourself! 😆 But it's hard to let that last hope die away... sending you all the virtual hugs xx
I left work early, I couldn’t cope with it. I found an empty room where I went and had a massive cry then upped and left. That particular site was a 3hr drive away from home so I’ve spent six hours today crying driving. The men working on the roadworks I got stuck in were looking at me so strangely. I think I’ll test when I get home and again in the morning. My best friend is coming round tonight and he has no idea, so hopefully having to put a front on will take my mind off of it and I can stay under my duvet feeling sorry for myself tomorrow.
One thing that never fails to amaze me though is how we all keep going. I’ll always be in awe of women that do this x
I've done that... driving I'm tears from the sadness and disappointment of it all ☹ And then seeing the pedestrians looking at you in confusion! Really glad you have some plans for tonight. And tomorrow, if it isn't happening, you can just have a day to do some grieving and take care of yourself xx
Really sorry to see this post. Sorry no advice from me but sending big hugs xx
Thank you x
Aw so sorry to hear this. Praying for comfort for you xx 😪
2ww begins again... Third time lucky? 
5th time lucky???? is there such a phrase???
Back again :) 
Time to love myself again
