Egg Factor

[Bluelady-sing]

This week the lady was 44 and needed an egg donor

[leo1980]

Hi. What is the egg factor?

[Bluelady-sing in reply to leo1980]

A cbs documentary about fertility look it up it airs on sun 5pm channel 66

[FluffyPink]

Hello, are you saying that you turned 44 this week? If so, yes, egg donor is now your best (possibly only) option. I am 44 also. I have good AMH but egg quality is usually poor by this age, so we’ve decided that we need an egg donor now. We’ve had 5 failed cycles with my eggs already.

[Bluelady-sing in reply to FluffyPink]

I wish I had known all of this before

[Bluelady-sing in reply to Bluelady-sing]

The trouble is how do you afford treatment at younger age I.e 28

[FluffyPink in reply to Bluelady-sing]

I know. It’s very difficult. I couldn’t have afforded to freeze my eggs when I was younger (I don’t remember anyone talking about it when I was in my 20s/early 30s so I don’t know if the science was that advanced then!)

It’s not impossible to conceive with your own eggs at 44 but just unlikely. Some people even conceive naturally right up to late forties, but this is very rare. I might have some eggs that are still good quality but it could take lots more cycles to find them (not an option!)

On a positive note, my doctor has told me that she can “get me pregnant” (her words!) using donor eggs and sperm until a year after I start menopause. That gives me hope that if we try donor eggs we have a chance.

Sorry if this has upset you. I think it’s best sometimes to know where you stand so you can make a plan. I would recommend having a few sessions of fertility counselling to help you come to terms with this. It can be a shock. Fertility counselling is mandatory at my clinic before you can use donor eggs/sperm in any case. xx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to FluffyPink]

I’m with you 💔 just failed first ivf I’m 44 looking into egg donor abroad 🤷🏽‍♀️

[FluffyPink in reply to Ladycoco20]

So sorry to hear this. It’s really lonely. Good for you opting to move to donor. I wish we had moved to donor eggs a long time ago. Male factor made it harder to figure this out. xx

[Bluelady-sing in reply to FluffyPink]

Please watch cbs channel 66 sun 5pm

[Ladycoco20 in reply to FluffyPink]

Sorry for your painful journey 😢

I’m lonely & I feel like a failure.

Are you in a cycle now ? X

[FluffyPink in reply to Ladycoco20]

You are definitely not a failure although I know that feeling! None of this is your fault. We wouldn’t criticise someone for having any other medical condition , yet that’s what it sometimes feels like with infertility. Covid also makes everything more isolating.

The way I look at it, our journey in life lead us to this point. There is a lot I have to be thankful for and have experienced in my life that I would have missed out on if I had children at a younger age. I was lucky enough to meet someone in my forties who is v supportive and with whom I can share this journey. I know some people are making this journey on their own, however.

We have stopped focusing on genetics and now our goal is a “take home baby” (as they call it in IVF world!) We are currently waiting for donor eggs from a clinic abroad. Have been told it will be Dec/Jan by the time we can try a transfer. Everything slowed down due to Covid!

Thinking of you & hope you can allow yourself time and space to grieve for the loss of this cycle. xx

[Bluelady-sing in reply to FluffyPink]

Do you know anything about the egg donor

[FluffyPink in reply to Bluelady-sing]

You get a one-page summary of physical characteristics, ethnicity, academic qualifications, interests etc. Most important is donor age (younger the better, non-smoker and proven fertility). You get a choice of two donors at my clinic. The clinic tries to match you based on your preferences. You can ask for another donor if you are not happy with those chosen.

[Ladycoco20 in reply to FluffyPink]

It’s exhausting but we are trying to look for plan b 🙏🏽

We have thought about clinic abroad. Hoping you can get going soon . Would Mind me asking what clinic unit with ? Really want to use the next few months to research. I’m frightened I’ll not bond with the baby 🤦🏽‍♀️ My head is playing games today 😢

[FluffyPink in reply to Ladycoco20]

Thanks. I will PM you. xx

[FluffyPink in reply to Ladycoco20]

This organisation is great. Lots of uplifting stories on their website:

dcnetwork.org/

[Bluelady-sing in reply to FluffyPink]

Do you get a pic of how they look

[FluffyPink in reply to Bluelady-sing]

No, in order to respect their privacy. But you get a description of the appearance.

You get a baby photo of the sperm donor. A lot less details with egg donor overall as there aren’t many to choose from (the process of donating sperm is much easier than donating eggs, so there are more donors, I suppose).

[Bluelady-sing in reply to Ladycoco20]

Of course you will it's a baby!! I have pcos do it was always a possibility I would end up this way realistically having a baby because you want the job. Is different from having a baby just in spite of a failing relationship .

A 21 year old might not be a settled position. It's the child that were have all unconsciously thought of.

We have waited to able to be parent that's the difference we are all prepared for the job of being a mum

Not 21 year olds can