I am 1dp5dt from my first IVF cycle. I have no known fertility issues (I am in a same-sex relationship so IVF was inevitable for us) and am 32 years old.
I have found this cycle to be a roller coaster ride - I didn't realise that the injections would be the easy part! The waiting for phone calls, and now the 2WW, have been unbearable.
I had 12 eggs collected which I was thrilled with. When we got the call the next day, they told us that only 3 had fertilised which seemed like a massive drop. Our day 3 update was that the 3 fertilised embryos were still developing well, but 1 had fragmented slightly. We were also told that 2 more had fertilised late which was fantastic news at the time.
Fast forward to transfer day and we were told that we had one good blastocyst to transfer and it looked very promising. So we had the transfer and felt lucky to have reached that stage and had 'our shot'. We were also told that one of the other embryos looked like it could form a blastocyst by day 6 (today), so they would keep an eye on it and let us know.
Today we received the call that, although it had developed into a blastocyst, it hadn't developed some of the necessary membrane (I think that's what they said - or something similar), so it would not be suitable for freezing. So that was it, nothing to freeze.
I know I am really lucky to have a good quality blastocyst on board, but I feel so deflated by the IVF process. I have a couple of friends who have been through it and it worked first time for them, and they also managed to have 5 blastocysts to freeze on top of it. I appreciate that I need to focus on the blastocyst that I have had transferred, but I almost want to assume the worst because it seems far too good to be true that it will work. I never anticipated having to start a cycle again from scratch; it just seemed far more common to have some 'in the freezer' ready to try again.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so, how did you cope? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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anz07
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The outcome of my first and second IVF ICSI short protocol rounds last year were very similar - 14 eggs collected on each round - less than 30% fertilised and a total of 4 average blastocysts (so 2 on each cycle) - 3 transfers - 2 BFN and 1 Ruptured ectopic
My clinic said it was an indication my egg quality is poor. So I changed to natural modified IVF this year - focussing on much fewer eggs - total of 9 eggs 100% fertilised and 4 top quality blastocysts - I’m currently nearly 6 weeks pregnant from a double transfer of two blastocysts collected from January where I only got 2 eggs. So for me quality over quantity was the most important change of mindset for me
Do you know what grade of blastocyst you had transferred?
First of all thank you for your message, I found it really interesting/helpful.
Would you mind if ask, how many rounds of natural modified IVF did it take you to achieve your 4 top quality blastocysts? (I'm basically figuring out what I can afford and what to do after my next round).
I did a 3 cycle package - which included 3 lots of ICSI, all drugs, freezing, storage, 1 fresh transfer (although I ended up using 2 frozen embryos) was £13.5k - I took a 5 year loan out for £275 a month (my childcare bill before DD started school was £800 a month so we could afford to do this once she went to school as I know people say “I can’t afford IVF” but IVF to me is much cheaper than childcare or the cost of losing a salary to be a stay at home parent)
2 cycles were brilliant and that’s when I got my 4 top quality blastocysts - I did the cycles back to back with no break. Then had to stop due to covid and did my 3rd and final round in June - my medication was tweaked as my lining tends to get too thick on tamoxifen which you take as pure natural modified and bang my egg quality was back to rubbish and didn’t get any blastocysts. So for me my best quality was the following
Tamoxifen tablets daily from cycle day 3
150ml Bemfola every OTHER day
No down reg
Egg collection cycle day 12 so whole thing over in 9 Daya
I just wanted to reply as I feel like I really relate to some of your experience. I've had two rounds of IVF and both times I got what I thought was plenty of eggs (11 and 15) but only a small number of blastocysts (one good quality 1st time round, one good quality plus two poor but use-able 2nd time). I'm also not in a relationship with a man so IVF (or IUI) is the only way! I think the main difference though is that I'm older (40).
There have been times when I've felt pretty devastated by it all to be honest, the whole process is so draining (physically and emotionally), and then to only end up with a small number of blastocysts is so so hard. I'm really sorry you're having to go through that too.
I don't want to sound like I'm painting a rosy glow on an incredibly difficult situation, but I did also want to say that from what I understand at 32 you've got a really good chance that your blastocyst will be genetically healthy and able to make a beautiful baby, so please don't give up.
I also wondered, and maybe this is a silly question, but if fertilization is an issue might there perhaps be a difficulty with the sperm? Sometimes I think clinics are too quick to blame our poor little eggs (although that said mine are pretty old by now!).
In terms of emotional coping I think I've landed on wanting to try and be hopeful, because (for me at least) being pessimistic/cautious (which was my first approach) didn't make the pain of not succeeding any less, so I feel like this time round (I'm starting again in just over 2 weeks) I'm going to try and enjoy the hope and the possibilities, and believe I will get there even if it takes time.
I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you, wishing you so much good luck.
I thought I would tag my comment to the back of yours. I also had to do this alone as when I started I was going solo, and now the man I am with has had a vasectomy, so either way trying naturally has not been an option.
I did 3 IUIs and then earlier this year an IVF. As far as we can tell my fertility has been fine - although I am now 41 which is not ideal.
But with the IVF earlier this year I had 10 eggs of which overnight only one fertilised. I was devastated, because like you anz07 I assumed because I have no known fertility issues that I would at least get a few blastocytes that I could freeze.
The lab technicians told me that overnight most of the sperm died, which indicates a problem with the donor sperm - which is the same sperm I have been using for the last 3 years.
I did transfer the one 3 day blasto but unfortunately didnt take. But I was advised to find different sperm - which finally I have managed to do as covid eases.
I really hope that this round works for you, fingers crossed for the embaby you have on board. But from my experience dont assume that the donor sperm you have is perfect and that the problem is your eggs.
(My donor sperm had resulted in live births apparently, but the consultant said that sometimes sperm and eggs just dont get on, which I guess could happen in a natural environment too)
My first IVF was similar. No mature blastocysts whatsoever, and like you couldn’t believe I’d have to start from scratch! You do hear so many stories of FET so it makes you feel like there’s even more wrong with you!
I changed to mild IVF and got 5 mature blastocysts in second cycle, so agree with IVFgotadream that focusing on quality rather than quantity suits some women better.
Same experience. Devastated for awhile and planning on the next round. Mind if I ask what is a mild/ natural IVF? I took 10-12days of GonalF 225IU, had 11 matured follicles, 8 eggs but only 2 are correctly fertilized and one 5 day blastocyst. BNF it was ...
We got 8 eggs the first time, 3 fertilised and 1 blastocyst that wasnt good enough to freeze. We had 1 of the other transferred at day 2 and was unsuccessful so i had a failed round and nothing to freeze.
Like you i was gutted and frustrated my body didnt do what it needed to.
Fast forward 4 months, a change in clinic and drug regime we got 19 eggs, 12 were mature, 9 fertilised and we ended up with 6 top quality blasts! I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant from this.
You have absolutely every chance this will work for you! A friend of mine only got 1 egg collected due to poor response, she had a successful cycle from that one egg and is due soon. It does only take one.
They say your first go is always a ‘trial run’ to see how you respond to medication and what happens with fertilisation / embryo development. Some people (i hope you’re one of them!) are so lucky and get pregnant, but those that dont, it isnt the end of the road.
Of course not! There were many changes i suppose so difficult to pinpoint what worked for me, but in a nutshell:
- Switched from pregnacare to Impryl for approx 3months before second cycle. I also took coq10.
- Tried DHEA for about a week but didnt suit me (had midcycle bleeding etc) so stopped that
- New clinic upped my stim dose. I was on short protocol both times due to polycystic ovaries. First cycle i was on 150iu menopur and started approx day 4 of cycle and second time i was on 225iu of menopur and started day 2 of cycle
- Hubby last ejaculated a few hours before trigger shot! This was super late considering they normally say between 2-5 days before giving sample at clinic, but i really believed it help get fresh excited sperm to fertilise all the eggs!
- I had a 5 day blastocyst transfer compared to a 2 day transfer on my first round
- I took all the 2 week wait off sick to allow myself to relax. I did all the old wives tales; drank pomegranite juice to thicken my lining, ate salty fries after transfer, ate pineapple core the few days after transfer, and sat with my feet up on the sofa with them resting on a hot water bottle.
- I had extra progesterone support, so was on 200mg utrogetran suppositories x3 daily and 1 lubion injection a day until i was 12 weeks.
I think thats it. I think culturing to blastocyst helped, and the clinic i was under offered ‘Care mapping’ where they were monitored via a camera 24hours a day, allowing the embryologist to select the best one that had developed exactly at the key points.
Hi. I am also in a homosexual partnership so the need for IVf. had the same scenario with you. But I was on my second try of IVF already. First try failed to implant so I bled even before the 2 week wait ended.
On my 2nd try I had 12 eggs, and on the day of transfer I only had one grade 3b embryo, same as my first cycle I just had one. Nothing to freeze. But just to give you hope, you just need one to get pregnant. I’m 39 years old so I guess your chances of success are higher.
My single embryo is now a healthy 5 month old baby girl.
Hi There, I have just finished my 4th cycle. We initially had 14 eggs, 8 mature but only 3 fertilised. We did not make it to Blastocyst on this occasion and had nothing to put back nor to freeze.
This whole process is hard and when I started, I actually thought it would work and we would end up with a baby - 4 years later, it’s still not the case.
It’s very hard and tests the strongest people but it does work for some and it’s that’s bit of hope that you need to hold onto- it could work for you.
I’ve had three rounds of IVF, all collecting around 12 eggs, half fertilised, and we ended up with 2 blastocysts the first round and then 1 for each of the other rounds. I have been absolutely devastated each time as I am 27 so thought I would have a much better response, and like you, i felt like everyone was getting so many to freeze... I dealt with it by having a very supportive partner, trying to remind myself “it only takes one”, and having optimism that the next round may have a different outcome. Give yourself time to be sad if it doesn’t work. In saying that, I’m currently 6 weeks with my last embryo, which was also the best quality one we’ve had.
Try remain positive! But I also found it helpful to start planning the next round in my head, so it doesn’t feel so shocking. All the best x
Im 41 now and despite them upping my STIM meds i had exactly the same number of eggs collected both times long protocol as unexplained fertility issues nothing appears to be wrong with me or husband.. So i feel it lies with my age the issue. 8 eggs all mature 6 fertilised 5 made it to blastocyst each time. on day of transfer we popped 2 back in. None of the others have been good enough to freeze this happened both times.
I read alot about FET from the states and wonder if the guidelines here are stricter as they seem to do FET as standard over there... Anyone know for sure?
Im trying to be hopeful. But the thought of having to go through it again is always there i was really dissapointed we didn't get any to freeze so totally feel what you are feeling. The limbo between grateful for what you got and dissapointed for what you didnt is tough.
Fingers crossed your 2 sticks and you have a happy ending. X
Hey I understand why you're feeling like this but think of it as a blessing....it only takes one....this may be it...fingers crossed.
Secondly when I did my first round i had long protocol with 14 eggs 12 fertilised 5 blastocysts...it still didn't work on all three attempts...it was daunting and very upsetting as no more left and the thought of having to start a brand new cycle was just horrible. However think of it this way...if it doesn't work you've got a brand new chance of improving quality and starting again....three months of solid focus on egg quality...consider investigating the donor sperm too though...
This 4th time round less numbers...9 eggs 6 fertilised 3 blastocysts...shorter protocol ...transferred one and now 22 weeks pregnant after 11 yrs of marriage.
If it doesn't work...we can all help you at that stage...plenty of things to do...just don't give up...have your time to cry and then focus on next round when you're ready.
For now....easier said than done but just try and relax and keep busy with cross stitch puzzle Netflix or a good book...
We had a very mixed bag of results for our 3 rounds.
1st round we got 10 eggs, but only 2 fertilised and had a 2dt. BFN and non to freeze
2nd round we got 8 eggs and 5 fertilised. 3dt this time, but still BFN and none to freeze.
3rd round we got 10 eggs and 6 fertilised. All 6 made it to day 5 and we had our first blastocyst transfer. BFP! And with some frozen too.
The 3rd round we threw everything possible at it. I had acupuncture, took lots of vitamins, used the embryo scope, AOA to help with blastocyst formation and embryo glue.
Currently almost 39 weeks and awaiting my csection on Tues.
Do not give up! Sometimes it just takes a few goes to get there.
We had nothing to freeze and only one embryo to put in. There was such little hope for it that they did a two day transfer as it was the only one. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant!
My acupuncturist told me at the time that all you need is one embryo transferred to give you a similar chance as the next person and to put everything else out of my head. She also said that someone with 6 embryos in a freezer and 1 transferred still has the same chance with the fresh cycle as me with nothing frozen. It did help change my mindset a little. And that is coming from her who had a failed cycle from a high quality blastocyst and some in the freezer. When it did work for her, it was a lower quality embryo.
Anyway, I’m babbling! In my tww I went crazy - you can see one or two of my posts 😂😂. Yet here we are.
I am really sorry you are in this situation. The same thing happened to us. On our first round they found 8 eggs , 5 fertilised, but one reached blastocyst stage.
We were told it was of top quality. I did the transfer at the end of February. I did the pregnancy test at home and the clinic which unfortunately for us came out negative.
I know 3 ladies from the clinic who did the transfer same day as me.
They all had one good blastocyst. Two of them are pregnant, but two of us are not. I guess it is pretty much down to luck.
Don’t worry it is pretty common. I know everything is hard right now but don’t lose faith.
Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and offering advice; it has been invaluable. You have given my partner and I some really helpful information to explore further, and we will certainly discuss this with our clinic if we get a BFN in 9 days.
I'm still feeling a little blue, although I feel stronger today. I'm trying to avoid clinging on to hope...but I'm still watching what I eat and wiring my mind to assume my body is pregnant, whilst also anticipating that it won't be. It's an awful psychological game this IVF!!
Thank you all again for taking the time to write to me - it has made a difficult time much more bearable.
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