Something that most men and women take for granted, for the rest of us it is something that can leave us haunted.
Trying and waiting with no success, month after month trying not to obsess.
The doctors then say "IVF would be next", this is exciting, you think, but then come all the checks.
Tablets, injections, blood tests, and scans, unpredictable appointments meaning you can no longer make plans.
The two week wait, the fight between being positive and realistic. Could it be side effect of medication or a symptom of pregnancy that is making me sick?
The stress and strain, then all made worthwhile, we finally got those two lines... we are no longer infertile.
The wait was over, our dreams had come true, well to be honest with the vomiting and exhaustion deep down I already knew.
The joys of sharing our amazing news, "it worked" was it enough to say, they didn't need any clues.
Only telling those closest, because of the 12 week unwritten rule. A notion that implies a miscarriage before then would be any less cruel.
The feeling of excitement, hope and happiness was indescribable. The bond and amount of love we had for our baby instantly was truly unbelievable.
Knowing the risks within the first dreaded 12 weeks, "its okay we have done everything right, googled all the tips and techniques".
Thinking surely it's taken too much for us to get here, life cannot be that unfair? Unexpectedly that hope you have leaves you completely unaware.
Feeling lucky and grateful everyday, which can be so quickly and painfully snatched away...
In the bathroom sat crying in the corner, in a split second I had gone from a mother to a mourner.
Pleading with my body to make my baby stay, praying to anyone listening, please don't take my baby away.
Our baby couldn't stay, despite the love it would receive. "It's nothing you have done" is something that took me a while to believe.
The questions, blame, guilt, depression and self-doubt. The happiness, future, plans gone, vanished, over, bang lights out!
The Doctor said it was chromosomal abnormalities, that meant your baby couldn't stay, unfortunately 1 in 5 pregnancies will end in this way.
My due date is nearing, something that should have been life changing. Instead this day will forever be painful and draining.
But we have to pick ourselves up and prepare for round 2, 3 or 4. To hopefully one day fill that hole that is deep within our core.
The amazing support from the fertility community has really helped me get through. Strangers bonded by pain and hope from a subject and process which is still so taboo.
*apologies for the such poor quality picture*
I'M PREGNANT!!! Dreams can come true 😍
Final Update on our Embryos 
20 weeks scan 😍😍
