BFN

[SeaChange]

Not quite sure how I’m feeling yet, don’t think it’s fully sunk in. Somehow this BFP is so elusive and feels like something we will never have.

But then another part of me can’t understand why, we found out we had a major blocker that was our eggs and sperm just don’t seem to ‘lock’ together so trying naturally and normal IVF won’t work. ICSI does work so then it’s like, great we found the problem and from here it will be plain sailing.

But life isn’t like that is it?! And now we’ve done our first and only NHS cycle the other factor of finances comes into it. Which we knew could happen but just adds another dimension of something to think or worry about.

So not really sure where to go from here right now. We’ll speak to the clinic later and see what they have to say I guess.

[Hidden]

I am sorry to read this.

It does often feel like the BFP is such a hard goal to achieve, but many do and many more will. I often think there are those that are in the % that it works for, so that could be us.

I am sorry about the funding its terrible, we have had to fund ours too :(. I hope the call goes well with the clinic and they have some answers for you.

Wish you all the best on your next steps and take some time to heal after your result xx

[SeaChange in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your kind words and the luck, definitely just taking some time to heal and rest. Next steps will come in time and we don't need to rush, not today at least!

[Hidden]

So sorry. Take care ❤️

[SeaChange in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your support, I've just read your recent post and my heart goes out to you. this journey is not an easy one. Sending lots of love your way. xx

[Hidden in reply to SeaChange]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this. It's never easy but hopefully you will heal quickly and the clinic can advise on next steps that they would advise xxx

[SeaChange in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Camillage, we have an appointment booked in to see our consultant next week so until then I'll probably be switching off and chilling out. xx

[Hidden in reply to SeaChange]

💔

[Foodie23]

I’m really sorry this round didn’t work for you. Hugs Xx

[SeaChange in reply to Foodie23]

Thanks, I read your post on what these experiences have taught us, and although this is utter shit and not a path I would have chosen, I have no regrets and value what I have with my OH and the experiences we have continued to have together (without children) that we may not have otherwise had. xx

[Cinderella5]

Sorry to hear that! I know what you mean about that elusive BFP.....I cant find one anywhere! Take some time to do something nice together and you can regroup and move forward when you've had some time to plan your next steps! Hugs.xx

[SeaChange in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks hun, we've had a lovely morning together and both feeling more settled.

we've got an appointment with our consultant next week so until then we will be chilling out! xx

[kirstyblue]

I’m so sorry. I’m sure the clinic will have other options for you. Don’t feel like this is the end of the road just yet.

I hope everything works out for you. Take care lovely xx

[SeaChange in reply to kirstyblue]

Thanks, we have an appointment booked in next week so I guess we can chat through all the options there. We do have 2 frosties so I expect those will be the immediate options

Hope everything's okay with you, I read your recent post and hope you're feeling better today and that your lining starts to play ball! xx

[kirstyblue in reply to SeaChange]

That’s good I’m glad you still have Frosties left so 🤞

thank you, I’m doing okay just really concerned that nothing will change by Tuesday x

[Dunla]

I’m very sorry to hear this. Try to allow yourself time to come to terms with this. I know your mind is flooded with all sorts of things this morning.

Focus on getting through today, be kind to yourself.

When the time comes for your review appointment, hopefully your clinic can suggest some modification to future treatments.

We also had to self fund which is definitely added worry. It might be worth asking your clinic or looking around to see if there are multicycle packages available anywhere. They offer refunds etc.

Take care and very best of luck going forward xx

[SeaChange in reply to Dunla]

Thanks for the advice, I hadn't thought of multicycle packages which is definitely something more to consider.

Taking your advice on the being kind today too, it's a very chill day with the OH which has been lovely so far. Sometimes it's nice to shut it all out. Best of luck to you too xx

[Dunla in reply to SeaChange]

Glad to hear you and your partner are having a nice bit of time together today.

Look after each other xx

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to hear this, BFN are awful. 😢

Right now you don’t need to make any hard or fast decisions.

When it feels less raw have a think about it.

I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do 😘

[SeaChange in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Jess, we're just having a super chill day today and have our appointment next week. Feeling in a more positive mindset than first thing this morning and doing lots of self care!

Appreciate your kind words and the luck xx

[Penders]

I'm sorry for your bfn. Sending you love and hugs xxx

[SeaChange in reply to Penders]

Thanks for the love and hugs, feeling very supported by everyone today and its really appreciated! xx

[Autumnmoon]

Sorry you didn't get your BFP this time I hope you can get some good advice and support and try again when you are ready. The funding issue is so unfair and does add an extra worry hope all works out for you sending love x

[SeaChange in reply to Autumnmoon]

Thanks for the love and the kind words. I really appreciate all the support. xx

[genten]

I'm so so sorry for your bfn. They are awful and my heart goes out to you.

I know how you feel about it not fully sinking in, I found it took days to sink in.

It doesn't seem like anything on this journey is plain sailing at all. Twists and turns everywhere.

Sending you lots of love. Take good care of yourself. Xxx

[SeaChange in reply to genten]

Thanks, somehow its nice to hear from people who have been through the same thing, as much as I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

Sending you lots of love and luck for your journey too. xx

[Masha111]

Sorry to read this. It is so difficult to remain positive when TTC (naturally or via IVF) I was sick of seeing 1 line when POAS. I would console myself and OH and tell him our time will come and it will happen, God knows when the best time for us is, everything happens for a reason and due to reasons unknown to us our time will be when it will be. (it may not have been much consolation but one of us had to remain strong and have hope). Then it happened after 3 years of TTC so we are fortunate, blessed, thankful and pleased we didnt give up hope and had the belief (having my 1st scan tomorrow)

I can imagine the financial pressure must be awful. As Dunla said above there are packages out there that offer full/majority refund. So perhaps explore this further.

I really pray moving forwards that this is your time. Speak to the clinic and with a plan take each day as it comes. All the best and good luck in your journey xx

[SeaChange in reply to Masha111]

Hi Masha, thanks for your lovely message and support. I used to hate the phrase that everything happens for a reason because before I used to think people were telling me I wasn't ready or right or good enough right now to be a mum. I don't think like that now, and despite the tough journey I wouldn't change a thing (which is lucky because we can't!). I love and value all the time and experiences I have had with my OH and other people over the past years that we may not have otherwise had if we had kiddies.

I'm so pleased to hear about your scan tomorrow and wish you the best of luck for it! xx

[Masha111 in reply to SeaChange]

Thank you, each time i write a post im thinking hope its not interpreted in the wrong way. I would never intentionally hurt or cause upset to anyone. You are stronger than you think and you will have your baby 🤱

The community here go through and cope with alot .... what others would not be able to cope with, so that makes everyone here very special and unique. You all deserve all the happiness you can have in this life cos you are all amazing!!!! Lots of love to you all and your OH for supporting you in this journey ❤🤗

[Kari55]

Sorry to hear this. I had a BFN on Monday after our 2nd cycle for which we have paid £10k. It was devastating but I decided that I won’t let it to get me down. Keep strong xxx

[SeaChange in reply to Kari55]

Sorry to hear about your BFN too, you've definitely got the right mindset and I'm with you on keeping strong and moving forward. The only thing I can control is what I do now. So right now I'm chilling the f out! Sending lots of luck to you on your journey xx

[Kari55 in reply to SeaChange]

Chilling sounds good! Best of luck xx

[silverlini]

Sorry to hear this 😔 it’s so tough it really is. I’m in the same boat as you, we had one round of ICSI on NHS which ended in a chemical pregnancy so now we have to factor in the finance side for the next round. I’m trying not to get too wrapped up in the finance. We are saving and anything else we need we will shove on a credit card! Rest up and take some time to think about what you want to do next xx

[SeaChange]

Thanks for your message, while it's lovely to hear from people in the same boat, I'm sorry that you're having to go through this too! the finances can wait for now (we have an appointment next week when we'll think about it more) for today I'm going to chill out, read my book and eat some chocolate.

Sending lots of love and luck your way. xx

[Tugsgirl]

Sorry for the bfn. They are very hard. In regards to funding perhaps you could think about trying treatment abroad? Lots of ladies should be able to advise on that. Take some time and look after yourselves for a while xx