Emotions running high 💔💔

[Francezc]

Anyone struggle holding back the tears every time a family member tells you their pregnant 😢😢 especially with everything that's going on and not knowing when we will be starting out third round. I feel so ashamed 😢

[Hidden]

Oh hun, please don’t ❤️It’s normal it happens to all of us ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Francezc in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Issy your so kind and my thoughts go out to you too. This is the most definite hardest thing but it makes us stronger ❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Francezc]

There’s plenty of us here in this forum struggling with infertility, but you know I’ve recently learnt that in the ‘normal world’ where we see all these pregnant ladies announcing with a smile and strolling around caressing their bumps, it can be REALLY misleading. They may have suffered a worse pain than ours but too ashamed to say it (stigma!) so they pretend ‘it happened after a month of TTC!’ Or ‘oh it wasn’t planned’ or ‘I don’t know how it happened I was on my period’ ....and so on. I actually know some of these people and I feel for them, to have the need of hiding their feelings is such a burden.

We have the freedom of struggling openly ❤️It may not seem much, but I’m starting to believe it’s helping us to continue fighting.

Sending love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[shia11223 in reply to Hidden]

V well said

[Italy300618]

Ohhh your poor thing. Yes I remember it well and right now it's not the news you want. Sending a big squeeze, you arent alone. I have this feeling it's going to happen again whilst we are in lockdown xxxx

[Francezc in reply to Italy300618]

Aw thanks Italy it's so lovely to have everyone's support as I feel you guys are the only ones who understand how it feels. I'm always usually positive but I get so sad sometimes xxx

[Italy300618 in reply to Francezc]

It's ok to be sad my love it really is. This is so tough anyway, throw in a family announcement its crushing. Yes you are happy for them but for us it is devastating 💗 big hug xxx

[Italy300618]

And dont be ashamed my love it's normal xxxx

[RhinoCat]

Oh we can all totally relate to this . Isn’t it such a kick in the gut ? I spent two months explaining all things ivf to my sister in law and you’ll never guess what ( well you will guess , because you know how this goes 😂)..... boom , she was next pregnant .

Some days you can manage ok with the news and others will feel like this . Mostly though , they wanted a baby too just , they didn’t have to hike hill and valley to achieve it.

Just cry today when you want too. Then try and find a way to embrace it.

I’m excited for my brothers baby , because I get to be a real live aunt .

Things will seem brighter in the morning ,

Hold tight 😘

[Francezc in reply to RhinoCat]

Thanks Rhinocat, I keep telling myself I will be a mother one day and it will all be worth the wait. The thing that really upsets me is people not wanting to tell you because of your situation, I actually just found out off my gran. I am.really happy for her though I just always feel this instant wanting to burst into tears feeling. Thank you lovely xx

[RhinoCat in reply to Francezc]

Awh pet, I totally get it. My brother actually said ‘we were so worried about telling you ‘ ..... my response , this is not about me! It feels so yucky but maybe people are trying to be thoughtful and compassionate without the ivf experience to be able to truly help. I hope you feel brighter today . 😎😊😊💖💖💐💐💐💐

What ten things are you thankful for today ?

💐

I’m thankful for :

1. My house

2. My husband

3. Hot showers

4. Melted butter on my toast

5. The spring birds singing out my window

6. The sunshine and blue blue skies

7. My kitchen table with little candles that cheer me up at dinner

8. My mum and dad, to ring for a chat

9. My big sister who sends funny messages

10. Thankful that I am well and can breathe in deep and feel relaxed 😌

You are here .

You are ok 👌🏻

Big hugs 🤗

[EasterChick]

Best of luck to you for round 3, that was our lucky round I'm currently 33w and we still can't quite believe were really going to have an actual baby!

I don't know why the 3rd round works more frequently than other rounds, but it seems to xxx

[Italy300618 in reply to EasterChick]

Congratulations, we are for round 3 next 🤞 xxx

[Francezc in reply to EasterChick]

Aw congratulations lovely I bet you can't wait. I'm praying we will be third time lucky but obviously due to COVID not sure when we can try, its just such a strange time at the moment isnt it. Thank you easterchick. Did you do anything different in the third round? I was booked into have a scratch xx

[EasterChick in reply to Francezc]

I just stuck to the medicines on the schedule - the guy who did the transfer (5aa) was very experienced and did do that very uncomfortable cleaning before the transfer went in but that’s it.

I then went home and had a glass of wine and watched tv... I think I was lucky with the quality of the embryo, the previous 2 had been lower quality and I think the one with the mmc was just one of those things.

Neither if us thought it had worked as I had no symptoms at all, but when I did the test we had a very very faint line.

I had 2 massive bleeds during the first 12 weeks, one at 81/2w one at 11w, and both times I thought it was over. But here we are, now preparing for the arrival....you just don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but our medical and fertility services are fab.

Oh, one other thing - I was expecting some eye rolling due to my age but the maternity team have been nothing but supportive, and I’m not considered high risk just because of ivf & age. If baba doesn’t come by 40w they’ll induce me for a natural birth!!!!! Wasn’t expecting that lol

[Francezc in reply to EasterChick]

Thank you so much for sharing your story easterchick you really have lifted my spirits. I had 13 fertilise but only two 5ab embryo's the first one was hatching 😢 so exciting for you and I wish you all the best for the birth lovely ❤️❤️❤️

[shia11223]

We all been through this and I know it does not feel good but whatever happens in our life has something good in it and we realise later and definitely we all will get what we want with the help and grace of God Almighty Ameen

[Francezc in reply to shia11223]

Thank you Shia, I know one day it will happen we just have to keep positive. Sending all the best of luck to you to lovely ❤️❤️❤️

[altiz]

You have nothing to feel ashamed about lovely. It is tough at the very best of times let alone now. Hang in there and use this time to work on your health (mental and physical) so you're in the best place when you can go for your 3rd round. Fingers crossed for you. Cry it out, breathe, carry on xx

[Francezc in reply to altiz]

Thank you altkz for your kind words means so much. I'm feeling a bit better just going to concentrate on my health and wellbeing for now . ❤️❤️❤️

[Sarah1575]

Aww Francezc, I can relate to this so much. My friends are forever getting pregnant and it literally crushes my heart every time. It feels like I’m always going to be the auntie, never the mummy. Then I feel guilty because I think I should be happy for them but it’s so hard. One of my friends saw it taking us a while so thought her and her husband better start trying- they conceived that very same month! I felt sick when they told me. It’s just awful. You’ve just got to believe that one day it WILL happen for you and when you get your baby you’ll understand that it was because THAT baby needed to be in this world and all this will make sense. Keep being strong 💜 xx

[Francezc in reply to Sarah1575]

Aw Sarah thank you it's so lovely to know I'm not alone and sometimes I just feel like a bad person for having these feelings but your right one day it will all make sense xxx

[BettyBe]

Don’t feel ashamed, it’s totally understandable. We lost our little hatchling 2 weeks ago at 6 weeks and every time they mention pregnant women on the news my heart sinks. It was our last egg and I have had guilty thoughts of when we can start again but it’s normal when you’ve hoped and prayed for something so badly 🌺

[Francezc in reply to BettyBe]

Aw Bettybe I'm so sorry I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I am sending the most heartfelt hug to you. One day it will happen I'm sure , thank you for your lovely words and I wish u all the best. We are so strong xxx

[lablover5658]

Hiya Francezc

I can totally relate to this. I had my first cycle end of 2019. The week before I started treatment my sisters-in-law announced she was pregnant. We hadn’t told anyone what we were going through. The family wanted to make such a big deal of the pregnancy news. My sister in-law loves attention! Our cycle failed and since has been a real struggle. I have had to withdraw from family gatherings due to the anxiety it gives me. My in-laws know now but that has made matters worse as they want me to be happy and gussy and I can’t face it at all. Not sure people understand the trauma that IVF causes.

Big 🤗❤️❤️❤️

[Francezc in reply to lablover5658]

Aw lablover I'm so sorry and your not alone we are all here for each other and each one of us understand these emotions. Absolutely the hardest thing ever is the unknown but I am sure we will be mother's one day. I have even thought of adoption because I don't know how many rounds my mental health can take . I'm always here if u want to message me xx

[lablover5658 in reply to Francezc]

I have wandered to how many rounds I can take. We have 4 frozen embryos and originally said that we would only try once. It hit me harder than expected the whole process.So not sure when or if I want to put myself through it again. The issues with my sister-in-law don’t help either.

Thank you 🙏 for your kindness, I think it’s really helpful that we can talk on this forum to people that truly know what this whole journey does to you!

Turns your life upside down and complicates so many aspects of it🤗❤️❤️❤️Stay safe x

[Coral86]

Ye me I feel yoy hun my friend baby arrived yesterday and it’s so frustrating we were starting our third cycle too xx

[Francezc in reply to Coral86]

Aw coral it's so hard isn't it, I have my fingers and toes crossed for you on your third time .. we got this and we have each other . Thank u so much for your response xx

[Coral86 in reply to Francezc]

Thanks Hun hoping for you too xxx

[Scbell]

I completely understand how it feels especially when they easily get pregnant and then tell you they want to abort. This happened to me not so long ago, with two of my friends who just found out they were pregnant and did not want to keep the babies, being a christian, I basically told them that children are a gift from God and abortion was not a solution. It was and has been a very hard time and as l feel that they were totally insensitive to me as they all know how much I want to get pregnant and have my babies

[Francezc in reply to Scbell]

Aw scbell that's so heart breaking when we are trying so hard and people are aborting. They are gifts i totally agree. I wish u all the very best lovely xxx

[Scbell in reply to Francezc]

Thank you Francezc and I wish you all the very best too and let's remember miracles still do happen xxx

[FandF2020]

I completely understand how you feel. We lost our baby in April 2019 and have been TTC since. My sister in law has sex once and is pregnant straight away.

i didn’t cope well at all, and after basically ignoring all my in laws for a month I spoke her and she was so understanding about how I feel and said that she’s not going to tell anyone until she can no longer hide it but day of her 12 week scan. Bang. All over social media.

That hurt me. But now all I think is yes I do want to be a mum more than anything, however I don’t want her life at all. And that really helps me to deal with the green eyed monster.

Sending you hugs though as it’s such a horrible situation to be in. Xx

[Francezc in reply to FandF2020]

Fandf you will be a mam we just got to think of that special day. I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss I can't begin to imagine your heart ache . I have everything crossed for you lovely and we are here for each other xxx

[Xtina1234]

Oh gosh don’t you worry! It’s so normal and you shouldn’t feel bad. I got a bit annoyed today with friends sharing videos of their kids in a WhatsApp group today because our 3rd cycle was cancelled. I had to bite my lip as I wanted to tell them to stop it which is totally unreasonable! You are allowed to feel what you feel lovely, it’s a tough time xxx

[Francezc in reply to Xtina1234]

Aw xtina it's horrible isn't it as we don't know how long this is for but I do believe everything happens for a reason so hopefully it's a sign it will happen next time ❤️ thank you so much lovely xxx

[Jjf86]

Yes I can understand your pain, am a male going through this had a TESE op last week and right now we don’t know when are icsi journey will start again after a failed 1st cycle we’re none got to blast stage, just this week iv had a younger family member and friend who have put up that there expecting, as well as other friends who are due in next couple of months and few new borns it’s not a good time to have fertility problems now,

[Francezc in reply to Jjf86]

Aw Jif86 Its so hard especially with everything going on. Hope the Op was ok. My partner just tells me to be patient which is so hard but it's true that's all we can be. I hope your next attempt is your lucky round lovely. Sending lots of luck 🍀🍀🍀