So I haven't even made it to OTD (Thur) π’, brown spotting for the last few days has now turned into bleeding!!
So gutted, I knew the chances of getting a positive on 1st ever transfer were slim but when we were told it was a top quality blastocyst you let yourself dare to dream!!
Should be grateful we have the 3 frozen, but today I just feel like my stupid body continues to let us down!! π’
Sorry for the pity post - there's so many ladies on here who have gone through so much more - you ladies must have incredible strength!! xx
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Leo2017
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I know, I was so p*ssed off that I didnt even get to test. Well I still had to but I already knew it was over. I cried a fair bit the first time but was almost expecting it the second time so like you numb! Just do whatever cheers you up, I drank lots of wine and ate lots of junk food....marginally cheered me up!
My big 40 is looming too, November......eeeeek!
Thanks for your well wishes, Im starting to get a wee bit nervous and excited though I suppose in a good way as I feel like I have a bit more of a fighting chance!xx
That's exactly how I feel - the silly thing is im not sure what the difference is either getting my period today or a negative on Thur it's the same outcome, but it just feels like I've let us down by not reaching OTD! π
That's totally understandable to be nervous & excited, I'm learning this journey is such a mix of emotions!! Wishing you the very best of luck!! π€π»πxx
Sending big hugs sorry to hear about ur bleed. You invest so much time and effort into it and to get nothing at the end of it must be heart breaking. I am on a 2ww now with the only embryo that made it to transfer and not top quality I know my chances are not great but u ur right u cant help but dream. One day ur thinking positive the next ur crying it's an emotional journey. My dad says never give up hope as we never seen each other due to my mum n dad having a very messy divorce for 20years and he says he never gave up hope seeing me or my sister so that's in the back of my mind never to get up hope on having my baby one day. I did not think that ivf would have such an inpack not just on ur body but on ur mental health. As I said am in the 2ww and last night I was planing my next cycle and googling top clinic, I don't have any kids my husbands does from a previous marriage and had a vasectomy he had it referred 3years ago but due to low sperm count we had to do icsi Also cause he has had kids and had a vasectomy we had to pay Β£5000 nothing to freeze so if this does not work we need to start from scratch n a other Β£5000. Keep ur chin up it's not all over yet take him to heal and get back on the journey again and hopefully next time ur dreams will come true. β€οΈοΈβ€οΈοΈβ€οΈοΈβ€οΈοΈ
Thank you for your kind message!! You're right it's such a tough emotional rollercoaster & it sounds like you've had a tough journey so far....I've found the ladies on here so helpful, hopeful it will be the same for you.
I know I'm fortunate to have this round on NHS & 3 frozen, but today is tough!!
Wishing you the very best for the rest of your 2ww!! When is your test day?! Hoping for a positive for you!! π€π»xx
Hey there! I'm sorry to hear about your experience... But don't blame yourself or your body. Guilt will never do you any good. Maybe it was not the time, and you will succeed in your next cycle. I'm sure that you will become a parent and I will pray for that. And don't give up! Lots of baby dust to you π
So sorry hun. It's awful. Don't think for one minute your not strong hun in my opinion any one that goes through the ivf journey is incredibly strong. I don't have that strength. Be good to yourself allow your time to grieve and when your ready get ready for round two. It will happen hun. ππ€π
Oh hun that's even more unfair. Gosh I really do feel for you. Keep strong hun were all here you need to rant have a chat anything. I'm here feel free to message me whenever. ππ€π
Oh hunni I am so sad to read this! I'm so very sorry that it hasn't worked. Don't blame yourself, you haven't let any body down by not reaching to OTD. This IVF journey is not an easy one and you are strong for getting this far. Take care of yourself and alow yourself time to grieve. Sending you big hugs xxxxx
it's hard not to feel like my body has let us down again!! π But we'll pick ourselves up and try and focus on the 3 frozen we have and pray for success with one of those!! π€π» xx
I m so sorry for you honey! Try not to too think too much. Easier said than done. It's good that you have 3 frozen embies. Don't ever think that if the top quality hasn't worked it will not. Women get pregnant sometimes with not so good quality once. Change your focus to your FET now. Prepare yourself for it by taking good care of yourself. Sending you lots of love, luck & prayers. ππ»
PS if you have not done this before eat pineapple with core in your 2WW along with proteins.
Thank you for the kind message!! That's absolutely been going through my head - if the best embryo didn't work why will the others - but trying to get that out of my head!! π
I've seen that on here now about pineapple, I'll definitely be doing that next time!!
I had my first failed cycle about 4 weeks ago and to be honest I was absolutely devastated. I really wasn't expecting to feel so dreadful. I hated myself and never wanted to do it again!
However similarly to you we've also got 3 little embies waiting for us. I've slowly started to shift my focus although the first time didn't work the battle isn't over. You've done amazing to get to where you've got. So well done you!
In saying that it does hurt it really does and it's such a horrible pain so let yourself feel all the emotions. Hopefully though in time one of your little frosties from this round will be your little miracle. Xxx
Thank you for such a kind reply!! so sorry to hear you've had a very similar journey so far, although like you say we each have 3 frozen embies which hopefully will give us our positives!! π€π»
Right now tho I'm feeling like can I put myself through that all over again!! I totally underestimated how the 2ww in particular messes with you!! π
When are you due to start your frozen cycle?! Do you know if you have to wait long between fresh and frozen cycles? xx
Thanks hun. I completely understand where you are coming from hun. I wasn't expecting such pain. I knew there was only a small chance but your mind does crazy things.
I really didn't want to do it again it hurt too much. The pain does ease a little though.
After talking to one of my friends who has been through IVF, My DP and the consultant we are looking at a FET with the October cycle. I know some girls have been told 3 months.
Look after yourself and your OH today and do what ever it takes to get you through. But here is hoping to a brighter future. Sending you lots of hugs xxx
Our daughter had a full on proper AF that started 7dpt, it too was her first transfer. It lasted a full 5 days and a test gave her a BFN. She tested again on her OTD and was completely thrown as she got a BFP!
Since then she's done a few tests all still giving her BFP's, her 1st scan is tomorrow, she's had no symptoms whatsoever. We don't know what to think, but are cautiously optimistic.
This journey is both confusing and hellishly difficult, I'm keeping everything crossed for you π€πΌπΉxxxx
Im so sorry to hear this. Take the time to heal and try and not be so harsh on yourself. You'll find the strength to move forward with hope and positivity again. Thinking about u xx
Leo2017 I feel so sorry for you because I'm in the exact same boat - my OTD is tomorrow but I started spotting Tuesday and it's got heavier since πͺ I had a good cry on Tuesday but not giving up hope and neither should you after what we have been through. You are lucky in that you have some frozen, none of mine made it that far and you're not a failure i purely believe it's timing and our time will come ππ½
Oh no I'm so sorry to hear you're facing similar - however fingers crossed yours just stays as spotting & you get your positive tomorrow!! π€π» Mine is most def AF now tho!!
I know you're right about the frozen embies - I am fortunate and need to focus on them - it just seems really tough at the moment, but we'll pick ourselves up and go again!!
Im currently having excruciating cramps - is that normal? And the brown bleeding is getting heavierπ I'm not holding my breath and I'm going to start my next round as soon as they let me. It is tough and we are allowed to feel sh*tty for a while but we shouldn't dwell on it too long or that's when we start falling into that black hole of depression. It's good to try to shift focus on other aspects of our lives. For me looking after my 2yr old niece has actually been a god send because it's kept me busy & she always makes me chuckle because she's such a character x
Sorry to hear about your loss! It's so painful to lose a baby. The AF sounds like an evil creature preying on our hopes. I had a MC at 8 weeks. Worst part it's all unexplained, both my infertility and the MC. Well, I didn't feel like talking to anyone for a couple of days after, not even SO. Just cried silently and felt the agony was like building up in me. My SO tried hard to make me vent is all out and at last after almost 12 days I was able to talk and cry, and share everything with him. Felt better! Will get my IUI soon. You shouldn't be blaming your body like that. You're certainly not alone, me and many like us are going through the same. It's just that some people have to struggle for happiness and we're among them. You've got get strong and fight the odds dear. That's the only way you can get over all there sufferings once and for all.
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