5 rounds own eggs and now donor eggs failed

[Orla9298]

I’ve been awake all night til after 3am then awake from 6.30, don’t know why anxiety has chosen to hit me right now.

We just used up my last donor egg embryo and it failed with a chemical. We got 2 embryos 5Bb and 4 CB from my friends eggs.

I’ve done every test under the sun now and have had 4 miscarriages between 5.5 and 6.5 weeks plus COUNTLESS chemicals including this last transfer. Every time an embryo fails in me I get this weird extra crampy feeling and excessive heat radiate from my abdomen and thighs for a couple of hours and sure enough the next day tests are lighter or blank. It feels almost like an allergic reaction inside my uterus. We have tested for nk cells which were low and cytokines which were also low. Tested all sorts, hidden infection, all clear, two hysteroscopies both normal.

The only other thing is my hubbys last sperm DNA fragmentation test was really poor and while we have booked a specialist to look at that, I can’t see that it will help as he already does take loads of supplements including antioxidants and doesn’t drink much alcohol. Wears cotton boxers. He’s had a full month free of booze.

I really think it’s time for surrogacy with embryos from my sisters eggs, but it’s niggling at me that hubbys sperm may continue to make future rounds fail.

No wonder I’m having anxiety. Just so desperate now.

[Cinderella5]

I'm so sorry Orla!!💔 I know that you've had an incredibly rough journey so far. its incredibly difficult to keep on trying not knowing how to solve the mystery we all face of why it's just not working for us. This was our last cycle after having the ERA test which discovered my implantation window was out and we were transferring at the wrong time. We had adjusted my transfer timing already and we were getting CP/early losses but when we got thr timings back it all seemed to make sense as we were transferring borderline too early or too late. Nothing is gonna guarantee this transfer will work and my hubby had really bad news about the deterioration of his sperm too. Our donor was pretty young this time so we have managed to get 2 very good embryos this time but all the rest have deteriorated - apparently young/good eggs can make up for some of the damaged DNA in the sperm. Anyhoo it was just a couple of things to to consider. I do also take prednisone & do intralipids for slightly raised NK cells. Wishing you luck, if we could have afforded it, we may have done surrogacy as I dont think I really trust my body now but it wasnt an option for us.😘 Hugs.xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Cinderella5]

I’m just not sure what to do next... a traditional surrogate (would use her own eggs) who I’m getting on with really well might be an option but she’s 34.

We can afford surrogacy but not without a lot of stress plus we have to pay the huge costs again to do a donor round.

My sister is 32 and when she did her own ivf 18 months ago she got 11 eggs and 5 top quality embryos... but her husband is only 27 so that may have helped.

I don’t know whether to do a round with my sisters eggs or to use an agency and get a young donor! Every donor round seems to be around £10k so it’s a big deal if it doesn’t work with my sisters eggs.

We are seeing a specialist for hubby’s sworn on 17th feb and I’m literally cracking up counting the days as we booking it a couple of weeks ago for the first appointment he even had

[Melrey in reply to Orla9298]

So sorry to hear about your struggles. What percentage of sperm has dna fragmentation?

Get him to start eating two tablespoons of organic tomato purée mixed with extra virgin olive oil a day.

Get him checked by a urologist also.

Lastly are u having icsi or tried IMSI or macs icsi? These help to try find less damaged dna sperm.

We have dna sperm issues also... xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Melrey]

He already takes lycopene and practically drinks organic olive oil. I’ll dig out his results and repost them when I find them. X

[Hidden in reply to Orla9298]

Just to second Melrey - DNA fragmentation makes a massive difference. I wouldn’t do another cycle until you have got some answers from the urologist. Supplements only do so much...I think you also need to check if he has bacteria in the sperm or a varicocele. My partner had a varicocele removed and his fragmentation has gone down from 42% to 21% - a massive difference. You should also only do IMSI, says our urologist.

Many doctors blame eggs, and yes younger eggs can help repair DNA damage, but the fragmentation is a major factor and it causes miscarriage and poor embryo quality. After a million consultations, this is what the top doctors are saying.

I would focus on the sperm for a bit first before going to the next step ❤️

[Orla9298 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Anna! Yes we agree we are definitely seeing dr Ramsay it’s booked for 17th feb, and yes we all ready paid for infection testing and he had E. coli in his semen sample so we both had antibiotics, I’m hoping that it was the infection casing all the damage but who knows. We won’t waste a donor round until we have his opinion and retest too after the antibiotics. It’s been 5 weeks since the antibiotics and will have been 8 weeks by the time we see the specialist xx

[Hidden in reply to Orla9298]

Perfect! They say it takes 72 days for sperm to renew itself so hopefully will be out of your system by then.

E. coli sounds nasty! Hope you are both ok x

[Cinderella5 in reply to Orla9298]

It's so hard to know what to do Orla, it really is! We've run out of options now. The only other thing would be, would you use DE abroad with a proven donor? Ours was 21 yes old. It's a bit cheaper....10k is ridiculous!🤯😱 We knew OH sperm would degenerate though perhaps hoped it wouldnt come to a bad as it has. We just know we have done all we can do & if we dont get our much wanted baby then we've tried unbelievably hard!! Good luck, always here if you need a sounding board!!xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Cinderella5]

I’m really hoping for you for your latest transfer! My friend who went abroad after OE and DE fails at home, used a younger donor abroad, transferred two top quality blasts, and just gave birth to twins 💕💕💕

[Cinderella5 in reply to Orla9298]

Awww thank you!💗🙏🏻 We live in hope!xxx

[tiger-cub]

Hi orla ! You have been through so much .

Have ur husband ever had proxeed plus . It seems it’s one of the best fertility supplements for men and most of d consultants do advise men to have it . My hubby has it too . And his speed quality has been better ever since .

Yes and I think I would b inclined towards surrogate with younger donor . Sometimes compatibility can be an issue.

Even when u go through clinics with donors . If a cycle fails then they tend to recommend changing the donor . Obviously different clinics act differently .

Xx

[GiantPanda]

Oh Orla. I feel for you so much. As usual, I don't have any advice but just want to send you hugs. It seems like you've got lots of wonderful support around you, but I'm not too far away, so if you did want to offload with someone a bit more removed from you, I am a good listener. I hope you can get a better night's sleep tonight and good luck with your next investigations. Xxx