Coping with unexpected pregnancy announcements

[Kat_15]

Hi fellow IVF fighters 🌈💪💛

I’m in a waiting phase before our next round of treatment at the moment as my thyroid has gone over active so I’m having lots of tests. My hubby is undergoing tests for DNA fragmentation.

With the help of weekly counselling I have been getting stronger but I still have days where I feel pants.

One of those days was yesterday when after staying with our friends for the weekend. One of our friends mentioned that one of our other friends was expecting her second child. She only had her first child just over a year ago. I have been told about a lot of friends being pregnant recently but I wasn’t expecting this news and I felt like I had been physically winded. I ugly cried after we left in the car as the realisation that she had managed to conceive twice in the time we have been trying was hard to take. I also felt physically sick. Have never had this type of physical as well as emotional reaction before, I think it was the shock!

How do you all cope with these types of announcements and situations? xxx

[kitscat]

Oh lovely I know exactly how you feel!!! I have done this on a few occasions. It is so painful isn’t it? I really feel for you. I’m not sure I know how to cope except look after yourself be kind and focus in your journey. I keep saying yo myself that it doesn’t matter who is pregnant as it doesn’t affect my outcome. Focus on your own journey xxxx

[Suzy86]

I second what kitscat says and I have had this reaction a few times myself and it’s just awful. I try to keep in mind that I don’t want their baby it’s my baby that I want and whether they are pregnant or not doesn’t actually change anything for me. Usually takes me a few days to get to that conclusion though and sadly distancing myself from the pregnant person is usually what I have to do, I’ve found it’s the only way I can cope. Focus on you, be kind to yourself and know that everybody here in this community totally gets it even when others don’t xxx

[Jessy1280]

I'm sorry to hear this. Totally understand where you're coming from. In work there's a girl on my team (heavily pregnant) talking about it morning, noon and night whilst I sat there in tears most days, someone else waiting to become a grandmother (heard about that daily) and someone else's partner just became pregnant. Every woman in my room at some point have had children and their chit chat killing me. It's bloody hard and really painful.

The only thing that kept me going was fighting for my turn, being productive, trying to eat well, take supplements, having investigations if necessary. Made me feel like I was doing something to help my situation.

I sooo wish I had comforting words, something to make you feel better. This community is amazing though. Just focus on you, your wellbeing, your journey to motherhood. It'll be sooooooo worth it in the end xxxx 🤗 big Big hugs xxxx