Does everyone feel this fertility journey is so life consuming. It’s all I think about and I’m struggling to stop it consuming me. I feel I’ve let it define me as a person and therefore I feel like I’m failing.
My husband is able to switch off but I can’t seem to.
Sorry for the negative message 😢
It’s totally broke me I’m struggling to find the old Rachel again hence the break from the world of fertility I need to find who I am again before moving forward in 2020 Sorry I’ve not been around on the forum much I’m really struggling at life at the moment hope your ok darling xxxxx
Hi lovely,
I completely understand how you’re feeling as it has completely taken over my life for the last few years. Like you, I’m 33 and had an ectopic pregnancy last April and been TTC almost 3 years. It has affected my friendships, only because I don’t want to be around my friends as much, especially as most of them have 2 or 3 kids. But I wanted to give you some hope that everything will work out. I got a positive test result, on my first cycle of IVF and I’m in disbelief. I am so happy and can’t wait to hopefully get back to feeling like me again!! I have everything crossed for you that things will all work out!! Xxx
Oh this is amazing news! Huge congratulations to you. This definitely does fill me with hope. What was your AMH? Do you know why you had an ectopic? I’ve already had one failed IVF cycle and I’m just so scared. Xxx
I think my AMH was 5.6 or something? She said it was a good level. No idea why the ectopic pregnancy happened, they told me at the time it was just bad luck 🙈! I was devastated and when they had to remove my Fallopian tube I was so worried about how that would affect me!! I tried to keep so positive throughout the IVF journey and know how lucky I am that I’ve got a positive in my first cycle. I’m just hoping and praying everything continues to go well 🙏🏽! I really hope it all works out for you!! Xxx
Yes I know how you feel 100%, we have had a real up and down journey, with no positive outcome yet. It all got a bit too much a few weeks ago so we have agreed to stop everything until next year as we have lost sight of everything good in our life (I say 'we' its me really - like you my OH can park everything and just switch off!) its definitely impacting our relationship.
its not a decision we have taken lightly, I am 42 - 43 in March so time is really really short. Clearly I am not 100% disconnected as I am still on this forum and am having some counselling to work through everything so far. But we have definitely ditched IVF until January earliest
I find it just gets worse and worse, so if you can I would try and take a break - do something different, try and get away at weekends, try and remember the good things in your life before all this TTC lark.. because it gets harder to get out of the hole.
Huge hugs, you will get there in the end xx
Thank you so much. I don’t know how the men do it!!! They can just switch off! It’s crazy!
I think your advice is right-it could go on for so much longer so I just need to keep trying to be strong. It is so hard though! I feel like everyone else is moving forward with their lives and I’m stuck here 😢 xxx
Did you have a long or short cycle? Xx
Hi there, aww I feel exactly the same. It is sooo consuming. Men are definitely better at switching off. Have you had an appointment to go back for another round yet? I find that when nothing is happening it is literally the worst thing in the world, but when you get moving in a direction it is a lot easier to focus on hope. So maybe you will feel better if you are working towards something and they give you some dates. I've just had my second round dates and I feel like a weight has been lifted. Even though I hate it all and it scares me completely but life seems that bit easier knowing that there is a chance of us getting pregnant on the way. Wishing you lots of luck and sending big hugs xx
Thank you for replying. Yes I have an appointment to discuss starting the second cycle and I’m going to push to start that next month I think. You are right, having a plan certainly feels like I am more in control but I am terrified it’ll never happen. Wishing you lots of luck too xx
I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. It completely consumed me it was all I could think of - the apps to get to another one urgh it was exhausting. My hubby was definitely at switching off maybe they feel their role is to support us I don’t maybe they are just a bit detached lol I wish I could’ve been! There’s no guarantee & that’s the scary thing whilst facing infertility. No crystal balls to look into to see all will be okay if I had known I would be lucky to have my daughter I might have been able to relax! It’s so difficult I don’t have the answers. I wish you the best & hope you get your wanted & deserved BFP soon xxx
Thank you! I’m so glad you got your BFP. I’m praying for mine soon! It’s the uncertainty that is the hardest and the fear. 😢 it’s just scary. Xxx
I couldn’t agree more. This is exactly how I feel, and I feel like I’m stuck and can’t get out!
I feel it affects us so much, especially friendships, social life... well for me anyway. It’s all I can think about, I’m a chronic over thinker.
I feel like the waiting game is the worst, they won’t do anything for me and my husband until he’s been smoke free 6 months! 1 month down, 5 to go!!! Just got to look forward and think next year at least we can get the ball rolling.... Big hugs to you and here if you ever need a chat or a rant. We need to be kind to ourself xxx
I think one of the hardest things is that 4 of my friends are all pregnant together and due within a few months of each other. I’m pretty sure they have a separate WhatsApp group discussing all pregnancy related things. In some ways I’m grateful that I’m not in this group so I’m not reminded of my struggles everyday but in another way I feel completely left out. I don’t hear off them as much anymore. They know we have had some problems but not the full detail and they certainly have stopped asking me how I am. It makes me question how much value there is in the friendship anymore. 😢
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