I knew all along it had failed but that doesn't make the heartbreak any easier. A million questions running through my head....
What is wrong with me?
Why did a good embryo fail?
Will I ever be a Mum?
How many times must I do this?
Massive good luck and baby dust to everyone else taking their tests today 🌈 🤞 xxxx
I am so sorry it failed for you . Difficult to know why it didn’t work . Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you though . Time is a great healer with trying to get over it . I found planning the next round helped but some ladies like to take a break . It’s the worse feeling in the world but you will start to get your positivity back over time . So sorry and big hugs xxxx
I’m so sorry xxx
Aw im so sorry to read this news, you did absolutely nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong with you, this cruel game is a lot down to pure luck and I'm sorry luck wasnt in your side this time. Be kind to yourself and take some time to process.. Your time will come and all this heartbreak will be worth it xox
Could cry for you Jessy1280 
But you didn't do anything wrong. Sadly, despite everything we know about conception and the amazing ability we have to reproduce that process, we know, relatively, very little about chromosomal and uterine conditions for implantation and it is down to luck. I feel it's harder to accept that when IVF/ICSI seems like 'the answer' you've been waiting for after trying to conceive naturally though?
I went through three rounds within 8 months and as Lolepops said, that made me feel better/productive at least, but it can also be healthy to take a break depending on your circumstances. Take a day or two to lay on the sofa crying and then think about what you and OH can/want to do. There is more than one way to make a family and yours will come - try to keep the faith xxx
So sorry to read this, sending hugs❤️❤️❤️xxx
I’m so so sorry hun 😔😔xx
Oh Jessy I’m so sorry, I was hopeful for you after seeing your faint line earlier in the week. Look after yourself, take some time, plan your next steps when you are ready. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you, it’s just the nature of IVF unfortunately..it’s often an odds game, no reason why next time won’t work x
Thanks everyone. It's so amazing having you guys here. As anyone going through ivf will understand the pain is indescribable.... yearning for what should be the most natural thing in the world. Xx
Sending you a huge hug, the pain does get easier and all of a sudden you will find yourself looking forward to starting again with heaps of positivity. Infertility is a really cruel world but it will be worth it in the end xx
I’m so, so sorry lovely. Sending you the biggest hug. 🤗I asked all these exact questions to my hubby after the news sank in this morning. We also got a BFN 😢 so all my symptoms I had must have been the medications. We will both need time to grieve but we will pick ourselves and do all over again as we we IVF warriors. 💪🤗❤️ xxx
I’m so sorry xx sending you big hugs xx
Just to say I feel you. I am also heartbroken at a recent negative result. Will I ever see a positive? It is, unimaginable pain.
But once you have grieved, you will pick yourself up.
You will be a mum. Got to have faith and believe it. Keep going 💪🏼
Sending love xx
Oh Jessy I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of love ❤️
I’m so sorry, don’t give up hope ❤️ Remember all the positive stories on here, all the struggles that paid off eventually ❤️ Keep strong ❤️
Sorry to read this. There are no words that can take away the pain you are feeling right now. Take time to heal and when the time is right ... try ...try and try again 😘
😞 I'm sorry to hear this round didn't work out. Thinking of you x
Gutted for you it’s not easy and it don’t get any easier I’m thinking of you darling xx
So sorry x big hugs to you x
I am so sorry to hear this. Big hug, thinking of you. Xx
So sorry to hear this - sending you a huge hug through the ethers xx
So so sorry to read this, BFNs are heartbreaking and all your questions are ones I’ve asked myself. When I have had follow up appointments with the Doctor they have been reassuring and have said often it’s luck of the drawer and just because this one didn’t work doesn’t mean another won’t xx
So sorry to read this 😢😢 I was really hoping for a positive outcome for you ! I’m glad your looking forward ! Write all your questions down and ask your consultant! xXx
So so sorry Jessy 😢 Take some time to heal. Spoil yourself with all the things you couldn’t do with IVF/ pregnancy. I believe that, as this journey is unfortunately not easy for most, the ones who can find the strength to get back up, dust themselves down and carry on towards motherhood (whatever route that may be) will eventually achieve their dreams. One day you will look back on all this as just a distant nightmare xx
Sorry to hear you got a bfn today. I'm heartbroken for you. It is so hard to not ask those questions to yourself everyday. I'm sure we've all done it. Just try to take some time, heal the wounds. Big hugs.xx
I’m so sorry Jessy, it’s truly heartbreaking when a cycle doesn’t work and there really
are no words to describe the depth of pain you feel. You will get through this, some how. I’m sure that way is probably not clear to you at this point in time when it all just feels so painfully raw. but all you can do is take small steps just to get you through the day, one at a time. I’m 3 weeks out from our second failed ICSI cycle and I would love to tell you that it gets easier, but each BFN is like another knife to the heart. We also have MFI although are using frozen sperm which is good quality (from before my husband had treatment for cancer) so it’s just utter disbelief each time it doesn’t work for us because on paper there is absolutely nothing wrong - it’s unbelievably hard to accept that it’s just the luck of the draw each time but that is what our doctors keep telling us. Allow yourself all the time you need to grieve and process this loss, I promise you there will be a way through this and prioritise self-care and setting boundaries for yourself to regain your inner strength - I know it must feel in absolute shreds right now. Do things with you partner that you both enjoyed before ttc became all consuming and know that you are not alone in this xx
I'm just filled with overwhelming sadness when I wake up and find myself just wanting to go back to sleep. Trying to understand why it failed when everything was stacked in our favour. Think I'm actually a bit depressed tbh. I know we all go through this but can't help wondering if there is something actually wrong with me despite all the tests saying otherwise. I'm really scared of it failing again.
That’s exactly how I felt when our first cycle failed, I couldn’t get out of bed and just wanted the world to f**k right off. I had totally convinced myself that we were going to smash it first time and did not at all take on board the fact that the odds of success on a first cycle (no matter whether there are underlying issues or not) are only around 40%. I just couldn’t accept that we were on the ‘wrong’ side of those stats. My whole world fell apart and I had a total identity crisis - started questioning everything around me and every decision I’d taken which had resulted in us being in that position. It was exhausting and debilitating.
Do you have access to a counsellor because what you’re feeling is completely normal and they will help you to see that and validate all the emotions you’re feeling, which can be so helpful to start the healing process. Also, how quickly can you see you consultant to discuss the cycle? We had to wait 6 weeks after first cycle ( NHS, it was absolute torture) but only a few days following our second private cycle which did make a real difference. They will help you to understand that no matter what the tests say and no matter how closely you are being monitored, they still can not control whether or not a cycle is successful, it is still ultimately down to luck. It’s incredibly hard to accept that when you’ve put all your faith in the medical process, but it’s the only way to move forward and pick yourself up again to try again, which is all you can keep doing.
Be kind to yourself, if you don’t want to get out of bed and just cry then allow yourself to do that. Maybe try and aim for one thing today, like having a bath or going for a peaceful walk in the sun, but please please don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s not your fault and you do not deserve it xx
Oh Jessy, I'm so sorry it didn't work... you need to take lots of time for yourself. Have you spoken to a therapist? Finding the right one is difficult ... But worth it.
The drugs are really awful at making you feel super low without the bad news you've just had...so don't be hard on yourself
The consultant who transferred my 5aa embryo into my seemingly spot on anatomy lining great still said it's still 50/50 , there is always stuff we just can't always understand and that's really tough.
Try and eat well and allow yourself to feel grieve
Xxx
So sorry to hear this, I know how u feel as I have just had a failed cycle last week so am feeling all the same emotions, anger, hurt, tears, numb thinking it’s never going to happen. It doesn’t get easier either if not harder. Take time for u, I have eaten loads of rubbish food and tried to keep myself busy it has helped but I have moments normally waking up in the morning is the hardest so I force myself up so I stop all the questions going round in my head. Take care, look after yourself you will feel better It will just take some time xx
Big hugs 🤗 to you. Its hard isn't it. I just keep telling myself one is bound to stick eventually. Read an article recently about a CNN anchor living in London (married to a brit), after 11 years or something she's finally pregnant. It's really inspiring. Takes such resilience to go through it an insane number of times. Keep fighting 🌈 xx
We will keep fighting 💪🤞🍀🌈☀️ Xx
Sorry it wasn’t the result you were hoping for. I know it’s really tough but you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Even with the perfect blasto there is always an element of chance to it. I found the follow up consultation with clinic useful as they were able to identify areas where things could improve even more for the next round. Spend some quality time with you and your partner and remember you are a fighter not everyone is brave enough to get this far xx
Big heart felt thanks for all the comments. As Im self funding I'm fortunate to be seeing the doctor as soon as Wednesday in the clinic (they even offered me Tuesday). Not sure what they can tweak... We have 2 frozen embryos left (4BA already hatching and 4BB). Im going to insist on 2 next time so if those fail I can get straight onto a fresh cycle. I was on such mild meds long protocol due to my naturally high amh. 13/16 of my eggs fertilised with ICSI which is over their 50% expectation. Not sure how I can increase my chances, what they can suggest or whether they'll use other meds?
Had thought about endometrial scratch or acupuncture but I don't know enough about this yet. Need to start researching things that could help I think. Xx
That’s amazing you’ve got 2 frosties to try again with, and your fertilisation rate is great too! On those stats I am so sure you will get there and it’s just a matter of time/luck.
We only had 1 embryo from 8 eggs which is well outside the normal fertilisation rate and are being told that it’s just a case of keep trying because sometime you get totally different fertilisation results between cycles. We’ve only got 1 embryo in the freezer so will try with that next time but mainly for the same reason as you in that if that fails then we have no choice but to start again from scratch and i want that decision to be made for me, if that makes sense.
All your stats are really good and the grading of your embryos so I’m not sure what else the doctors would do apart from upping your meds slightly (that’s what i’ve been suggested to do as was also on standard long protocol and don’t have any risk of OHSS).
There is a huge part of all of this which is down to nature taking its course and there’s only so much tweaking the doctors can do because ultimately nature will always determine whether or not an embryo sticks. I find that sooo hard to accept being a total control freak in other areas of my life so initially I just couldn’t accept that not matter how hard you work to tick all the ‘right’ boxes, the result you want isn’t down to you at the end of the day. It’s a tough lesson to learn but you have to get comfortable with it somehow otherwise you are going to drive yourself crazy with the what ifs and that’s when this whole process becomes just unbearable.
Really really hope the doctor can give you the comfort you need and that’s great your able to talk to someone about it all so soon. My advice would be try not to jump into a next round too soon, tempting as that is just to get on with it, it’s SO important to let your body get back to a good/healthy baseline level before you try again otherwise you’re only doing the whole process a disservice. We jumped into second round very quickly and I do wonder whether that contributed in
some way to it not working because I am really seeing now just how messed up my body is coming off the drugs this time around. We’re having a small break before our FET so i can just get back to feeling like normal before taking more drugs. Sending you lots and lots of luck and baby dust!
Dont know how you ladies do it... I'm finding it really hard coping with it all. I still feel lost and utterly broken. I love this site. It's literally the only place I can talk openly xxx much love to you all xxx
Give yourself a break hun, you’re only a couple of days out from receiving the worst news. Allow yourself time to grieve and process all of the crazy emotions you’re feeling - losing an embryo is a form of bereavement and you have to heal emotionally. It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to feel back to normal so soon, genuinely took me around 4/5 weeks after our first failed cycle to feel anywhere approaching ‘normal’ again (whatever that means!) and honestly I am never going to feel the same as I did before IVF ever again. This process breaks you each time and you have to find a way to piece yourself back together again somehow. But I promise you that you will get there in time. You don’t have to snap back into action mode if you’re not ready. If you’re on IG then I would really recommend following MorganHarperNichols and Missconceptioncoach - amazing ladies who articulate exactly how this feels and I found a lot of solace in their words xx
BFN OTD 
OTD.....BFN 
OTD - BFN
