More disappointment

[Hope4usall]

So an update on our embryos. Our 7 embryos were all doing well on day 3. We were told they were all doing well, normal number of cells and appearance and high quality. Today's call a completely different story, but disappointment seems to be the theme for us. None of them have made it. Zero. How is this possible? I would have thought this quite rare when using donor eggs, and my DH's sperm is apparently really good. I am having a phone consultation tomorrow morning. what questions do you think. I need to ask? They will now be looking for a different donor, again xxx

[Hollibob]

It’s so tough! At day 5 we had one to transfer and two that weren’t great, but taken to day 6 to see...these ones didn’t match their requirements.

I guess you could ask if it was their first time donating? There is bound to be some people who have had the normal blood tests done, but may not know if they have anything else going on..

Were they egg sharing to make their own ivf round cheaper? Would this then indicate an issue with the donor?

Has your other half had a sperm comet dna test done?

Sorry you are going through this x

[Ash2016]

So sorry to hear this lovely. It’s so unfair. I don’t have any answers but want to send you hugs xxx

[Missy_22]

Did you know the donors age?? If over 35 then this can happen sadly. I’m so sorry.

This is why we go abroad to get much younger donors.

[Hope4usall in reply to Missy_22]

It was abroad. I used a donor last time who was 31 years old and asked for a younger o e this time x

[Missy_22 in reply to Hope4usall]

Oh my goodness I would be cross then. The donors we used are all between 20-23 years old. We went to cyprus.

[Hope76]

So sorry that is a huge blow losing all 7 absolutely gut wrenching. I recently had 2 x 3 day embryos transferred as my history is I get pregnant from 3 day transfers. Going forward can you ask for a 3 day? My research tells me it is not always best to grow them to 5 days. It only helps identify they really high quality ones. At day 3 if cells are dividing as they should then my embryologist advises lot to be said for transferring them into a natural environment which we decided to do.

Sending 🙏🏻 x

[SJA14]

So sorry to hear this, it’s so hard to take when you have gone through so much already.

This sounds almost identical to what happened with our first donor. We went on to use a different donor with much better results. We didn’t get any sort of explanation about why the first donor’s eggs didn’t make it and in fact our clinic tried to steer us towards using donor sperm as well. We did have some doubts about the first donor as she was a bit older at 34, but clinic reassured us that she had a child and was perfectly fine to be a donor. It was only after we got no blastocysts and in our follow up appointment that we found out that her child was 6yrs old and she had only had miscarriages since then. I’m not really sure why the clinic would consider her to be a good donor candidate but we never got any answers there... Based on this info we decided to try a different, younger donor with my hubby’s sperm (against clinic advice to use donor sperm as well) and we got better results in terms of blastocysts on day 5. Last transfer ended with disappointment but we still have 4 frosties left.

So difficult to know what to do but I always feel best to follow your instincts. Best of luck xx

[Mantaray75]

I’m so sorry you have been so unlucky again. Are you tied to that clinic. It is probably just unfortunate but I think I would need to try with someone else to feel I had given myself the best chance. The fact that they didn’t defrost last time is quite unusual. How old was your donor this time? Mine was 26 and has had 2 kids and also another woman had a baby from one of her donor eggs. You need someone with a proven history.

X

[Hope4usall in reply to Mantaray75]

I think she was proven. I requested that and a younger one this time. I'm about to speak to the consultant so I'll see how that goes xxx

[Hope4usall in reply to Hope4usall]

So the donor was aged 18! Had donated before with success. The consultant said the embryo quality was slightly fragmented on day 3 and not completely normal as I was told by the embryologist. We now have someone that speaks better English who will discuss the embryos with us next time as I think the language barrier was a problem. X

[Niki_B]

Oh that's so horrible hun I'm so sorry. I dont think many people realise my embryologist told me the biggest hurdle for embryos is getting past day 4...day 4 is the biggest change the embryos go through. Day 3 everything could be looking great then that could all change after day 4....which sounds like what's happened to you. That really sucks I'm so sorry. But since they are donor eggs dont you get some sort of guarantee? I hope they can do another round for you for free or something. You must be devastated I'm so sorry 💔 😥 sending big hugs xxx

[Hope4usall in reply to Niki_B]

Yeah we don't have to pay for the next round so that's good. Spoke to the consultant today who is still positive. We have have to keep hanging on and hoping. Thanks for your kind message x

[crisps88]

So sorry to hear this, it must be heart breaking for you to have these disappointing results. I really hope that there is a different donor that matches you perfectly next time, don’t give up. I know it’s not easy but it will get better. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself you’re going through a lot xxxx

[Hope4usall in reply to crisps88]

Thank you. Yeah it's heartbreaking and we deem to have no luck at all!! We must be due some. X