Our tiny baby has finally let go 😢 - Fertility Network UK

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Our tiny baby has finally let go 😢

KTL80 profile image
49 Replies

Following successful implantation I had an early scan due to some bleeding at 6+4. We were told the baby was measuring small but did have a heartbeat. We’ve had weekly scans since hoping against all hope that our little one would catch up. Sadly each week we were told progress was too slow and each scan showed a fading heartbeat. Today, at 10 weeks, the scan couldn’t find the heartbeat. We have been preparing ourselves for this while trying to remain hopeful over the last 4 weeks but no amount of preparation is enough to hear those dreaded words.

Hoping something will happen naturally over the coming days as I can now come off all the meds. If not, I will need a D&C.

4 transfers resulting in 2 pregnancies. 1 natural pregnancy. All 3 pregnancies ending in miscarriages; one at 23 weeks, one at 10 weeks and one at 6 weeks.

Time to take stock, rethink, and look deep into ourselves to see if we can cope with doing this all again. I turn 40 in Jan so I know the clock is ticking. Actually, it sounds more like an enormous clamour rather than a tick right now.

I wish you all the best of luck with your journeys.

Xx

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KTL80 profile image
KTL80
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49 Replies
Drives profile image
Drives

My heart breaks for you. Sounds like you guys have been through hell. Sending you lots of love 💕 look after each other x x x

Lots8788 profile image
Lots8788

So sorry x big hugs and lots of love to you both xx

runsoncuddles profile image
runsoncuddles

I'm sorry you're going through this. Sending you all my love xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

So sorry for your loss. I had three too prior to where I am now, I know how devastating it is. Make sure you get some investigations underway with gp/miscarriage clinic referral once you’re able xx

Noah1981 profile image
Noah1981

I’m gutted for you totally gutted 😢😢 take care of each other sweetheart don’t know what to say to you really xxxx

Kitcat12 profile image
Kitcat12

Oh darling I'm so so sorry 😞 life truly is unfair. Look after yourselves lovely x

MissSaoPaulo profile image
MissSaoPaulo

I'm so sorry to see this. So heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs hon xxx

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

I’m so so sorry. Take care of yourself xx

City74 profile image
City74

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You must be devastated. Thinking of you. xx

Solly-44 profile image
Solly-44

Just heartbreaking. I’m so sorry lovely, will be thinking of you xx

AMumToBe profile image
AMumToBe

Sending you lots of prayers x so sorry to hear you are going through all of this x

So sorry to hear this xx

Shirazlover2013 profile image
Shirazlover2013

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, it’s not fair. I hope things happen soon naturally and that you can focus on healing post heartbreak. Look after yourself xx

hey

I'm so so sorry, take time to heal mentally and physically.

I just wanted to say, I had 4 failed ivfs, 2 mc of natural pregnancies, I'd had given up hope. The July before turning 40 we fell pregnant with our rainbow. Against all hope.

Don't let age put you off.

My amh was that of a 45 year old.

Praying for you.

Scarlett13 profile image
Scarlett13

My heart is hurting for you. You’ve been on the roughest and toughest of journeys. This isn’t fair. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry, and I hope you’ll soon find the strength to have some miscarriage investigations if you haven’t already ❤️❤️❤️

I'm so sorry to hear your story. After so many ups and downs I can totally understand your need to take stock. Sending you lots of love.xx

ChristineB05 profile image
ChristineB05

Aww hun I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sending you lots of love, take care of each other 💕

Lou7744 profile image
Lou7744

I am so so sorry to read this. It is so heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

2-shades-of-hope profile image
2-shades-of-hope

I’m so sorry. I know the pain of weekly scans waiting for their heartbeat to fade and it’s awful. But I can’t imagine the pain of that after your previous late loss and miscarriages. I hope that you have the support around you that you need xx

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob

:-(

Please make sure that if they haven’t done any recurrent miscarriage checks previously that they do them this time...

We had similar on our first ivf round, measuring small at first scan and continuing scans until there was no heartbeat at 9+5. Always hoped for the miracle...

Acupuncture helped speed up the natural miscarriage for me.

From this, I then knew I’d had previous miscarriages prior to ivf.

Had another ivf round, BFN.

FET from first cycle, BFP, but another miscarriage.

Another ivf round, BFN.

After that, we moved on to donor eggs.

First cycle, BFP..currently 24+1....still worried.

I was 40 in December so count my blessings every day.

Look after yourself x

So sad to read this. What a journey. Hope you and your partner can comfort one another through such a sad time and I’m sending my best wishes for your recovery and what comes next. X

It’s hard to know what to say. I am so sorry you’ve had such a difficult time. I hope you are getting the support you need and that those around you are looking after you. Sending love.

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B

I'm so very sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you 💔😢 you've been through so much. Sending love and hugs 💕 xxx

Shinyhalo1 profile image
Shinyhalo1

Wow true warrior right there! You’re both fighters and I wish you luck and love with whatever you decide xx

Sprinkles86 profile image
Sprinkles86

I’m so sorry for your loss, the last few weeks must have been so tough for you both. I went through four miscarriages before having my boy. All recurrent miscarriage testing was ‘normal’ but I went to Warwick for NK cells testing and that was high so had steroids with our last frostie and that was the cycle that worked for us. Worth looking into if and when you feel ready xxxx

Skippy1982 profile image
Skippy1982

Sooooo sorry for all your losses and the terrible pain you must be experiencing xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss & previous losses. I hope you can get referred to a miscarriage clinic & can get some answers & hope this gets you closer to having your much deserved baby. It’s so unfair. xxx

LKT1 profile image
LKT1

So sorry to hear this. This is awful news. Look after yourself and fingers crossed for whatever route you decide next xx

AS100 profile image
AS100

Totally heartbreaking 😢 how can life be so cruel. sending you both love ❤️ Xxx

Shelleybean profile image
Shelleybean

Oh gosh, devastated for you 💔 you’ve already been through so much. I remember how those dreaded words felt and it’s horrible 😭 Sending you love and the strength to continue your journey xx

Sandyels profile image
Sandyels

I am so, so sorry.

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

So sorry to hear this. As the other ladies have said make sure you push for referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic and also see if you can get a referral to Tommy’s. Hopefully you can get some answers and a way forward. For now look after yourself during this sad time x

EmGLA profile image
EmGLA

I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts.

xx

Joy83 profile image
Joy83

I am so sorry to hear this. Sending big hugs your way. Xx

SunnyDream profile image
SunnyDream

I'm turning 40 next year and had 2 pregnancies as well. All of them ended with miscarriages so I know what you feel dear. We are in the same boat with you... While reading your story I remembered that not so long time ago one interesting method appeared that can help women of our age to get pregnant with own eggs. The main idea of this method is replacing donors mitochondria in our cells in order to make them stronger and more energetic. I believe that it may help. I guess I'm just looking for something to hold on to, I don't know. But what if it will work out for you? My AMH is too low for this procedure, unfortunately, so maybe you can have a chance to do it. Think it over hun

Be blessed!

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

So heartbreaking!!💔 Thinking of you both!!xxx

I'm so sorry you are going through this, I totally get how you feel. I am 42 and have lost 3 pregnancies including my last IVF round where we had a heartbeat at 7 weeks but it was gone around 9 weeks. I was beyond devastated and its taken me a long time to come to terms with it and even start thinking about trying again. The only reason we are now trying again is the thought of not having children still remains more painful than the thought of all this happening again. I guess there is a tipping point where that stops, but at this stage for me personally that hasn't happened yet.

I am continually told by everyone 42 is no longer old to have children, so please don't let being 40 put you off.

Have you had any tests? After my recent MC I had an MRI which showed a septum in my uterus and I also tested positive for lupus anticoagulant and blood clotting issues. We dont know that any of these are the reasons for the MC and it could just be crap eggs but I feel like we get closer to clarity each time. Try and find a consultant who is willing to help (I got all of that via the NHS despite my IVF having to be private). But in the meantime sending you massive hugs, and courage to get through the coming weeks xx

jathakor profile image
jathakor

so sorry! Keep faith, my prayers are with you love

God bless

amandac84 profile image
amandac84

Sending lots of love and support xx

Missy_22 profile image
Missy_22

I have had six miscarriages from 23, 16, 10, 9, 7 and 6 weeks and it is so painful and heartbreaking at what whatever stage. I’m so sorry to hear this. Don’t worry about your age so many are having babies in there 40s. I’m 40 in August 😞. Just take time out to grief and concentrate on you. Big hugs xxx

Bunnywoo profile image
Bunnywoo

I'm so sorry. Truly devastating. I hope you take plenty of time to grieve your losses. It is so unfair xx

Like people have said above, if you haven't done so already, I would try to have some recurrent miscarriage tests done, now that you've sadly had 3 losses. The NHS do have these recurrent MC clinics, which I went a long to, but unfortunately still felt they hadn't checked thoroughly enough, and was told to relax and keep trying (I found those words just made me so angry!). So I paid to have a load of private tests done, which showed up a few issues, most of which can be "solved" with the right treatment. Some clinics offer a really comprehensive package of tests.

If you want to PM Me I can show you the list of tests I had done at my clinic, I'm happy to share.

Again, I'm so sorry this has happened to you xxxx big hugs xxx

Sai6 profile image
Sai6

You are so strong KTL. So sorry to hear this. I am devastated in my first failed IVF. Had ectopic recently. You have been through lots of pain. Hats off to you and all the ladies who have attempted more than two times. You are right, the age won't stop for us. It depends what and how much our bodies can bare.

Sai6 profile image
Sai6

Sending you lots of love and hugsxxx

staaa88 profile image
staaa88

I’m so sorry for your loss xxxx

Fingerscrossed38 profile image
Fingerscrossed38

Very sad to hear this. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time you grieve. Do you know why you've lost them? Perhaps next round you do pgs testing to eliminate chromosomal issues? I hope you have your baby soon xx

Hope25 profile image
Hope25

I am so so sorry - no words seem enough or right but I am thinking of you x

Dreamingofbaby profile image
Dreamingofbaby

So sorry this has happened. So heart breaking. Look after u and do what best for u both hope u ok. Take good care.

st1984 profile image
st1984

So sorry you're going through this 😥

Its heartbreaking & so cruel.

I had 2 MC after IVF, had second level tests and was found to have high NK cells so need to be on steroids now (cycle 5) to dampen down my immunity. Could be an option to get checked for this? There could be a fairly easy to treat cause... I know it doesn't help now but might help you plan for the future should you want to carry on with it all.

Thinking of you xx

KTL80 profile image
KTL80

Thank you all for your amazing support. It humbles and comforts me to know how much you all care. We are all on a truly tortuous journey, with unbelievably difficult pot holes. But we keep going as the destination will be worth it, I am sure of that.

I am definitely going to push for tests at a recurrent miscarriage clinic. We are not ready or willing to give up on our dream.

Thank you all again. Never have I loved a bunch of strangers like I do right now!

Katie

Xx

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