** Sensitive post **

[desert_island]

So after 2 years of trying and a diagnosis of unexplained infertility we finally got our BFP after our first round of IVF! I'm so excited, but can't quite believe it still. Viability scan booked in for July 18th so fingers crossed all is ok.

I'm unsure what to say to people now as a few people in work know I've been doing IVF but I don't really want to tell them that I'm pregnant this early. Some nosy ones keep asking though (I'm a teacher so basically had to tell my immediate team as I've been off so much. They're most definitely colleagues rather than friends though and it feels so wrong to tell them before I tell friends and family. I also have OHSS now so am in for scans every 2 days so they know something is up). Any suggestions? Xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi . That’s wonderful news. Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy. Get your scan booked so you can meet your little bean. Diane

[Bridget_rose]

Congratulations!

Totally sympathise with not knowing what to tell people. I’m trying to say that the process is still ongoing and it’s just a case of waiting. Just fob them off basically!

Good luck! Xxx

[desert_island in reply to Bridget_rose]

I've already said I can't test for at least another week, but some of then are so nosy they've worked out the dates and keep asking! Wish people would mind their own business. My only saving grace is that I've only got another 3 weeks until the end of term. Let's see how long this stays secret 😬

[Cinderella5]

Congratulations! Not sure what to tell them, just be vague and that you've complications from egg retrieval and when you have news you'll be sure to let them know?!xx

[Drives]

Congratulations, fantastic news!!

I would just tell them about your OHSS, they don't need to know about your pregnancy just yet 😉 x x x

[MissSaoPaulo]

Congratulations hon - beginner's luck, how lovely

Hopefully if you say something like "When there's something to tell, I'll tell you" it will put them off without being a barefaced lie. It's your special time and your decision to tell people as and when you want to xxx

[AnnieAnnie]

Congratulations xx

[KW83]

Congratulations! We had a similar situation with people at work knowing we were in for a treatment cycle and then didn't want to tell them we had a BFP until much later on. We went for the approach of telling people, if they asked, that we were still just waiting so keep fingers crossed for us'. I think they probably guessed but at least realised that we didn't want to talk about it and would tell them when we were ready, which we did after 12 week scan. It is really hard, but remember it's your life and your news and they have no claim over it! Just be evasive and hopefully they'll get the idea.

[Lots8788]

Congrats! wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy x I agree with the others re being evasive and hopefully by then it'll be half term so no more qs and then you can tell them when you're ready to x x

[Rainbowhope]

Congratulations hun.

[Hidden]

I would say, I will tell you when I know!

[Apples2665]

No suggestions but just wanted to say congratulations. Amazing news! X

[Solly-44]

Congratulations! 🥰

[CarmenMac]

Congrats!!!! I'm 19 weeks and haven't told 98% of my colleagues- am fortunate that I only see my team 2 days a week as they all work remotely- I plan to tell all once the 20 week scan is done. You're technically 4 weeks pregnant and that's when I told my boss and his second in command - I asked them to keep it quiet until week 12 and then we'll tell all :). TBH, I'm with you where you want to tell your closest ones before all nosy Parkers out there. Legally, you don't need to tell anyone until 28 days before you intend to start your maternity leave. As all the other ladies said, tell them they'll be the first to know when anything extraordinary is to be announced. Hugs and best of luck with your pregnancy - amazing times! Xxx

[ArienAnwamane in reply to CarmenMac]

Ooh, my job says 11 weeks before maternity starts, so check your work policy on that one. If you're UK and employed by the Local Authority this might be the case (I'm Hampshire CC)

[ArienAnwamane]

I was booked in for tests and appointments related to squiffy periods, potentially having to go the route of IVF, before falling pregnant. I continued to tell my supervisor that I had appointments to go to relating to this when instead it was confirmation/ scans/ midwife appointments, until 12 weeks.

Perhaps you can string out your "IVF" appointments and pretend there's more for them to check on and test. At the end of the day it's none of their business until you choose to tell them.

[ArienAnwamane in reply to ArienAnwamane]

And, so sorry! Congratulations!

[strong-girl]

Congratulations xx tell who u want when u want don’t feel pressured