Dont try again

Has anyone’s family or friends tell you not to try again? Either after miscarriages or any fertility treatments? Both my mother and sister have said this to me recently after 3 mc.

[Squeak2]

Hi gwc104! How are you? In reply to your question I think the only people that can answer that are you and your OH. You are better equipped to know the ins and outs of all your reasons to try/not try again but sometimes taking a step back from everything isn’t such a bad thing to let you breath and re evaluate things! Good luck with whatever you decide 💕 xx

[Hidden]

Hi I’m fine the reasons behind them saying this is firstly saw us going through mc’s which is awful for us and them but other reasons is my kids don’t need childcare if we had a baby our “freedom” will be restricted again, it’ll cost more for holidays and for my sister we work together so she’ll be on her own during my maternity and have to work more & 3 much harder than 2.

Just find it funny people like to add their opinion to our decision.

[Alisha79 in reply to Hidden]

Hi,I hope ur ok. I think the only people to decide that is u and ur husband. U do what’s best for u and don’t listen to anyone. Trying to get pregnant is hard n u don’t need anymore telling u what u can do or reasons not to have a baby.

Don’t give up,ur turn will come n u will be an amazing mummy one day 🙂.

[Nodds]

This is your (and your OH) decision and no one else’s. Imagine you took their advice, fast forward 60yrs and your in your nursing home reminiscing about your life would you be wondering ‘...what if...?’ If the answer is ‘yes’ you need to carry on. Be strong and determined in your beliefs and be sure to tell those who feel they have a right to override your desires where to stick it. They’re just being selfish and not putting you first. Good luck!xx

[Hidden in reply to Nodds]

Lol crikey I’ll be 99 in 60yrs time but I feel I have one more go left in me regardless the out come they are just thinking of themselves and I do appreciate all my parents do helping me with childcare through the years but I also do a lot for them too.

[Cinderella5]

I really think its up to you and your OH if you try again or not. In some ways I think they will be trying to protect you, after seeing you go through may losses already they will be concerned however I do think there is a line there and perhaps its crossing it a bit to say that to you. My MIL tells my hubby all the time that we are doing the wrong thing to keep on trying, that kids arent everything and to enjoy our freedom, holidays etc....get a dog if we want something to care for! He gets pretty mad and I dont like what she says but I do try to keep the peace by reasoning that she just doesnt want to see us go through unecessary hurt although I do think she should button her lip. We have talked loads about when its time for us to stop and I think that's something that you two have to decide together.xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cinderella5]

I wouldn’t just offer my opinion unless I was asked don’t know why they feel the need to tell me what they think, my partners sisters ask if we’re still trying and he just tells them to mind their business lol. My lot don’t think about my partner has no kids & still wants to try for his own.

[Cinderella5 in reply to Hidden]

Well that's how it should be....some people just cant hold their tongue. Neither of us have kids and yet my MIL cant see how important it is to us both, expecially my husband. Oh I dont know, if you can then try to brush it off. I kind of think your husband has the right attitude....its pretty much like asking if you're still having sex and who would ask that?! Ha ha ha xx

[Hidden in reply to Cinderella5]

Ha ha I know he tells people nothing no body’s business.

[Kempton]

Like some of the others have said, their comments might be out of concern for your wellbeing. But even so, it's sad they are disregarding your desire for another baby and the fact your partner would like his own biological child. I say keep going and follow your heart, clearly you really want another child, it's not like you are willing these mc on yourself.

As a side comment, I hope you are a bit closer to finding out what's causing the repeated mcs and I hope you get some answers, and hopefully solutions soon.

[Hidden in reply to Kempton]

Hi no there was nothing they could find and just said keep trying if we want to.

[AnnieAnnie]

Hey there, my dad said to me that at some point I will need to give up (this was after my 2nd cycle) and basically that if it's not worked, how long can I keep going on trying. Since he's said this, I've had another unsuccessful cycle and I've told him I'm not giving up until I have a baby no matter how. I think after my response he now knows how I feel about having a baby of my own and how much I want this. It's hard for people to understand if they've never struggled with ttc. I'm not going to let what someone else says stop me from trying, this is my life and my decision, whether someone else thinks it's wrong has no bearing on my decision. You've got to do what's right for you and your OH and only you will know when you can no longer go on with this horrible journey. I myself have no idea when I will give up with ivf, whether it's with my eggs or DE but if I do, I will become a parent by adopting which I've always wanted to do any way, so no matter which way I go, I am not giving up. I do like how people have an opinion when they have no idea. And I know deep down my dad prob said what he did to try and protect me, but I'm an adult and capable of making my own decisions, whether I get hurt by them or not. Hopefully, no matter your decision, your family will be there if and when you need them to get you through or support you xx

[Hidden in reply to AnnieAnnie]

Exactly your decision I know if u we do eventually conceive and it’s all good my mam & sister will be happy, I think they just say stuff so if we don’t I’ll be ok and there’s other things to look forward too it’s been 2 years of being on hold. I have given us a stopping point of one more mc or til I’m 40 which is March 2020 feel under pressure but we’ll see how things go.

I hope you get your baby soon xx