Sorry if a little over dramatic 😫 - Fertility Network UK

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Sorry if a little over dramatic 😫

everhopeful83 profile image
19 Replies

My sister in law has just had her 2nd baby, a wee boy - he’s perfect. I’m delighted for them all as a family, But I’m struggling so much with it at the same time, it really stings😞

Any tips on how to pick myself up would be lost appreciated! I’m sure I’ll put my positive pants back on again soon, but today I’m struggling xx

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everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83
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19 Replies
Arya10 profile image
Arya10

You’re not being over dramatic, it’s a very painful situation. It’s so hard.

I tell myself that I don’t want her baby, I want my own. Once you have your own baby this won’t be an issue at all.

Don’t feel like you have to visit lots, go with your gut on visits, if it’s too much just don’t go. Self care is so important so that you don’t add more stress into this stressful journey.

Does she know about your struggles?

Be kind to yourself xx

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to Arya10

Thank you for your reply💞 she knows minimal information really, but she knows the basics that we are struggling with fertility. I’m hopeful I’ll feel better tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll pass. Really appreciate your reply, I hope you’re well 💞 xxx

HollieW profile image
HollieW

It is really hard when those close to you get pregnant and have babies, seemingly so easily. I even got annoyed that Meghan Markle got pregnant so easily which is totally irrational but infertility drives you crazy.

If you need to keep your distance do and genuine friends and family will understand. It does get easier and I just remind myself I wouldn't wish what I have gone through on anyone and I try to be happy for them even though it sometimes seems impossible xx

Faith27 profile image
Faith27 in reply to HollieW

I also can relate to the Meghan annoyance which is awful but I was hoping (As awful as it sohnds) that it would atleast take a year like most people and she could talk out about it and spread some well needed awareness! Fertility drives you bonkers and feelings change over time - now I'm positive and feeling happy for them because why should anyone else experience what we are? How awful to wish that on someone else I thought to myself... I guess we all have good days and bad days and accepting the bad and the good is a step forward in coping. No matter how hard you try to put a smile on your face, sometimes it's just gutting that your body doesn't seem to be working in the way that is should. It's tough!

HollieW profile image
HollieW in reply to Faith27

Completely agree with everything you have said. There are good days and bad days and it's natural to be jealous of those who can conceive so easily xx

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to Faith27

Thank

You so much for your reply 💜defo a bad day for me today, but I shall try & pull it back tomorrow. We are visiting them tomorrow and I am looking forward to it, but sure it will be a wee bit hard too. Just need to get that big smile on my face 😊xxx

Faith27 profile image
Faith27 in reply to everhopeful83

I'm sure when you are there, it won't be as bad as what you think. You may be gutted and upset and that's ok! Make sure you plan some time for a nice hot bath and to do something you enjoy after your visit (whether that be a good film, good book, favourite goodies or glass of wine!). The anxiety of the event often far outweighs the actual thing. Make sure you have a plan in place for when you come home and that you have good support. Come and chat to us on here if you like :) today's not a good day for you.. and that's completely OK! It'll be your time at some point I'm sure of it.. just keep faith xxx

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to Faith27

You’re so kind, thank you for your lovely reply 💜💜💜xxx

Faith27 profile image
Faith27 in reply to everhopeful83

Take care of yourself, your time will come xx

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to Faith27

❤️

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to HollieW

Ye I’m feeling a bit better tonight, a bit more rational😂 I’m super happy for them but it still stings a wee bit💗 thank you so much for replying xxx

strong-girl profile image
strong-girl

I know how u feel and it’s not easy but remember your time will come my sister in law hates children and she got pregnant before me it was really difficult her little boy is turning one and I’m nearly 32 weeks pregnant so stay positive xxx

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to strong-girl

Thank you so much for replying, congratulations on your BFP💞😍 I pray my time will come too, this can be such a tough journey at times. I am so grateful for this forum & lovely people like you to share my feelings with xxx

Drives profile image
Drives

Ah it's really tough isn't it? Can totally relate to this. My advice - do what you feel comfortable with in terms of visits etc. Genuine friends & family will understand. You've got to put yourself first in this situation.

Your time will come 😘 take care x x x

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to Drives

Thank you very much💜 I’m really trying to let it ok today! Thank you for your advice it’s much appreciated😘 I hope you’re well💞xxx

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934

Hey,

Hope you are okay!

I put a similar post up the other evening. My auntie has just had her 8th baby, and I was suppose to be her birthing partner, but I couldn’t put myself through it, she understood. But I have felt so down and upset, I’m so happy for them all, but praying that one day I could have all of that, at the moment - I’ve kept my distance, I’ve seen pictures, and been on FaceTime, but tomorrow we are going to visit for the first time. So I imagine I will be down again tomorrow.

But a lady commented on my post and reminded me it’s not her baby I want, it’s my own and that really hit me.

Take each day as it comes and if you feel like it’s too much keep your distance for while.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best xx

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to ChloeL934

I’m sorry I didn’t see that, I’ve not been on much in the last week or so. I pray we both get our miracles soon💗xxx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5

Everyone has days like this Hun so I really feel for you. No matter how pleased you are for people when they tell you their good news, it always hurts and some days more than others.

I’m glad your family are aware of your struggle to give support as it must be so hard when people try and hide the pain & upset with this journey.

I just try and remind myself that it’s not my time yet but it will come eventually. The thought it might never happen makes my heart sink so I don’t go there. Your a strong lady with an aim in sight and what can be stronger than the maternal instinct of wanting to be a mum.

Sending love and hoping you have a better day tomorrow 💕🙏xX

everhopeful83 profile image
everhopeful83 in reply to Clover5

Thank you so much for your kind reply, I hope both out times come soon💞💞xxx

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