What’s with the little negative voice? - Fertility Network UK

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What’s with the little negative voice?

Optimistic7 profile image

Hi all, so me and my husband officially started today. Had the scan and first injection. I’m scared of needles but it wasn’t too bad. Can’t help having this little voice in the back of my head saying don’t get your hopes up, it probably won’t work. Has anyone else have/had this? I’m trying my best to ignore it and stay positive. X

16 Replies

Oh yeah, and you'll find about halfway through your 2ww it will go into overdrive and you'll become convinced the whole process has failed and fall into despair. This WILL happen. 100%. Happens to us all. I think that little voice is a protection mechanism you have for yourself to try and be prepared for the worst and it is most definitely NOT a gut feeling or instinct that you should rely on.

Stay positive if you can, if you can't, it doesn't affect the outcome, just how you are feeling during the process. Please try and remember that as we beat ourselves up so much thinking our attitude will have some effect and it all just puts more pressure on yourself - and I think we have enough going on at this time!!

Best of luck with it all!!!

Thank you, that’s great advice and really helpful x

Hi there, I’ve only just joined this site and honestly it is so helpful to hear that you are feeling the same as me! We are about to start treatment too. I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice but am here as a friend in the same boat 😘 xxx

Have you thought about going to counselling? Xx

Optimistic7 profile image
Optimistic7 in reply to Rosa19

Thank you - me too

Different situation but for me not getting hopes up had made it so much easier this time around to deal with bad news, I do want to feel happy and overjoyed but I know that will not be the case for us now and will always feel nervous to let myself get to far ahead of ourselves.

Optimistic7 profile image
Optimistic7 in reply to gcw104

I completely understand and I think that’s where my head is at. How many rounds have you done? X

gcw104 profile image
gcw104 in reply to Optimistic7

Different situation I can conceive naturally our problem is miscarrying currently having our 3rd mc in a row they last til 12w. So get all happy we get a bfp except this time we were super held back and dealing with the bad news better than prev. I’ve not had ivf so can’t even imagine the stress and pressure of dealing with that.

Optimistic7 profile image
Optimistic7 in reply to gcw104

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re okay and staying positive for the future x

Oh yes, totally. Right now I'm on an ivf cycle now and doing my best to stay positive but every little up or down, or sometimes nothing at all, will have me convinced its all going to fail. Its just a voice in your head, has no baring on what is going on, and won't alter the outcome - I take some comfort in that! I think it's the mind trying to manage a response to unknowns, trying to prepare us. But I don't think it does prepare us, so best to clock it as the little voice it is, and keep going! I wish u loads of luck x

Optimistic7 profile image
Optimistic7 in reply to magda22

Thank you! You too x

Hi lovely, I had this all the way through my cycle- it is very normal. I think it protects us a little if it doesn’t work. All I can say is, feeling a little bit negative won’t effect your results. I was pessimistic throughout and it still worked for me.

Also have you heard of the app mindful ivf? It was such a help to me throughout the cycle and during first 12 weeks of pregnancy. It has different meditations to for each part of the process and during the 2 week wait. It’s about £3 I think but so worth the money xxx

Sending you lots of luck xxx

Thank you! I’ll take a look at that. Did it work for you first time? X

Yes we were very lucky xxx

That’s fantastic! I’m really hopefully that it will work first time 🤞

Will keep everything crossed for you xxx

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