So I think it's all over...*update* HCG dropped from 600 to 61. It's over

[Saya85]

*update*

Hospital will scan me today or tomorrow but my HCG has dropped since Friday and it's pretty obvious im not pregnant. so that's it I guess ...

Xmas eve we found out we're pregnant

New year's Eve we find out we're not

Onwards and upwards I guess.... Baby dust to you all and those who are pregnant - pray it all goes smoothly for you xxxx***

_----------------_----------------_--------------------_------

Had a light bleed on Xmas Eve which ended quickly...nothing else through the week and on Friday I did a digital clearblue test that showed 2-3 weeks

Hurray

Saturday I finally relaxed and believed I was pregnant and went off to central London to meet family who had IVF babies....

Halfway through I felt hot and cramping and went to the toilet and had a heavy gushing bleeding with some clotting. Had to confide in the babies mum that I was bleeding and pregnant and she reassured me and told me of nearest hospital

Bleeding eased after the gush and we went to dinner with friends

It then continued cramping and bleeding and the journey home was horrendous - so painful I felt faint and thought I'd haemorrhage on the train (!)

Four hours of heavy bleeding and intense pain it stopped after midnight and I slept through the night.

Very light spotting bleeding all day and now I'm cramping and it's getting heavier again slightly

Did another digital test now (on 4 HR urine but it's very diluted ) and it now shows 1-2 weeks

I know they're unreliabke and it could be because it's diluted urine but I did feel last night the level of twisting and bleeding and cramping I must have miscarried

I'm upset because I've been really busy rushing around and hubby kept telling me to test- and as soon as we went out it happened - and I couldn't even lie down

Gutted but also quite accepting of it now - and just want a scan tomorrow to confirm it either way

We were about to tell my family tonight so quite sad...but I'm glad we didn't now

We were so close but I'm still happy that we even got a BFP(!) First ever - so it can happen

Maybe this wasn't our time 😔

Hope all you lovely ladies get your good news soon and those who are pregnant have a smooth pregnancy xxx

[Tugsgirl]

I had really hoped this had just been a horrible little blip. I’m really sorry if you’re experiencing a miscarriage. I still obviously hope you aren’t. Thinking of you xx

[Saya85 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Me too..... I wish I had been home and could have tested straight away

But I was so annoyed that I wasn't able to have a night off to relax and enjoy it

What will be will be

[Lisaworthy1981]

I really hoped it had just been a blip for you too, hopefully things will prove you wrong tomorrow!! Thinking of you 😘 xx

[Saya85 in reply to Lisaworthy1981]

Thanks Hun

We'll find out tomorrow I guess x

[Lisaworthy1981 in reply to Saya85]

Let me know how you get on, will be thinking of you xxx

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. I had a chemical pregnancy last year & it was so heartbreaking. Rest assured it was nothing you did wrong; if it was going to go wrong it would happen whatever you did. I bed rested but didn’t prevent my miscarriage.

I would urge you to contact your GP first thing & they can refer you to the early pregnancy unit. Any bleeding in pregnancy should never be ignored.

I have had red bleeding with clots with this pregnancy & my baby is fine, so you can bleed in early pregnancy and be fine! I also bled with my son at 7 weeks like a period & lost so much blood I thought I had lost him.

Really hope you are one of the ladies that have a bleed & baby is fine 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 xoxo

[Saya85 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Jess

I was remaining quite level headed about it - prepared for both

The pregnancy test today probably shows the levels are dropping

But maybe it is a false test and we'll get our little miracle tomorrow

I've known so many ladies that bleed heavily so I know it could go either way

[Hidden in reply to Saya85]

Thinking of you and wishing you well ❤️❤️❤️xoxo

[hoping-for-the-best]

I’m so very sorry that you’re going through this 😔 it’s awful getting that positive and finally allowing yourself to believe it, just to have it all snatched away. I too have seen that fading result on a clear blue so know how devastating it is. Thinking of you and keeping my fingers tightly crossed xxx

[Saya85 in reply to hoping-for-the-best]

Thank you xx

[kt_11]

Really sorry that you’re going through this. Will be thinking of you and hoping you get better news than you’re expecting at your scan xx

[Saya85 in reply to kt_11]

Thank you x

[baby2016]

Oh no 😭😭 i really hope this is not the case, and your scan shows your little one there still. However if this is not the case please don't blame yourself in anyway, no matter if you had been on permanent bedrest if its sadly not meant to be nothing will change that. Thinking of you for tomrrow xx

[Saya85 in reply to baby2016]

Thank you

Everyone keeps saying I should be resting and why am I overdoing it

But it's in my nature to just get on with things - I haven't been excessive I've just been walking and driving (!)

If it isn't meant to be it isn't

It's just a shame that I always stay cautious but when I finally let go and believe it ends up wrong

[Anya80 in reply to Saya85]

Oh dear hun, if it not meant to be even you will be super cautious you won’t stop it. Please don’t blame yourself for it, it’s really not your fault. I do hope however you are one of those ladies who bleed and your baby will be fine 😘thinking of you and sending lots of cuddles, it’s difficult time for you xxx

[Saya85 in reply to Anya80]

Thank you Anya

I wasn't sure if I should post or anything especially didn't want to bring anyone down or get them worried about their own symptoms

But I just feel like I wanted to address it before we find out tomorrow

I believe I may have overtired myself but I don't think that's the cause of it. So much is subjective

Would be so happy if it's just a blip

[baby2016 in reply to Saya85]

So sorry to read your update 😭 try and keep positive for 2019....sending a huge hug your way xx

[Nancy001]

I’m sorry to hear about this Saya. But you already know what the digital test can do!

It drives people crazy!!!!!!! I did urine test this morning and I promised myself never to do it again as I saw 2-3 weeks ...😌

But because you mentioned blood clots please go to the nearest EPU tomorrow and find out what’s going on.

Like I said yesterday I work at EPU; I’ve seen a lot cases like this and the embryo is doing really great!

I mean big clots... and it’s no way near the baby.

Sometimes it might haemorrhage outside the uterus and it will continue coming out until it’s finished.

Some women don’t even bleed at all as the body reabsorbed it.

So finger crossed 🤞 for you my love. Go get your scan done tomorrow for rest of mind.

I wish you good luck on this journey. This will be the one for you saya! Your effort will not be waisted 🙏🏻

Just know that I am thinking about you xx

[Saya85 in reply to Nancy001]

Thank you Nancy

Yes I know the test could be wrong cos urine was really diluted too....

I don't know- I'm preparing either way but I know it could easily be positive

But at least the test is also preparing me for worst

Yes the hospital don't scan over weekend so will have to wait to tomorrow

[Kari55]

I’m so sorry this is happening, this must be so stressful 🙁 Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hopefully everything is still ok though I understand you are very worried xx

[Saya85 in reply to Kari55]

Thank you.... I'm.surorisingly calm about it - I think it's the worst has happened and so what will be will be

If it doesn't work then I know what I have to do next cycle and at least I know it can happen and the protocol I'm on is mostly good

So there's some comfort in it

[Kari55 in reply to Saya85]

You are doing amazing by keeping calm. And you are right, whatever happened, happened and nothing will change it. It is certainly very positive in terms of the next cycle. Big hugs xx

[Core]

So sorry to read this, hoping it’s not what you think xx

[Saya85 in reply to Core]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

Oh that must have been horrible being away from home bleeding heavily and feeling terrible. Even tho you’ve been doing pregnancy tests hcg can remain in you body for a little while I’d ring EPU tell them what’s happened and you’ve still got positive tests they should scan u to make sure firstly if you’ve actually mc and if there’s pregnancy tissues left.

Big hugs xx

[Saya85 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks

Yes I called 111 but they couldn't do anything over weekend

Will ring gp for EpU referral and contact IVF clinic for early scan too

[Georgie17]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do go and get a scan done when you can just so that you can have a better idea of what's going on. I had a miscarriage earlier this year and it is awful so I know your pain and the distress it brings. I am thinking of you xx

[Saya85 in reply to Georgie17]

I'm sorry to hear you went through this too

It was awful as so painful and heavy bleeding and hour away from home but today I feel better

It's started bleeding more heavily again so I don't know. Will see about scan tomorrow

[Kiedy84]

Oh Saya, I am sorry you are going through this. Sending lots of love xx

[Saya85 in reply to Kiedy84]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

Oh no!! Sending prayers your way 💕💕💕💕

[MissSaoPaulo]

So sorry to hear this hon. Stay strong xxx

[Cinderella5]

Oh my love I am hoping you are wrong...think of you & sending my love!!xx

[Materialbarbie]

Thinking of you both! Hope the scan does go okay and it’s just one of those things! Take it easy and look after yourself xxxx

[Hidden]

Got everything crossed it’s just a blip and scan shows all ok. Sending hugs and luck xx

[kumkums]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Hoping it's just one of those things and your little one is still there safe and sound. Please take good care of yourself.

[Saya85 in reply to kumkums]

Thank you.... We're on our way to EPU now but I don't think it's good news

I can barely even feel any soreness around my boobs and I have no tightness stretching pulling around my womb like I have last two weeks.....

I feel completely normal.....and not pregnant 😔

I'll keep everyone updated later.....

[Cinderella5 in reply to Saya85]

Everything crossed for You!😔🤞xx

[Lisaworthy1981 in reply to Saya85]

Everything crossed for you xxx

[Hidden]

Good luck I hope it goes better than you expect it to . Will be thinking of you xoxo

[Hidden]

Fingers crossed for you x

[Hidden]

So sorry to read your update. 😢Know where we are if you need to chat xoxo

[Hidden]

I’m sorry saya85 much love to you xx

[Cinderella5]

Im so sorry Saya! Totally gutted for you hun, so unfair!!💔😢xxx

[Barbara1012]

So sorry to read this Saya - really unfair. Look after yourself xx

[Ebonynelly]

So sorry dear. Sending hugs to you..

[MissSaoPaulo]

I'm so sorry hon. Big glass of wine for you tonight and I hope 2019 brings better news for you xxx

[Hidden]

I'm so so sorry to read your updates, hope your ok and thinking of you xx

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this lovely - sending hugs xx

[Materialbarbie]

Sorry to hear that! Think of you both at this time❤️❤️❤️Xxxx

[hoping-for-the-best]

I’m so very sorry. Life can really dish it out sometimes... Thinking of you xxx

[Kyell2]

I’m so sorry to read that today was bad news.

Look after yourself xx

[magda22]

Oh I'm so sorry, Saya. This is so tough, I'mso sorry you had to experience it. I'm thinking of you and sending love xx

[Saya85]

Thank you all ladies

I feel strong and positive for next time and truly think this was my wake up call to sort out a few things with my health to support a pregnancy and may truly not have been our time

It would have been lovely but I am still over the moon that we even got pregnant

Maybe it was a chromosomal issue with these embryos or maybe it was side effects from.drugs like high blood sugar's

Whatever it is I think I know what I have to do and am raring to again.

I just hate the way it happened and as I was so far away from home. You can't help but feel you made it worse or overdid it even though I know it's not necessarily the case

You're all an inspiration and hope you have a wonderful new year whatever your situation xxx

[aamiller405]

Aw no very sorry youre going through this..sending love xo

[Beechnut1]

So sorry to hear this. I really feel your pain. Take care of yourself xxx

[Enaj51]

Sorry to hear this. Look after yourself.

[Paris1771]

Hi lovely Saya

Sorry that Im writing to u this late! We’ve been on travel to London for Christmas and didnt check a lot so I missed your post! Soooo sorry for your mc but as u said it feels good that u could get pregnant at least and for sure next time they will do more medications to treat u well with a healthy pregnancy! Wish u all the best in world and sending u baby dusts and hugs! xxxxxx

[Saya85 in reply to Paris1771]

Aw thank you for your sweet message

I'm still bleeding and just can't wait for it to stop so I can move on.

Just anxious to get back to health and work out what we could do differently next time

Just hope we are lucky to get a BFP next time and make it stick..... Each cycle we get closer and closer !

Wishing you luck and baby dust for your cycle too x

[Paris1771 in reply to Saya85]

Your welcome dear! Yes I completely understand what u feel! Maybe u can take a pause a little bit and then focus on the new cycle!

My fingers r crossed for u on your next cycle that get your lucky one! Take care and hope the bleeding stops as soon as possible!

Xxxxxx