So today I was brave!

[AnnieAnnie]

You know that question that you dread..... "so you will be having children soon won't you?" Is that a question you are asking or telling? So today I was brave and when confronted with this "question", I actually said no I won't be next. As much as I am pleased for my sil and her conceiving her second pregnancy in half the time we've been trying, as much as I want a child, nope I'm not having one and probably can't. That's not to say it will never happen but at the moment (And for all of the 6 years of ttc) that's the way it feels. So when the unsuspecting person in all their happy glory says "Oh don't you want children?" "Well yes I do but I CAN'T!", I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I just don't want you to ask stupid questions. She wasn't expecting that answer! But they never are! xx

[Hidden]

Well done. Xx

[Hidden]

Brilliant well done. I hate the fact that we are always asked these questions OR when going through treatment and not drinking alcohol people assume your pregnant and start questioning you. Why can’t people be more sensitive

XX

[Foodie23 in reply to Hidden]

I couldn’t agree more. The worst is when they suspect I’m pregnant because I’m not drinking and question me about it.

[kirstyblue in reply to Foodie23]

I had this a few weeks ago! Got the “is there something you want to tell us...” speech! I ended up snapping at my friends boyfriend. Was getting sick of everyone drawing attention to the fact that I wasn’t drinking and thinking more into it than needed. Actually I wasn’t drinking because I’m staying healthy during ivf but what would they know about lol xx

[AnnieAnnie in reply to Hidden]

Yep always seems to be the way! I'm fed up saying I don't want children to make others feel ok about asking me rather than telling them I do want children but I can't and making them feel awkward asking me the question. She did apologise and I said to her why would you know, people particularly her era naturally assume everyone can have children and it's the next step after marriage but it's becoming more the norm is this day and age for there to be more people struggling. Let's hope she can be more sensitive going forward xx

[Lucylu_88]

Good for you. You sounded very dignified. I hope she was embarrassed for asking such a personal question so rudely xx

[AnnieAnnie in reply to Lucylu_88]

I tried to be but also didn't want her to feel to bad but also wanted her to know that it's not right to ask questions of people xx

[AS100]

I know the dread! 😏 and many of the stupid questions!! Well done for being brave ❤️💪 I think I’ve only done that once, but maybe it’s the way forward!! Xx

[AnnieAnnie in reply to AS100]

Thank you! I feel better after giving that answer than I do if I tell someone I don't want children or not yet xx

[Hidden]

Good for you that will teach them - perhaps that’ll someone else from having that question asked.

I have said that to someone before & it’s hilarious to watch them back peddle!!! It’s such a rude question & none of any business. If a couple doesn’t have children it’s either they don’t want any or can’t have children- I would never dream to ask anyone. xoxo

[Shirazlover2013]

I worship your bravery and kickass-ery!!

[AnnieAnnie in reply to Shirazlover2013]

Haha thank you! I've been married for 8 years and so im often asked - it's the thing you do once married! I'm fed up with hiding. And as they saying goes, don't ask if you dont want to hear the truth xx

[Shirazlover2013 in reply to AnnieAnnie]

So true. People just don’t think, there’s so many life milestone topics that need sensitive thought. You’re helping that person grow and learn and in turn saving the next person from suffering the same fate.

I’ve found the longer my infertility battles go on the more I’ve wanted to tell people about them. I used to keep it private and hidden but it wasn’t doing me any good. So I’ve told quite a few of my friends now and I feel better for it.

[Babyblues1]

Well done for being so brave! 👏🏻👍🏻 xx

[AnnieAnnie in reply to Babyblues1]

Thank you xx

[MrsDornan]

Amazing - we should all have more courage to do this x

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I always said “I/we haven’t been able to yet”.

It seems to work well as a response for me. There’s no way I was ever going to pretend I didn’t want kids.

[MrsE29]

Good for you! Xx

[TeenyTiny]

Good for you 👍 need to start being a bit braver myself xx

[runsoncuddles]

Bravo 👏🏾✨✨

[AJJ123]

I hate those questions. The only thing I can say back is ‘one day’. If I don’t know them that well they don’t deserve the full explanation.

The worst so far is ‘you should have another child, your kids will be beautiful’ i’m stood there thinking I can’t, I can’t have kids I don’t work anymore. The times I’ve felt broken and useless and it’s not their fault. These comments come from people (I’ve had from both sexes) who have never struggled to conceive.

I’ve tried for four years and I’ve miscarried on first cycle.

I don’t want to give up but it’s coming to a point where I’m feeling like it’s not going to happen and I think I probably should move on.

Xx

[NCS88]

Hi AnnieAnnie - I think a lot of people can relate to this, thank you for venting! Do you listen to podcasts? I’d recommend Alice Rose - fertility liferaft podcast. She has a #twnts campaign (think what not to say) or something like that and she’s brilliant. Sending love xx

[Newqgirl1]

😂 I’ve done that a few times! People never really know how to take it but soon gets them out my hair!!