IVF fertility treatment success 'caus... - Fertility Network UK
IVF fertility treatment success 'causes fall in adoptions'
Hmmmm don't like the fact that just because we are going through ivf it's asummed we are going to adopt if it fails 😒 certainly not the case for me.
That’s exactly what I felt; why people who are going or have gone through IVF should be directly targeted. It’s ppl’s choice; one might not have a child, but not wanting to adopt. Another might have 5 and still ready and love to adopt!
I saw this too.
As if we don’t feel guilty enough by not being able to have a baby easily, now we are basically guilty for the decrease of adoption rates.
It made me feel sad and a bit marginalised 🙁
I think that the that fact that adoption has fallen is not only due to the IVF success. It is assumed wrongly that people who don’t have kids would always want to adopt. I think that there are significant changes happening in the society and a lot of people don’t want have kids for various reasons. It is interesting but it is certainly wrong to blame it on the IVF success. Thanks for sharing xx
We looked into adoption and where we live we were certainly put off with the current open procedure. And as others have said, wanting to give birth to your child doesn't automatically follow you will adopt instead if IVF fails.
Many of the kids must have regular contact with the birth parents and family, in the case where they are criminals and drug addicts, that's pretty daunting to a middle class family from the suburbs. Also while things have got a little better, cases like the recent death of the baby killed by one of the parents of an adopted couple have put these agencies in an impossible position- they have to really check out people, very very closely and it takes time to do this in cash starved councils , so if its going to take over a year, sometimes longer.
In other countries, adoption is closed, giving the child a chance to fully integrate into the new family, as they get older they can write letters if they wish, and the info on their mother and family is kept for them, but the birth family cannot barge in and out of their lives, which often happens in the UK and puts prospective families off in their droves.
Pleased to see this shared and read other people’s thoughts, which are similar to mine 😣 we went to an adoption info evening the other night as I’d hoped it would be an “alternative” for us. Sadly it made me feel sadder and put off ☹️ we’d have to have finished treatment for 6 months plus, get “work experience” before starting the process and it could take 2-3 years to have a child placed. It sounded like another very very difficult process, after years of infertility struggles, a massively daunting process for many reasons- none really to do with looking after the child at the end. Which is all I want- to be a mother to a child xxx
Every time adoption is mentioned it opens up a whole can of worms. Instead of blaming ivf success rates (which as we all know aren’t that high) perhaps the whole process of adoption should be made a bit easier and that way more children would get new families xx
Wow. I read this earlier and was a bit shocked at the lame attempt to blame so called increasing IVF success for reduced adoption rates.
Firstly, IVF average success rates have actually been around the same for many many years. Listen to Robert Winston on that very subject.
Secondly - with increased welfare options for younger parents, and the recent trend for fetishing of motherhood - young (healthy) mums no longer give up their children for adoption because they have increased support and far less 'shame' for out of wedlock pregnancy, than in previous decades (when healthy babies could be adopted). Many children up for adoption now are from very damaged backgrounds. It is heartbreaking.
Third - social welfare systems get heavily involved in parents struggling, many through addiction, and adoption rules have changed hugely - with contact needed for life (which is only right) but making it hard for the children in need and the new families to make a clean break. It puts many people off.
Fourthly - and most important - adoption should not be the sole responsibility of those of us who are infertile and cannot get pregnant naturally. In fact, I would argue that families with children already, may well be better placed to adopt. They aren't depressed from years of infertility, and already know what it takes to raise children.
So in my view, this article is trying to manipulate the infertile community into feeling guilty for having to do IVF and failing to adopt. Absolutely shameful and shocking and the message has failed on me. I am not that naive. So i'd advise us all to ignore this unless adoption is something you want, which is great. Bit it's not for us all. I suffer chronic pain and no adoption agency would have allowed me to adopt - they'd have judged me instead. So I had to do IVF.
xxxx
Very well said xxx
I saw this article too. This does make me feel guilty. I have always found the thought of the adoption process really daunting 🙁
I think you guys have raised really really interesting and valid points here and perhaps you should email the contact at the bottom of the article to share them XX
Hey Sherry and all of you, if reading - the "ADOPTION CRISIS CAUSED BY IVF" - is about to be on ITV news. WTH! Really terrible they are dong this. Don't get me wrong, I am all for adoption (have adopted extended family) but this is wrong. xxx
Seeing this on the news annoyed and upset me. It places the blame of low adoption rates on those struggling with fertility but why should it be solely their responsibility to adopt? People who don't struggle with fertility can adopt too. Adoption isn't right for everyone and people definitely shouldn't do it because they've been guilted into it! My husband and I spoke about adoption and IVF and decided that if IVF didn't work, adoption wasn't for us. I think they need to look at the process and system first (it was this that put us off adoption) before blaming people who can't conceive naturally.
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