I do hope this post doesn't upset anyone but just wanted to share the hope that miracles can happen, though I'm kinda in disbelief myself!
After over 5 years of ttc, invasive procedures, being diagnosed with a low ovarian reserve, ivf, miscarriage and wondering if it would ever be I tested this morning as my af was late.
I prepared myself as usual with the aside of, af is late, that's it, you'll just have to accept this is the start of menopause, then low and behold, 2 lines appeared in the test window. My heart was bumping and I fell to my knees and wept as I just couldn't believe this was happening to me, especially as during all the stress of finishing the house renovation and moving I've had little sleep, caffeine and enough rubbish food to sink a battleship!
I took another test thinking it must have been a fluke and sure enough, it came out positive too!
It's fair to say today has been filled with shocked and teary exchanges and utter gratitude for whatever power has afforded us this miracle. It really hasn't sunk in yet and I keep waiting for someone to tell me it isn't real.
It's strange though that my intuition has told me to hold off ivf and I'm glad we did. We are due to start again in January but am praying to God that all this is real, that I sustain this pregnancy and we don't need to.
I guess what I want to say is that each and every one of us should never lose faith in our dreams, which I admit I have been guilty of.
Today has given me faith that we can all achieve parenthood in one way or another and the meaning will be all the deeper for the battle we have fought to get there.
Love and babydust to all xxx
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Pookymama
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Thank you jo! I can't get my head around someone even saying that to me at this point, ya know, like it's something said to someone else... madness! Xx
Ooo I remember you posting about before/after Christmas as you were having a dilemma, congratulations! Some things are just meant to be and I really hope this is your time xxx
Wow wow wow, I remember reading your post a while ago wondering about putting the IVF off for a bit because of your house renovations and food prep/sleep/stress/etc and now you’re pregnant!!!! Amazing! Congratulations! 💕 🤰 ✨👼🏻 xxx
I know, I just can't believe it! It's like something was urging me to wait. If this has taught me anything it's to trust my instinct and have some faith! How're things with you shiny? Xx
Yes I definitely believe this, everything happens for a reason and we should listen to our guardian angels, they know what’s best for us 👼🏻 💕
Things are OK with me, I’m just hangin in there waiting for Friday test day. I’ve been pretty rough this week with OHSS so back to the clinic for scans and bloods etc but starting to feel a bit better since this afternoon.
Just keeping as busy as I can, continuing doing my relaxation and mindfulness work and trying to stay positive.
Congratulations again, I really am absolutely over the moon for you xxx
How're you feeling after your OHSS hun? And how did Friday go?
Mindfulness and relaxation are so helpful along this often difficult path aren't they hun!
I hope and pray Friday went well for you, but if you didn't get the news you wanted, please be gentle and kind with yourself and allow yourself the time you need until your very own "meant to be" time comes along.
Big hugs xx
This is amazing. Aww Pookymana I’m so happy for you. Congratulations! We both cried when got our BFP. Don’t be sorry to post, stories of hope are needed. ❤️ Enjoy this moment it so magical & special. All the best with your pregnancy 🤰🏼 xoxo 😘
Thank you so much Jess! It is incredibly emotional isn't it? I just keep filling up, smiling to myself and touching my belly - am somewhere between waves of magic and disbelief. I'll believe it more when we get the blood work at the docs I guess but for now I'm convincing myself 2 tests can't be false positives and at 35 I'm pregnant naturally for the first time and that's a massive leap where I haven't been before so I'm grateful for that.
It’s wonderful news & no false positives don’t happen much more likely to get a false negative ( unless you have a trigger shot of HCG) I kept staring at the test & couldn’t believe how lucky we were! It’s the best feeling in the world 😍
I am good thank you, I’m 9 weeks pregnant & we had our first booking appointment with the midwife. It was very surreal after TTC over 7 years!!! We are now awaiting our 12 weeks scan , quite nervous as we had a chemical pregnancy last year & got bad news at the 6 week scan. Hopefully the scan will reassure us all is fine 😍 xoxo
I bet it was surreal with the midwife after waiting all that time! It felt surreal booking our first midwife appointment yesterday too!
When you've been through so much it is nerve-wracking waiting for first scans that so many are able to take for granted as just a wee step, I know what you mean. We lost our pregnancy after our 1st attempt at ivf so we never feel quite safe til each positive milestone makes the fear drop away.
We were at the cinema last night and towards the end of the film I felt (sorry tmi) a gush of fluid. I felt dizzy and sick and really panicked I was bleeding but discovered it was just clear fluid which apparently occurs due to increased estrogen. We were meant to be going to a wedding tonight but have decided to take it gently instead as morning sickness and fatigue have kicked in too and we want to play it safe and rest up.
Have you had any symptoms yet hun? How're you doing?
I hope your scan reassures you that everything is progressing well lovely and that this is your time! Xxx 😘
Massive luck to you for the next stages then hun! I know how scary it can be but also that this could be your moment! Keep believing beaut! Xx
Ohhh what an amazing post. I am so happy that you have achieved this without having to go down the ivf route. I wish you a happy and successful pregnancy and thank you so much for sharing xxc
Thank you Camillage! I can't quite believe it tbh, after previous ivf and thinking it would never happen I guess we all have that chance! How're things with you? Xx
We’ve not started treatment yet. Waiting for my next period to call the clinic and get started.. but I think we’ll be postponed until after Christmas.. I can’t wait, honestly.
Thank you. I haven't been on the site very much as after my 2nd round of ivf and 2nd BFN a few weeks ago i just really havent been mentally well. My clinical has said I can start straight away on my 2 day 6 remaining frosties (Was told success rates aren't as high on day 6 embies) but I said I wait would wait till follow up with my doctor...which is today in a few hours. My heart is saying just wait a couple months until I'm feeling better mentally and just feel stronger was thinking January. But my head is saying just start now and get it over with! (I'm in a very negative mindset right now that these 2 will fail also then that's it for us) so I shall listen to my heart and tell my doctor today to wait a couple months sometime in the new year. So thank you so much! And a big massive congratulations to you!! I remember your post and i remember you asking for advice. You must be over the moon! I am so happy that you now dont have to go through another physically and emotionally crippling round of ivf! Am so happy for you 😘❤🙌
So sorry to hear about this, I can imagine how you feel. Take it one step at a time, you need to be very mentally ready and fit to embark on the process again. I wish you all the very best
Thank you. My appt went well and even my doctor agreed that a nice break over Xmas is exactly what I need 😊 huge congrats to you, I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months! 😘 xxx
Oh Niki, sounds like you've had such an awful time. It can all be so cruel and debilitating to take can't it!
I can empathise with feeling mentally unwell around ivf, there were massively low periods I didn't think I'd be able to pick myself back up. I had counselling and was off work for 3 months.
We definitely need to take extra care of ourselves at such sensitive times where all our hopes, dreams and energies are in the balance.
I think listening to your instinct on this and taking some time to recover is really wise as we definitely need some time to repair and regain our strength after such physical and emotional knocks.
Be gentle with yourself lovely. Maybe consider some counselling and therapeutic/holistic self-care like yoga and mindfulness to get you back in tune with your body.
I hope your appointment went well and that your positive outcome is just around the corner.
Thank you. Yes both my doctor and I agreed a wee break is a good idea 😊 so I will start my first FET in january i think. Its just coming into summer here in new zealand so I shall enjoy the weather and Xmas and just do me for once 😊 thank you for your kind words xxx
Aw, I'm glad you're taking some time out for you, you fully deserve the relief and peace of being away from it all for a while. I'm sure it'll do you good! And hey, my instinct told me to wait til January too and look what happened here so you never know!
Either way, sounds like you have a good plan to enjoy the weather and Christmas and just be free to be you.
Thank you! Yes, unbelievably it was a natural conception after trying for 5 years, low ovarian reserve diagnosis and failed ivf cycles! Guess we have to keep believing as this could happen to us all! How're things with you hun? Xx
Congratulations. God be praised, this is good news. I pray the pregnancy continues perfectly and you get to hold and grow your little one in Jesus' name.
Pookymama, congratulations! it happened when you least expected it. God tests our patience to see how much blind faith we have in him. Everything happens for a reason. I pray you have a healthy and happy pregnancy🙏. You deserve it.
Everyone TTC deserves it, your time will come. Just dont give up.
Aw, thank you for your lovely message! You're quite right about God testing our patience. I'd kinda lost my faith but we're going to church tonight to thank God.
I pray for your every success and all our successes too for as you say, we all deserve for our very own miracles to come! Xx
I know! Think because of all we go through to get there we often believe things like this only happen to other people, but I guess it's worth having faith afterall! How're things with you? Xx
Ah nervously waiting for my 12 weeks scan although I’m 13 now, it’s later this week. So nervous but I’m sure you know what that feels like. It’s because we want it so much ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Aw, thank you London, felt a bit uncertain posting in case it upset anyone but I've always loved seeing stories like this too as it gave me hope to keep believing! Best wishes to you too xx
Well it's been so hard to scope because after my BFN I had about 7-9 persons who are close to me like family is pregnant even my lil brother is having a baby so it's been rough. Moving forward in hope to try it again because I had sum leftoverstuff from the fresh tranfer.
Oh noo, I'm sorry you find yourself in a not great place hun. This journey is so cruel and feels never ending sometimes doesn't it. If you ever want to talk I'm here ok. And I pray for your miracle to come. Big hugs xx
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