New to this: Hi all, after reading so... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

51,957 members57,460 posts

New to this

Doglover7866 profile image
13 Replies

Hi all, after reading so many of your posts I had to join. We are struggling like so many of you and although my partner has been amazing I still feel like no one understands. I feel so lonely and down all the time. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one feeling like this.

We have been trying for over 7 years. Had three failed IVF cycles and on the brink of giving up I think.

XX

Written by
Doglover7866 profile image
Doglover7866
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
13 Replies
Dunla profile image
Dunla

Hi there. I’m so sorry to hear you and your partner have been having such a difficult time. You’ve had a long and painful journey so far. We’ve also been trying for seven years with no success and feel as though we are reaching the end of the line in terms of fertility treatment. It’s very hard to come to terms with. However I have found this forum such a help. Before I joined I felt completely alone. It really does help to hear from and share your experiences with others who have gone through the same things you have and completely understand. I really hope you will find comfort and support here too xxx

Doglover7866 profile image
Doglover7866 in reply to Dunla

Hi Dunla, thank you for your response. I really hope so too. I’m sorry to hear you’re in the same situation. The trouble is I don’t want to believe this is the end of the line. What do you do next?

Dunla profile image
Dunla in reply to Doglover7866

I know. We might have one more go left with donor eggs. We have also been reading a bit online about adoption and talked about it a little. I just feel really overwhelmed by the prospect of possibly starting on that road next...

Doglover7866 profile image
Doglover7866 in reply to Dunla

It’s scary though. You never imagine having to think about things like this. Adoption is an amazing thing to do. I’ve thought about IUI. We went straight to IVF (PGD) due to a defective gene I have. We don’t actually know why we can’t get pregnant. We have never been and so far it’s unexplainable.

Dunla profile image
Dunla in reply to Doglover7866

That must be very hard for you and your partner.

Yes, it’s all very scary! Didn’t think for a moment that this would be my reality but here I am! Xx

genten profile image
genten

So glad you found us!

Sounds like you have had a long hard road so far.

You're definitely not alone with feeling like this. Feeling down and alone are totally normal feelings here unfortunately and most ladies here would agree.

I've found this forum a great place to get info and support and I hope we can offer the same to you. Even if I don't post myself, I come here and read other people stories and have lots of my own questions answered.

Please reach out to us whenever you need to. xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Welcome to the family! This forum has been a great support for me whilst undergoing treatment and in between. Not sure if I would have any sanity left without it! I undesrtand how you feel to be on the brink, we've had 3 failed full cycles (2 failed transfers) then 2 failed DE transfers, it really does get you down sometimes!xx

Welcome, we are all here for each other and it is a great place for support amongst all the hormones, ups and downs. Sometimes it keeps us grounded when we feel we are falling over the edge, or just going slightly crazy (we all do at some point).

What a journey you have had so far. It is very very hard to keep going and in the meantime time ticks on. Wishing you all the very best with your next move.

I have had 3 failed own egg cycles, 1 failed DE, one DE which ended anembryonic and about to have my third DE transfer.

Ask any questions you like - there is a mix of experience here.

Good luck xxx

Doglover7866 profile image
Doglover7866

Thanks for that. It really does make a difference having people who understand the specific kind of pain I’m feeling. And the fact that you are willing to talk and discuss is amazing. There is still so much I don’t understand. I think the hardest thing for me has been feeling like a failure, how do you keep going with treatment. What spurs you on? I struggle with having hope and then getting the phone call to say none are viable or going for a scan to find you only have a couple of eggs ready for collection,

genten profile image
genten

There will be lots of things you come across that you won't have heard of, it really is one big never ending lesson, hopefully some of here and Diane can answers questions you have, along with your clinic of course.

I keep going on the journey as I long to be a mum so badly. I never thought I would not be able to have children. I just believe that it will happen one day and I will get the most precious gift to love and care for along with DH.

xxx

Doglover7866 profile image
Doglover7866 in reply to genten

I love how positive you are. Please send some my way. Xx

genten profile image
genten in reply to Doglover7866

🤗 You will get there. Xxx

booboo80 profile image
booboo80

I am in the same situation to you and i completely feel your pain. We have been trying since 2012 and had 3 ivf failures and i don't think i can go through another one. We have no identifiable issues other than i'm a low responder to the stims so only ever get about 5 eggs. All you hear is people telling you to keep going, but i spoke to someone this week who said giving up trying was the best decision she ever made. She felt her life had blossomed since making the decision to stop. I think that ivf is particular kind of hell that leaves you disconnected, a social pariah, feeling like a failure and emotionally eats away at you. The worst part for me is the hope, the hope that it might happen next time, just one more try. It keeps you hooked. Everyone has an anecdote about how someone they know ended up pregnant, with meditation, acupuncture, pineapple, crystals, prayer. What about the anecdote about the ladies who go onto lead happy fulfilled lives anyway! I think its so important to be positive, but do it for your own mental health and comfort and if you feel negative and miserable thats ok too. So much of what you read online makes you think that being positive is some magical elixir that will manifest a baby. It makes me cross because it makes you ashamed of feelings that are completely natural. It's alright to be sad about a situation that is crap. IVF SUCKS. I think adoption is a wonderful thing to do, i might explore that next too. But then again, i might also explore taking back some control (brexit lol) and owning my amazing life with my brilliant husband without having to deal with baby shit and losing my career? Much love to all who are finding this tough, we are all amazing women. :)

You may also like...

New

which they drained. I was give the 6 cycles of Clomid and that also failed. The doctor told me in...

New and overwhelmed...

suprecur of a standard IVF cycle, we only get one go on the NHS locally. I can't really think ahead...

New

Me and my husband have been TTC for 3 years. We are under fertility and been told I might have...

New to this

.last May I started my first IVF cycle and 6 embryos fertilised, I had 5 frozen and 1 put back which

New here! Advice please

about this. I have read all the information I can find surrounding IVF but I still feel very...