Update: Heartbeat but not viable 💔

[2-shades-of-hope]

Hi everyone. I posted last Friday after I found out that our embryo was not viable due to its small size, despite having a strong heartbeat. This last week has been incredibly painful, knowing it was dying but not if it was dead. Today I had another scan and it is still alive, still clinging to life despite a slower heartbeat and it has actually become even smaller. So we know for certain it is dying but have an ongoing wait until it does. I’m nearly 9 weeks. I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who offered support and advice last week and update you as promised. This is a tough journey we’re all on. Xx

[Masha111]

Hi. I must be the only one not at work. So sorry for what you are going through hun. It must be an awful time for you guys. It was so heartbreaking to read one can only imagine how you must be feeling. No words can change things but I hope you are around loved ones for support and that you are recieving counselling. Take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself. Thank you for the update and sending you super big hugs and lots of love. Women going through ivf are so desperate to have a family thats its double the grief and sadness when it doesnt work out. I pray you find the strength to get through this. Please dont give up hope. A lot of women on here are alot stronger than you think. They come back as fighters....fighting to have the family they so desire. You will be a mum xxxx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Masha111]

Thank you Masha. You are right. This whole process definitely makes you stronger and hopefully we will be better mums because of it xx

[Hidden]

Just wanted to stop and say so sorry to hear what you are going through.

Sending you huge hugs, sorry I have no wise words xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Hidden]

Thank you x

[Cinderella5]

Im so sorry that you've not had better news! So sad for you, big hugs!xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you x

[strong-girl]

So sorry for your loss but u r strong and never lose hope x

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to strong-girl]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

My heart goes out to you ❤️ Sending so much love xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Hidden]

Thank you x

[Leo2017]

So sorry to hear what you’re going through!! This really is so unbelievably cruel!! 💔 sending luv n strength!! xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Leo2017]

Thank you x

[Esme78]

I am so sorry to hear your sad news and will be thinking of you over the coming days. x

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Esme78]

Thank you x

[TRYING2016]

Hello, i hope you are ok. I have no reassuring words just sympathy and lots of hugs and love. It is a heartbreaking time and you need to take all the time you need to grieve it is a painful process. You will get through it but in your own time. In the mean time you have us here and we will support you just as your family will. What a heartbreaking journey, its hard enough to get pregnant and have it snatched away from you is so painful 😢. Lots of hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to TRYING2016]

Thank you. That’s really kind of you xx

[Hidden]

No words for this huge loss. I’m so sorry for what you are going through 💔😢 xoxo

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Hidden]

Thank you x

[magda22]

So heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. Sending much love to you xxxx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to magda22]

Thank you x

[baby2016]

I’m so so sorry to read this 😢 I was really hoping there was a glimmer of hope for you. I hope your off work at the moment and this is truly tragic what you are going through. Sending you a huge hug xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to baby2016]

Thank you. I’m signed off for the moment as I really don’t think I’d have the patience to be at work right now x

[baby2016 in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

Glad your signed off. I ended up having 6wks off when it happened to me both times. I needed the time just to be alone and try and come to terms with what had happened. Don’t go back till your ready. Thinking of you xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to baby2016]

Thank you. That’s made me feel better to know I’m not the only one needing time off. Sorry you’ve had to go through that. Hope things are working out better now xx

[silverlini]

I’m so sorry to hear this. What an awful experience for you 😞 hold in there you are doing an amazing job xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to silverlini]

Thank you x

[Klndmr]

Don't know what to say really... Im so so sorry for what's happening to you... I can't even imagine how you feel right now... sensing you millions hugs and remember we don't know each other but we are all here for each other 💓💓💓💓 Will keep you in my thoughts 💓💓💓💓

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Klndmr]

Thank you, that’s really kind of you. X

[genten]

I'm heartbroken for you.

It just seems so cruel.

I've not been in your shoes and I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

No others words really except to say that you are in my thoughts. Xxx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to genten]

Thank you that’s really nice of you to say xx

[genten in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

💖💖

[Lou7744]

I’m so sorry to read this. It’s truly heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you x

[Melissa11]

I can’t imagine the pain you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your partner. Take care of each other. Xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Melissa11]

Thank you x

[Luna11]

I’m so sorry to read this. Lots of love xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Luna11]

Thank you x

[Abaco]

I feel so desperately sad reading this, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through at the moment, this journey is so unbelievably cruel at times, thinking of you xxx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Abaco]

Thank you x

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

😢 this is so awful for you, I’m so sorry xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thank you x

[busygirl]

I actually have just gone through something similar. Spent four weeks waiting , knowing the embryo wasn’t going to make it. Measuring small and behind, heartbeat getting slower with each week and just hoping that some miracle would happen and I would luck out. I think that was the worst part, that tiny bit of hope that it would be ok and it wasn’t. I am now twelve weeks since my loss and it gets easier, you get use to it and start to want to move on faster so you can try again, because we are that strong we want to not give up and that tiny hope that killed you when it went wrong will become that tiny hope that drives u try again and not give up.

Sending u hug and letting u are not alone ❤️

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to busygirl]

Thank you, I’m so sorry you’ve been through this too. That’s a horrible amount of time to wait. It’s like being on a plane and knowing it will crash but theres nothing you can do about it. Its good to hear that you are feeling stronger now. My motivation to have a baby is stronger than ever at the moment, as soon as we can have another go I want to get straight back to it. Good luck for your next steps xx

[Hollibob]

Hey.

Really sorry you are going through this.

On our first round, we had the same, measuring small, but had a heartbeat...scans went on for weeks as still grew, although slowly, but in my heart after the first one, I was devastated and knew what was going to happen.

The scan at 9+5 showed that the heartbeat had finally stopped.

You’ve probably googled to see what stories people have experienced...they give you a glimmer of hope that sometimes, just sometimes nature provides miracles.

I opted for natural miscarriage as my heart still wanted to believe and give any chance possible, but when I started spotting and the cramping began, I saw my acupuncturist to help speed things up..it did help.

Had further scans after the main miscarriage bleeding and there was still something small remaining, so had to go back. At 12+5 the miscarriage was confirmed as complete.

Sorry, I don’t know what your journey has been to date, but I definitely became a little numb to the world after this and I don’t think that ever really goes away.

Next week would have been the due date (3 years ago) and I blow some bubbles in the garden to mark the day to remember.

Take the time off work that you need. We are all here for you x

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Hollibob]

Thank you for your lovely message and I’m really sorry you’ve been there. I understand what you mean about knowing in your heart but wanting to hope anyway. I want to miscarry naturally too. It must be very hard coming up to the due date. I think that blowing bubbles is a lovely idea. We’ve decided to get some bluebell bulbs for our garden as they should come out in May when our baby would have been due. Xx

[Hollibob in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

Thank you.

Your inner strength and determination will get you through! After 3 fresh and 1 frozen cycles, plus another early miscarriage, we are starting our next chapter this month with an appointment about using an egg donor.

Bluebells sound like a perfect idea

If you want to discuss anything that the clinic might not mention realistically, then just shout x

[LKT1]

So sorry you are experiencing this. i know no words will help but we are all thinking of you xXx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to LKT1]

Thank you x

[Missy_22]

I’m so sorry reading this. I feel your pain completely. Stay strong and you will get your baby. Take care xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Missy_22]

Thank you x

[romaluna2015]

Hi

I’m so sorry to read this sending you lots of love xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to romaluna2015]

Thank you x

[Elynn]

Huge hug..my heart aches for you.

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to Elynn]

Thank you x