When to give up?: Sorry not a very... - Fertility Network UK

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When to give up?

VonnVonn
VonnVonn

Sorry not a very positive title but really don’t know how to move forward. Over the last 3 years I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancy’s, 4 misscarages which I’ve needed D&C’s for, 2 ectopic’s which I had to get one of my tubes removed and now one failed round of ivf. Totally lost and confused, can I put myself, partner and my family through anymore. Really don’t know if I’ve the strength for more failure. Any positive story’s out there? Thank you for listening.xxxx

13 Replies

Hi VonnVonn

So very sorry to read this. I take it that they have done investigations into why you have gone through all of this? If you have only had one round of ivf and you really do want a baby (there does come a time when the emotional stress of it so outweighs the need) then you will find the strength to try again.

What did the off clinic suggest? Hopefully they also did investigations before starting?

Sending you big hugs xxx

P.s. one of my friends just couldn't go through it any more and went down the adoption route. She now has a beautiful wee girl they adopted at 6 months old xxx

VonnVonn
VonnVonn in reply to Camillage

3 of this miscarriages was due to chromosomes 22, the most common form of miscarriage. Thank you for your support.xxx

Camillage
Camillage in reply to VonnVonn

I am so sorry. I don't have any knowledge of this at all. I really hope they can help and you get your outcome you are looking for. Big hugs hugs xxx

So sorry to hear this, all you've been through and how you're feeling today.

I think some time out would be good for you to come to a decision on what you would like to do. There's no quick answers when it comes to wanting to be a parent. Lots of very tough choices to make along the way.

Thinking of you. Xxx

VonnVonn
VonnVonn in reply to genten

Thank you, feeling a bit better tonight. Hard this morning going back to work.xxxx

genten
genten in reply to VonnVonn

Aww that's good. Strong woman!

I can imagine, never easy after things we endure. Xxx

Awww VonnVonn im Sorry for all the trauma you have suffered.maybe you need a short break to just clear your head(easier said than done when all you want is a baby).its really hard this TTC .my experience doesnt even get close to yours.you are a strong woman.i had good news on my fourth attempt .and now have a baby boy .i just kept at it no matter how much my heart was breaking after every failed cycle.sending hugs to you .i hope you will be ok.take care of yourself.

VonnVonn
VonnVonn in reply to Lawmom

Thank you, lovely to hear that it does happen, just need to keep positive.xxxx

I asked a similar question earlier this year and I haven’t been through a fraction of what you have been through. I’m so sorry to read what a difficult time you have had. You will feel differently from one day to the next I’m sure. Have you had some counseling? A place where you can go a vent everything? It’s really a hard choice to make. Whatever way you move forward I just wanted to wish you all the very best and send love xxx

VonnVonn
VonnVonn in reply to Snuggles144

The counselling sounds a good idea, will get in touch with the hospital. Thank you xx

Hi VonnVonn you have been totally through it! I am so sorry and send you hugs. To get through all you've been through so far just shows how strong you are and how unwilling you are to give up on your dream. But maybe looking at an alternative way to realise your dream. Maybe doner egg/doner sperm/embryo adoption, surrogate or adoption? I have to have a plan b, c, d etc through each stage of this journey to and to keep me strong. I hope that you find the answer you are looking for xx

VonnVonn
VonnVonn in reply to AnnieAnnie

Waiting on the hospital getting back to us on the next step, fingers crossed hopefully another round of ivf, never thought I’d say that this morning. Feeling better by the hour.xxx

Aww vonvon, we have a very similar history. 1 miscarriage at 6wks, 2x ectopics, 1 MMC at 9wks, then both tubes removed. IVF with my own eggs, 2x chemicals, moved onto donor eggs, 1st round 1MMC at 7wks and about to start 2nd round soon. I thought DE would be my answer but so far not. I have though just had the hidden c tests done which are carried out at a clinic in Greece (no need to go there, as it’s a sample you send to them in the post) and I came back positive for one of the 11tests, which they think is e-coli!! Hubby and I currently on a 25day course of really strong antibiotics, then will try again with round 2. There’s a lot of evidence to support these tests causing miscarriages etc and the antibiotics then helping people. Proof will be in the pudding as they say, but have a look through my previous posts for more info on it. But for us, we’ve paid for a 3cycle donor package and if all those fail we will then call it a day. I felt like I had to try DE before giving up, and also doing the hidden c test as only about £280 and if a course of antibiotics is the cure then I definitely needed to give it a try. I know exactly how your feeling. I worked off facts really and we decided to put what money we had left into the option that would have the biggest chance of success based on my age/amh etc xx

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