Starting again

Hello everyone

Well, the nerves are starting to build. The constant questioning of every thing - I even convinced myself to do a pregnancy test this morning which is daft as I have been on the pill for the last month. I have been worrying through this as I am only on the pill to align timings. Like previous times when I have been on the pill, I have had breakthrough brown / light pink discharge throughout the month and more strong at the time my period may have been due. Does this mean anything? Is this why I had spotting when I did get my bfp earlier this year?

I am on marvelon and have my decapeptyl injection on Monday. This will be followed by stopping the pill later next week, then first lining scan on the following Monday along with taking the progynova. The protocol this time is the same however I seem to have more meds to take.

Eeek. I am really trying to stay calm but as I have said I am already googling like mad. The roller coaster is slowly pulling up to the top of the two week wait.

I am a natural worrier - always have been. I worry about everything from brushing my teeth the right way, to analysing everything I say after I have said it to make sure I am not offending anyone. I am trying not to be as I know I will get worse as we move through this journey.

I am convinced this time it is going to work. This is our time. But I am so so worried that we won't get a bfp, and if we do the same thing will happen this time as last time.

It is our anniversary today. We have been married 11 years, together for 20. How did that happen? Time, that is something else I am trying not to worry about. We are going to go out for dinner tomorrow night and I am going to have a glass of wine or fizz. I am also not going to feel bad about it (I already worry about other things enough). Then on Sunday we are going for a long walk up the hills somewhere.

Luckily I have a wonderful husband and very supportive family and friends. I also feel I have the support of you all. We are all so different and yet the same. I love the new game of posting something positive - such an inspiring suggestion. I also love the updates we get from our fellow warriors showing us that it can work and we do get to our goal in the end. I love how we all support each other no matter where in the cycle we are or what we have been through ourselves - we know the highs and lows. We all hug each other and cry for each other.

Thank you all - just needed to vent and thank you in advance for the support I know I am going to need over the next few months.

We can do this. We are strong. We are warriors.

Xxxx

[Barbara1012]

Enjoy your anniversary lovely and stay positive and everything will fall into place. I understand the nerves and it’s ok to have them - just keep on and all will be right in the end, and remember if it’s not, it’s not the end xxx

[Hidden in reply to Barbara1012]

Thank you xx

[Cinderella5]

I dont think the bleeding whilst on the pill is anything to worry about, a lot of people find that they get breakthrough bleeding whilst on, especially if its not a regular thing. The spotting when you get your bfp is more likely to be just the implantation which can be common (as Im sure you know) however again not for everyone. It is really hard not to be worrying about OTD already.....I did exactly the same just before I started my cycle the last time, what are we like eh?! Ha ha ha

I hope you have a lovely weekend with hubby. Enjoy that glass of wine, you bloody deserve it!!xx

[Hidden in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

Wishing you all the very best and a happy anniversary x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[Autumnmoon]

Bless you Happy Anniversary have a lovely day and enjoy your meal and the wine! Hopefully will be the last for a long time cos hopefully you will be successful sending love and best wishes x

[Hidden in reply to Autumnmoon]

Thank you very much xx

[Foodie23]

Have a lovely anniversary and good luck on this next attempt! I too worry a lot. I'm looking into parental control settings for my phone to block myself out of the internet while I'm home alone. I'm not working at the moment, so it's so easy to pick up my phone every time I have a "question" aka worry.

[Hidden in reply to Foodie23]

It's awful isn't it! A distraction at least. I am working but a lot more relaxed with myself these days on that front as I need most of my power for this journey.

Right, I am off to worry about worrying now. Ha ha xx

[Foodie23 in reply to Hidden]

Haha, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I started yoga this week and have gotten back into my mindfulness practice. I think it'll really help. That and the locking myself out of the internet thing.

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Happy anniversary lovely. Loving the hair by the way. Was gonna ask you to post a PIC.

Wishing you all the success and baby dust I'm the world hun

Huge hugs and love hun.

Have fun you deserve it

😘😘💝💝

[Hidden in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thank you x

[Kazz777]

Awwww vent out all you want ❤ hope you enjoy your anniversary and fingers crossed it will be good news🤞🤞🤞

[Hidden]

Hello my fellow warrior, just wanted to wish you a belated Anniversary,hope you had a lovely day and some quality time with your hubbie.

Stay strong,sending positive vibes your way xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you we had a lovely Thai meal. Today we are off for a hill walk - so not me but good time together. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sounds perfect, nothing like getting out in the fresh air,it's a lovely day here in South Staffs so hoping your having similar weather xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Very beautiful. Started off thinking we would be cold but it is a lovely day x