Maybe it's coz I'm sad but I c...

Maybe it's coz I'm sad but I can't help get annoyed at posts moaning about pregnancy symptoms. I don't mean to offend anyone but I'd give anything to have morning sickness. I can't help but think there maybe posting in the wrong forum xxx

[Hidden]

I agree. I do like to see people who I know have struggled posting their good news and scan pics etc. But asking questions about morning sickness and swollen ankles... I think that would be best on the other board. Big hugs to you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I would also add that we are all a fickle and highly emotional and sensitive bunch. Sometimes we forget that. I am one of those people sensitive and forgetful. Luckily we are all strong and able to be there for each other - giving hugs and shoulders to lean on when we can and sharing not and positivity where we can too. It is a fine line - hats off to us all xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I love the excellent after 5 ivf attempts here's our little girl stories that gives me hope. But moaning about being pregnant when we are all trying to get pregnant just seems a bit insensitive xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Agreed xx

[Kari55]

Totally agree with Camillage. This is not the right place for this sort of posts x

[Hidden]

I think this board is still a security blanket for people even when they get pregnant - I do agree though with what you are saying.

I joined the NCT group....but it is hard to detach from this support network.

I sometimes like to keep an eye on here in case I can help with anyone elses journey - but think I need to rely more on NCT......

Ps the 'pregnancy' boards are full of people complaining about pregnancy and motherhood! Which is really annoying!

Xxx

[Faithful06]

Agreed!!

[Hidden]

I had to unfollow someone on facebook for whinging on about all her pregnancy aches and pains after 2 mc I dont want to know get on with it. It is awful to think it but I too would rather be suffering with pregnancy aches than losing my pregnancies.

[E_05]

I agree to, if anything I’ve embraced beginning to feel sick. I struggled and still am for to long as like many women on here, it’s not the right forum for moaning about symptoms xx

[Hidden]

Definately agree! And if they've been through fertility treatments, how quick they forget xxxx

[WaywardGirl]

Apologies if anything I have posted has caused any upset.

At 7+4 I still feel like it is very early days and I am over-analysing every single thing and looking for reassurance, I’m most definitely not complaining as I know how lucky I am after such a long struggle and at my age.

[Hidden in reply to WaywardGirl]

Not at all honestly it's just me I'm just a hormonal emotional wreck 🤣 Lots of baby dust to u xxx

[Hidden]

I read a post somewhere about someone asking about drinking alcohol whilst pregnant. Why would you even consider this after getting pregnant especially through IVF?!. I personally wouldnt even risk a drop of alcohol if i managed to successfully get pregnant! I would feel like a walking miracle and would be prepared to look after myself and bump for the whole pregnancy X

[CBOO1]

I agree totally! I haven’t seen it so much on here but anyone moaning about anything pregnancy related or anyone feeling sorry for pregnant people - how is she coping in the heat etc etc I want to scream at them! I would give my right arm to be ‘suffering’ like that!!! Xx

[Hidden]

Gosh, it's difficult isn't it! I genuinely ask and want to know a pregnant friend how she is managing in the heat, sickness etc but when its on the forum here it is difficult - I just scroll quickly through messages like that tbh ! X

[Charleexn2]

I agree too. Haven’t seen much on here though to be fair, more from friends on Facebook. The one that gets me the most is the picture of a messy room and the caption ‘have kids they said, it’ll be fun they said’. Breaks my heart. I’d give anything to have a messy house! xx

[Hidden]

I’m in complete agreement with you I think it is insensitive. I too would give my right arm to be pregnant & “suffer “ pregnancy symptoms!

I also love the success stories gives me hope, it would awful if this site was only full of BFN’s & miscarriages.

I guess to flip the coin, it is hard becoming pregnant after fighting infertility. I struggled emotionally for the brief period I was pregnant. It is such a shame there isn’t another platform for ladies who become pregnant after fertility treatments or a long battle TTC.

I’m sure they don’t mean to cause upset but must try to remember what it was like when they were going through infertility & how they would’ve felt xoxo

[CC2018]

Apologies if I've caused any upset and I hope it didn't sound like I was moaning.I was just after advice really on the best ways to deal with it. Xx

[Hidden in reply to CC2018]

Honestly it's just me. I've just been emotional all day xxx

[kirstyblue]

I feel the same but I do think the forum is for all sorts and it’s just something we have to deal with. I know how you feel though. My sisters currently 11 weeks pregnant and I’m finding it hard every time she mentions the baby xx

[Hidden]

I have asked Diane if there are any guidelines for the forum - maybe they have written down some considerations for people who post - would be helpful I think.....let's see what she says. Xxx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Ppl that post about pregnancy symptoms on here are most likely the ones, that feel they have, made friends on here and, get a good response also they have struggled too and are not out of the struggle just because their pregnant once you've suffered infertility it, never leaves you and those that have found this forum as a support network feel like they still need support throughout their pregnancy from the lovlies who have supported them all along, anxiety is extremely high when you've suffered infertility miscarriage etc and I really don't think ppl are trying to offend or upset in any way maybe they've tried another forum and not got a, response. I do find writing" sensitive post relating to pregnancy " would, be of help to those that don't feel up to reading these sorts of posts. We all need to be there for, one another and remember the reason why we all came to this forum pregnant or not. I know for a fact these, pregnant ladies that do post are not trying to offend and their anxiety levels, are through the roof and that infertility journey isn't over ever but will be a wonderful achievement if and when they get to hold their baby in their arms. I'd also like to add iv been one of those who've shared my symptoms whilst struggling not to offend in anyway shape or form but to share my story and let others know it's not all fun and, games once you get your bfp those that have followed my story no my heart ache and worry throughout this pregnancy and know how I'm extremely blessed to be in the position now I'm in. I tell you it's not been fun at all up to now I'm filled with dread like I'm sure the others who post about their pregnancies are filled with anxiety. Them huge milestones that get shared are moments that show wow they've got this far and it can happen but remember their not on the woods yet. Till they've got their baby in their arms. Ultimately infertility never leaves you pregnant or not and the support on this network is second to none. I think titling a post "sensitive pregnancy related " is enough for ppl to decide to read or not, we're all here for a reason and it's not too offend it's support and sharing individual journeys and sometimes hope

Love you all

😘😘💝💝

[Amanda86 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Massively agree with all you’ve just said Cat - I spent 2 years on this forum before being lucky enough for treatment to achieve a viable pregnancy - I had people here whom I’d chatted to that entire time. I did one day have to use this forum to vent about the treatment I was having from some people (family and friends) regarding my extreme morning sickness and being told by them to stop moaning 🙄

I knew I’d get support here, no offence to NCT but nobody knew me there and I would not have received the support I did had I posted there.

As Cat says a successful pregnancy test, scans etc you still need support! For me I tried to never moan about being pregnant, for a long time I didn’t believe it would ever happen and I wished like everyone else oh I wish they’d stop complaining I’d suffer like them just to be pregnant (I still stand by this, I would and I did). The first 20 weeks of pregnancy I had hyperemesis and I can’t even explain how horrendous that was, it stopped at 20 weeks and then from around 26 weeks I started to have bleeds due to placenta previa. I couldn’t have got through my pregnancy the way I did without the support from the lovely ladies on this forum, Cat being one of them. They just ‘get it’ like nobody else does.

I don’t think anyone ever posts to offend, agree a little title saying sensitive subject should be enough to allow you to scroll past it if you don’t feel like reading it, I had days where I did find it hard to read things, even look at scan pictures even though I knew these were posted to give others hope (and they really do, but we all have low days) but please remember we’ve all been on the same journey and all have the same ultimate goal, once you achieve that goal you still need that ongoing support.

😘 xxx

[Lynnr54]

There have been various attempts to try and set up groups on places like Facebook for those of us lucky enough to become pregnant after IVF. Unfortunately they aren’t advertised enough and people aren’t aware of them so they aren’t used as fully as they could be (Facebook also has the added complication of it needing to be a “secret” group to stop others seeing it and it being difficult to add people who aren’t “friends” to a secret group). Maybe we could ask health unlocked to set up a new forum for those of us who have been lucky enough to be successful? If it’s done via this website then people might be more likely to join it? Anyone know how to tag Diane Arnold in this post to ask what she thinks?

[Shirazlover2013]

I don’t believe anyone posts insensitive posts deliberately, maybe a little thoughtlessly but it’s almost impossible to predict every other persons possible response. I worry that a lot of us are feeling isolated in our normal lives hence reaching out to this forum for support and friendship. I don’t want anyone here to feel any more isolated and feel that they can’t post honestly or have to sanitise so much they can’t get their message across. We’re all doing the best we can. Good luck and baby dust to all of us xx

[Mantaray75]

I can see your point from both sides. I'm nearly 10 weeks pregnant, and feel like crap I might add

I wouldn't post questions on here about trivial pregnancy symptoms as I don't think its the place. Even though I'm pregnant I still don't like people posting scan pictures. I agree that hearing positive stories is good and I like to know how people are getting on who I've got to know on here. However, scan pictures just get me every time. It doesn't seem so bad when people write the update but maybe thats just me.

What I can say is that being pregnant after IVF is a lonely place. I haven't signed up to any pregnancy forums but the ones I've glanced at are full of people say, 'oh I didn't have this problem during my previous 4 pregnancies!' At a recent appointment on the antenatal ward to meet my obstetrician I felt like a complete imposter. I don't fit into that group or the IVF group.

After 4 years of IVF, one miscarriage, having to use an egg donor and having a very bumpy pregnancy so far - of course I'm grateful I'm in this position. However, at the moment the anxiety is overtaking the happiness. I hope this will change over coming weeks.

IVF changes you as a person and I don't like the person I've become. I can't be grateful for where I am now and I struggle to be happy for other people who are pregnant.

I have to say that the ladies on this forum have been amazing through all my ups and downs. I am definitely grateful for that.

x

[Missy_22]

Totally agree x