Sorry in advance for the rant but I feel i have to let it out.
I’ve just started downregulation for our next FET and was quite calm about it. But things are again hitting the roof !
My mom has been struggling with cancer for a few years now and it seems to have suddenly gotten worse very quickly 😓 they told us last month she would have a year left but she is not handling her last chimio well at all and I am no worried she might not even make it to Christmas (or worse) I might be wrong and I think we will no more next week but it’s hard.
Especially since we don’t live close to each other (am French and my parents live in the South of France). I was there for 2 weeks in July , my sister stayed a while as well.
I keep telling my dad I’m coming back but at the moment she prefers to stay on her own i might go anyway for a couple of days next week.
I thought of pushing the FET again (cancelled last Transfer in June / July ...) but we decided to go ahead not knowning how long will it take.
I ve been ok stress level wise until today... i was even quite positive !!! but now i m worried that s it s going to get worse in the coming weeks and that stress will affect the outcome of the FET. Seeing her so weak and knowing the outcome is terrible. (Pre periods is also not helping ...)
It might just be the chimio that is knocking her out and once thats done she’ll be less sick & will be able to have the last few months of her life without treatment or too much pain... we just dont know, hence we decided not to delay our FET... she also wanted us to go ahead with it.
Anyway, sorry for the rant and depressing Monday message.... after 3,5 of TTC numerous treatments, failures and bad news, i’m starting to loose my 🤬🤯😰
Sending much love to all xxx