Own worst enemy : Do you ever think... - Fertility Network UK

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Own worst enemy

HPLondon
HPLondon

Do you ever think infertility is making you go mad?

Here are some things I categorically know...I had egg collection in May, and I know this will mess up my cycles. My first period after initial bleed after collection is 5 days late, and I’ve had minimal spotting (I always spot about a week before).

I know that it’s basically impossible for us to conceive naturally.

I know that we’ve also had very little sex this month.

I know that I’m generally a pretty realistic and pragmatic person.

And yet.

And yet, there is a tiny part of my brain that is so irrational and so bloody persuasive....that convinces me that I could be pregnant. It could be a miracle! I could be the one against all the odds!

It’s exhausting and I’m so annoyed at myself for listening to that voice. Someone change the record.

The spotting has got heavier now so know I’ll be coming on soon, which is good that’ll mean we’re one step closer and I can stop thinking about it.

I’m usually fine about my period but I think it’s just the anticlimax of doing a freeze all cycle and waiting to find out when the FET will happen.

Sorry for rant, I’m just bored of listening to that devil on my shoulder!

Please say others have this as well??

3 Replies
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Hidden
Hidden

Oh my goodness I know what u mean, I’ve been told I have no eggs and my periods will stop as I’m early menapause and when my period didn’t come for 3 months ( like the doctors told me it would stop) I still did 3 pregnancy tests all negative obvs but it’s that tiny bit of hope that just maybe!!!

U r not mad don’t worry xxxx

I can totally relate to you. My level of anger lies somewhere else. People don't understand what secondary infertility is like. It is so difficult to go through it. Honestly, I have no one to share my feelings with because everyone thinks I am ungrateful. However, the doctors have told me that suffering from poor ovarian reserve means that chances of conceiving are now next to nothing. I am so worried and tensed. People need to realize how empathy is so much important.

Thanks both, can be so frustrating can’t it!

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