Hi everyone, in need of some advise.. I turned 41 this March. My first IVF cycle ended in November last year in a chemical pregnancy. Self funded. My partner and I are struggling to find funds for a second cycle. Realistically I don’t think we will have the money until early next year, maybe January. Of course it could be later, by which time I would be 42.
There were a lot of positive’s to take from my last cycle. Responded almost too well and had 16 mature eggs from 23 follicles, Doctor thinks the dosage was too high and that it affected quality, as I only ended up with 2 reasonable grade embryos. They are recommending a Short Protocol this time due to my strong response.
I am supplementing and taking care of myself, so I have hope it could work especially with the Short Protocol plan.
We are finding the financial side of it so stressful, and there are more and more negatives in the press about treatment over 42 now. Although I know every women is an individual. So do we scrabble around to have a second cycle in about October or should we save ourselves some stress and wait until we can afford it?
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Emska77
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Hi Emska, this is a really difficult decision for you. I am currently 42 and have had 2 rounds of ivf in the last year, 3 transfers. We are now deliberating over whether to go for 1 more round with own eggs or head straight for donor. What I would say is that I had a similar positive response in terms of egg quantity and supposed quality - in total, we have had 4 good quality blastocysts transferred. The main reason our clinic gives for lack of success is my age which is affecting the quality of my eggs. It’s really difficult to accept this when there’s no evidence to see that this is the case. The two things I would say are that if you wanted to do it sooner than you could by saving, some clinics offer a loan scheme through payment companies I think Accessfertility does this - and if you wanted more certainty of a positive result than it may be worth considering donor eggs which could increase your chances. Feel free to pm me if you want to. X
Hi, and thank you so much for sharing. The fact you reached blasto stage does suggest quality, so it must be so frustrating for you. I did look into Accessfertility actually on the first cycle, so may look again. I may consider Donor eggs in the future but while I have some positive signs we will try at least once more with our own eggs. X
Yes, I agree that’s how I would feel if I were you. Wishing you luck and good fortune to pay for your next round! Xx
I think the fact that your AMH is obviously good enough to get eggs is great. I started on the ivf cycle a year and a half ago at the age of 41. I knew nothing about ivf just started trying to conceive. After 5 months because of my age I went to gp who did some tests. I was beyond devastated to find my amh was only 0.5! We then had no choice but donor eggs. First round I got pregnant but miscarried at 6 weeks. Second round it didn’t work grades of embryos were not good and that is what they put it down to.
We are like you in turmoil to in which way to go. If with donor eggs we only got two good embryos and two alright to bad ones what happens if next time we get worse outcome? I thought on our second ivf I would rather it failed than have a miscarriage but after it failed I felt like it totally failed with little hope if that makes sense. We are asking ourselves the question if it was free would we do it again and we still can’t get the answer as the journey is so emotional. Then I see Bridget Neilson is nearly due her baby at 53! and I think well it is possible! Age has never been a concern for my clinics yes it reduces the chances but I think you are still at a good age. Good luck on your decisions xxx
Thank you for sharing your journey and your advice. Turmoil is indeed the right word to describe this situation. My partner and and I always said we would do up to three cycles but financially this is killing us, so it could be our last go.. I read about Bridget Nielson as well! Amazing. Also Eva Longoria is due soon I think and she is now 43, and I never though she would have children. Just goes to show every woman is different. I know they are celebs but your right it does give you hope. Good luck to you too! X
Hi there, I’m also 41. I’ve recently committed to IVF round no. 2. I’ve read loads on how age can impact on egg quality, but it does only take the one egg to work! We start again late August/early September.
I’m inclined to crack on with it as I feel that time is ticking by. Not sure if you could fund your next round via a 0% percent credit card with 19 months or so to pay it off?
Hi Lou, your totally right in that you just need that golden egg. I wish you lots of luck with round 2! We have a couple of cards that I might be able to get a new deal on so will try that in a few months time I think. Unfortunately we have a general amount of overall debt that we are still working on and paying off which is the underlying issue. Some of our payments should be reducing soon though so hopefully then we can start clearing it down quicker. Just feels like you get rid of one debt to take on another though, which is what is stressing us out. X
Thanks for your input. As mentioned I have already had one cycle of IVF so I know what’s involved, and didn’t find it too bad to be honest. I think everyone is different so I think I will take my chances X
Hello, I turned 41 in January & had my first IVF cycle in March. I had started to look after myself really well around 5 months prior to starting & admittedly I have never smoked or been much of a drinker anyway. I was on short protocol & only had 6 eggs retrieved ( was not expecting lots of eggs though ) & had 3 embryos transferred back after 3 days. I'm currently almost 14 weeks pregnant. My husbands cousin also concieved through IVF aged 42. I was totally shocked to get a BFP but even though the odds are not in our favour it can be done. Good luck Hun xx
Thank you so much for your positive message and massive congratulations to you! This is what I mean about everyone being different despite what statistics tell us. That fact you also know someone in your immediate network over 42 and pregnant is proof of that. I look after myself as well, have never smoked etc and I am excited about the idea of short protocol. You have really given me hope. 😊
For me, I knew I had to try with my own eggs. I walked into the clinic feeling like I had no hope but the consultant totally changed my view. I had never met such a supportive Dr . As snuggles said, age has never been an issue at her clinic either. I think if you are with a clinic you trust it's worth a shot. Sending you love & lots of baby dust 😘 xx
Congrats Hidden. Can't PM you. Which clinic and doc you used? I've read that mild stimulation is better for over 40s but some say it doesn't matter. Thanks.
Thank you for your message. What a great success story for your friend. She most be so happy. I will try to stay positive. I think I have a good chance. Just need to find the money X
Hi, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl at the beginning of May. I am a lucky 43 year old who was successful with my first attempt of IVF. I responded well to treatment and managed to get 11 eggs. I had two quality blastos transferred. Had my first round not been successful I may have considered donor eggs. However, I am an example of a 43 year old who has fallen pregnant with IVF using her own eggs so it is definitely possible and there is hope for all us older ladies. It is a very hard and emotional situation. I would go with what feels right for you but I hope my story makes you feel more positive about your age. X
Wow that's wonderful news! congratultions on your new arrival. You must be over the moon. Stories like yours are so inspiring. Were you actually 43 at the time of starting treatment? X
Thank you very much. Yes, I feel very blessed. I was aged 42 and 7 months when I started treatment. I was told that my chances of conceiving was slim like everybody my age. Before I started treatment I surprisingly fell pregnant naturally but that unfortunately ended in miscarriage. We went ahead with the IVF treatment a month later and I felt like I’d won the lottery when I got a bfp.
I wish you the very best of luck in your IVF journey. X
Congrats KDesSilva. Just asked via PM which clinic and doc you used? I've read that mild stimulation is better for over 40s but some say it doesn't matter. Thanks.
I PMed you be haven't received a response. Which clinic and doc did you use kDeSilva? I've read that mild stimulation is better for over 40s but some say it doesn't matter. Was your protocol standard or minimal?
Hi Martinax, that's what the Doctors tell me! I know it's not an exact science, but I think they are very positive about putting me on the short protocol so they can monitor me closely, and it sounds nicer in that I won't have to down regulate. Starting to feel good about it now, thank you for your message X
I'm so sorry you had a bad first cycle but glad you had a happy result with donor eggs ! X
I know many people and myself too currently who had successful way over 42 and some used own eggs most used donor embryo or donor eggs but had babies good luck
Thanks so much for sharing, this is really encouraging X
Hi there, everyone is different and it sounds as if you respond well. I would very much go for it, and try and get your next round as soon as possible - for your own piece of mind though, not because of your impending birthday. I conceived, through IVF, at 40, and I didn't respond nearly as well as you, so I am proof that it can happen. I am 22 weeks today. Best of luck and go with your gut xxx
Thank you so much for your message, and big congratulations to you. I totally agree that all of us are different, so i am going to try and stay positive and believe it will happen. I would like treatment about October time, so I think I am going to aim for that. I'm sure my partner and I will find a way to manage the cost. Good luck to you xx
Ther is a Clinic in Spain called Intituto Bernabeu has the website in English and they guarantee you will get pregnant otherwise they will give your money back.This programme is up to 42-43 and up to 49 with donated eggs.
Each women is different they cannot do stadistics for whole women.
Aome got pregnat at 49 naturally some never get pregnant at 24.
HI Maryanne, thanks for your message. Sorry for the delayed reply, work has been manic! Yes I have briefly looked at treatment abroad but it is so hard to decide which one to use! thanks for the Clinic recommendation, will definitely have a look at the website
It’s true, yes it’s individual cases. I had a natural conception and birth at sixteen and then again naturally at 42! It was 25 years difference and it was such a shock to my system, immediately went into the menopause and suffered secondary infertility. Obviously, didn’t have my own eggs and at 44 and 45 used donor eggs sharing with another couple. Obviously this made it cheaper, and we got 6 eggs each! The donor was in her 20s so good egg reserve. Unfortunately, after 3 eggs implanted on 3 separate occasions, miscarried and was totally unsuccessful. First fresh round A grade, then A/B, then 2 x B. So fantastic quality. So now decided to adopt a sibling for my 4 year old. So.....age isn’t an issue honey go for what’s best for you and don’t worry about what stigma attitudes some people have about age. It’s just a number lovely. Also...... I’m going to an information evening about adoption tomorrow, so I will let you all know howvI get on. X
Thank you for your advise and sharing your story. It’s been lovely to receive such positivity from everyone on here and made me feel so much better about moving forward to the next cycle. Adoption is certainly something we may consider in the future. Good luck to you 😊
Hi Emska i have my first round of ICSI at 39 which failed. 5 eggs collected all poor quality and only 1 fertilised and then disintegrated a day later. Second round of ICSI at age 40 i had 7 eggs collected, 6 useable, 2 fertilised. 3 day double embyro transfer and BFN 2 weeks later. So upsetting. I am now going for a tandem cycle in Cyprus. Not sure if you've heard about tandem? Both me and a donor will have IVF/ ICSI. Same sort of price as 1 cycle in UK but success rate at the clinic is 80%. Im starting mine hopefully in August. Good luck with whatever you choose its a difficult decision Xx
Hi, thank you for messaging. No I haven’t heard of Tandem, but it sounds interesting, especially if the success rates are higher. Will have a look into it. I wish you lots of luck for your cycle in August 😊
My friend got pregnant through ivf at 42, it was her fourth round. But obviously sooner is better regarding egg quality so if you’re definitely up for trying it again then I’d say try to get the money sooner if you can.
Hey there. How are you doing? I hope its all great. I am really sorry that you have to go through this. It's never too late. I have seen people get success in their 40. However, you can also look at surrogacy. I wish you good luck. Take care.
Hi Emska77! I turned 42 during our third round of IVF and we were third time lucky. Currently 16 weeks. Started Round 1 on 41st birthday on long protocol, started 2nd round on short protocol about 3 months after that BFN.
Third round short protocol. 2nd and third rounds were exactly the same -drug doses, everything. I did have holidays before the round started and was signed off for duration of the cycle so stress levels were significantly reduced. Also asked that the Embryologists kept the "info/stats" talk to an absolute minimum as we'd heard all the stats before and I couldn't face hearing them again. Whole process was so much more chilled third time round.
Congrats Snowy. Which clinic and doc did you use? I've read that mild stimulation is better for over 40s but some say it doesn't matter. Did you have mild or los stim? Thanks.
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