IVF: So we’re being referred for ivf... - Fertility Network UK

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S-wind profile image
19 Replies

So we’re being referred for ivf. It just seems like nothing just a three letter word, you don’t know the meaning of this three letter word when u first start trying. You have no idea about what’s in front of u apart from lots of sex, or the heart ache that’s about to come with 4 miscarriages and then drugs to help which make u be even more emotional, and look like an elephant. The people who have had it easy and say “it’ll happen” or don’t say anything then u think no one cares.

This three letter word seems a lot bigger than three letters, I’m so scared and don’t feel strong enough to go through it, I’m not strong enough to google it yet 🙈but we’ll put it behind us as I’m sure every single women has done on here. God we’re so strong to do this. My heart goes to everyone trying to conceive and we keep our head help high and keep goin! Just hope it’s nothing as bad as what I’m expecting. Love to everyone xx

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S-wind
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19 Replies
beauty1984 profile image
beauty1984

It does seem like a scary journey but it’s also an amazing journey. I think it’s more the unknown that is scary so any questions no matter how big or small or how silly you think they are then just ask. Everyone on here has been through it all so can offer support. Good luck x

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to beauty1984

Thankyou so much for ur reply. I hope so. I’m not even sure how long we’ll need to wait yet 😱 we’ll see.

Thankyou xxx

S-wind profile image
S-wind

Thankyou for ur reply. Most people are like few when they get a referral but I don’t. Maybe I’m still in shock. I work on a post natal ward too which is ok but hard sometimes. Hopefully tonight will be a fast shift haha Thankyou for ur reply means a lot xxx

Autumnmoon profile image
Autumnmoon

It's not easy but try to break down the stages and deal with each step at a time also keep in mind it does work for some and hopefully that will be you too wishing you all the best for success x

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to Autumnmoon

Thankyou so much for ur reply 💖💖💖 and Thankyou xxx

Joanna1701 profile image
Joanna1701

Hi S-wind, I know how you feel. I have been very nervous to start this process as well.

One of the lovely ladies on here created an amazing website called The Duff which explains IVF in simple easy words.

When you're up to it, maybe give it a read?

It really helped me understand everything & feel more secure in knowing you'll be in safe, professional hands & how amazing the whole process is!

theduff.co.uk/ivf-process-s...

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to Joanna1701

Aw thankyou so much 💖 it’s so good being on here, I only found out about it because I work on a post natal ward on maternity and this young lady had been struggling for ages and told me about it, so glad I joined.

Thankyou so much for ur reply means a lot, did u have to wait long for ur referral?

I wish u all the luck in the world xxx

Joanna1701 profile image
Joanna1701 in reply to S-wind

Its a really friendly forum :-)

I've had about 1.5 years worth of tests to identify me as "unexplained infertility" & I got my referral for 1 cycle of IVF last week. Just waiting for the paperwork side to be signed off then hopefully good to go!

Wishing you loads of luck as well :-)

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to Joanna1701

Yeh we’ve had the invasive test and scans, bloods, hcg. Just waiting for the referral, just not sure how long that will take but not rush, calm now as something will hopefully be done to help more.

Best wishes to you, let me know how u get on xxxx

strong-girl profile image
strong-girl

Hi

Ur feelings are totally normally I expected that I would do ivf and fall pregnant magically on the first attempt 0out of 15 eggs fertilised I was left shocked and since then have become negative and tbh I feel dumb

But now I’m going to go for my 2nd cycle and it’s not that bad because we are strong and I’m waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel

Chin up and look after urself these hurdles make us strong cry if u need to but remember there are others going through worse xx

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to strong-girl

Thankyou for ur reply,

I know it’s a very tuff ride isn’t it, I’m just scared of the medication, how they get ur eggs out of ur ovaries.

Have u gone private or have u gone nhs? We’ve been referred to the MRI st Mary’s in Manchester.

I wish u all the look in the world xxxx

strong-girl profile image
strong-girl in reply to S-wind

I have one cycle on the Nhs so till embryo is transferred

I’m terrified of needles and now it just does not bother me what keeps me going is that maybe all this will pay off

Stay strong

Private message me if you want to talk x

kickingfish profile image
kickingfish

It’s a really tough thing to go through. I’ve just through my first cycle at st Mary’s, unfortunately it ended in a BFN, so now waiting again for a follow up appointment. We had our first appointment/test about 2 months after referral. Then an info session about 5 months after referral, after that it was much quicker.

I’m finding it hard being around pregnant friends and those with kids, which unfortunately is most people.

I found it easier doing the ivf process rather than thinking about it, I think you get into a mindset of just doing it. The end result will be worth it. Just be realistic with the odds. Hope you get a quick referral and it all starts soon for you xxx

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to kickingfish

Thankyou u for ur reply.

It’s so difficult isn’t it. I work on a postnatal ward, I think with it being in my face it’s very difficult but kind of helps. Suppose I don’t see women happy which sounds silly they’ve just had a baby, there tired and in pain and as much as they moan and just want half an hour sleep I’d still do anything to have that. If they weren’t crying and kept saying I’m so happy I’ve everything it would kill me. At times I feel so silly for still working there but it’s my job and we’re harder than we think. People we have there children our time will hopefully come 🤞🏼 I feel so positive at the moment I’ve not really been that interested with it all this month last month I thought I was pregnant so much and thought clomid would work first time and when I came on my period on holiday it ruined everything, the holiday I didn’t want to do anything my mood was so low, I met an old friend known her for years and for some reason we started laughing at the fact I’m having so much sex, and that chris sperm test wasn’t the best some sperms are smaller than they should be even tho it’s not funny I’m just not sure why we laughed and it really helped me. I thought I can’t put myself through it again it’s killing me and making me lonely.

On to the next step! We’ll see what happens xx

So sorry you have had such a hard time so far TTC.

It is such a scary jump into the unknown and so uncertain that IVF can be so difficult.

One thing that keeps us going is actually how amazing IVF is....reading the positive outcomes on this site and just imagining if it didn't exist! I know people in my home country that cannot afford to do this and also that do not get any free cycles and I am so grateful that we can have it. The egg collection was not that bad for me compared to what I read online and actually the egg transfer was quite amazing, seeing the embryo being planted.

We have round 1 down - it was disappointing, but frozen cycle in a few weeks. I think getting hopes up and then crushing sadness if it doesn't work is hard. But there is always the next time.

I totally understand that having previous miscarriages makes this process even harder.....

It was not as bad as I was expecting though - I had a friend who told me horror stories so I was scared to imagine what it was going to be like. Suppose it depends on each case.

Just be easy on yourself - take time to process everything and look after yourself if you can.

IVF changes people's lives - it has not changed ours yet and hopefully it does....

Best of luck - you can do this!

xxxxxxxxxxx

S-wind profile image
S-wind in reply to

Thankyou so much 💖 best of luck to u! And Thankyou for ur reply means so much to me. Please let me know how I get on xxx

in reply to S-wind

Yes of course! You too! 💕💕 Sending us both positive energy and strength!

😀

S-wind profile image
S-wind

Thankyou for ur reply.

I was lucky enough to meet some more inspiring women on the post natal ward I work. One lady had been trying 10 years had ivf and other things and then conceived naturally. I hear it all the time it’s crazy.

I will keep goin and see what happens 🤞🏼 life’s hard sometimes but we get through xxx

S-wind profile image
S-wind

Thankyou for ur reply means a lot to me xxxx

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