Random question / opinion

[abcgirl]

I’ve had gripes about my clinic from the very beginning but with no real alternative where I live, I’ve had to just stick with it and it’s not all bad. They have been receptive to our wishes and I just got a cancelled appointment which made our 6 week wait for an appointment now only 2 days.

But I’m wondering what you all think about this and if it’s worth complaining about...

As I was about to get my first fresh transfer last month, I was told by the embryologist while in the surgery room that I had another 5 embryos to freeze. Of course I was ecstatic.

And then the doctor or nurse (can’t remember) said something to the effect of: “hope your you’re ready for 6 kids!” Basically implying that all 6 would result in a live birth and that’d I’d want a family that big.

It was an offhand comment said in a joking matter but it was completely unprofessional. I’ve done enough research to know the chances of 6 embryos resulting in 6 live births is practically impossible. And well two weeks after I had a BFN so there.

I had my wits about me to know it wasn’t a serious comment but are they actually getting ladies’ hopes up like that on a regular basis??

Some women go through this and aren’t part of forums like this and so private about their journey lean on the professionals for their information (and might not Google everything) and a comment like that can really cause some women more distress than necessary.

What do you all think??

In writing this I also remember another comment I got from a nurse during very first appointment and she said ‘oh you’re in good shape you shouldn’t have any trouble getting pregnant’ in reference to my weight. This was at the appointment when she took bloods, weight and did the smoking test so knew nothing of my actually history and problem (which we found after our failed first round of IVF). Well f**k you it’s been over a year now and nothing. Sorry this is starting to get on my nerves now.

They should really be more careful with what hey say to patients. Are they just trying to keep up hopeful and positive?? I don’t know

[Lilli79]

Hi abcgirl im sorry you've had these experiences. All I can say about consultants is that good & polite ones are not common in my opinion. They either rush you through or they are just rude (not all I might add). We have been through a few and even requested a change once as one of them was just a total a-hole. In terms of the nurses comments, I've had a few choice ones. I was told I was not getting pregnant because I was overweight - no mention of my husbands deficient sperm if course! I find it's easier just to grin and bear it as hard as that might be. Sometimes it's easier just to get visibly upset in front of them to make them feel uncomfortable! I'm sorry for your BFN, and hope they're a little more compassionate with you in the future xxx

[abcgirl in reply to Lilli79]

Oh yeah that reminds me the first consultant I saw who was absolute rubbish. He didn’t consider any of my concerns. When I told him I though my period was light and only lasted 2 days he said ‘oh you’re lucky then’ like what!?!?

[Lamorna80]

I understand your frustration. We felt like we had no choice with our clinic due to where we live. After 2 failed cycles, long waits for appointments & not feeling like we were treated particularly well considering the money we were spending, I lost confidence in them. Now that I know the process well, I knew what was involved and we have changed clinics to one 300 miles away.

They did our consultation via Skype and have been so accommodating, fitting tests/scratches etc all in on the same day to avoid extra visits. I’ve booked a nice air bnb in the countryside not far from the clinic for the egg collection/transfer week and the way we have been treated has been so, so different. It feels far more professional & less chaotic. No waiting for appointments and such lovely staff who I feel have taken the time to really understand our issues. I only wish we’d done it sooner.

[Kathy_t]

I think they need to be considerate in what they're saying. Their comments sound really immature / inexperienced and to your point, build false hope. I'd be livid too! X

[Princes14]

Completely and utterly unacceptable behaviour.

As a nurse myself, I would never dream to giving anyone false hope and I work in surgery. It’s so important to be tactful and professional at all times when dealing in delicate matters of health.

I would find a way of making an official complaint, and what’s more I would speak to the senior sister - so that you can voice your concerns about the behaviours that are going on within the department.

Sending you love and hope xxx