Sometimes I feel like I wonder if this horrible journey is really worth it. I am so tired of all the ‘small’ things in people’s lives coming so easily.
I’m also miffed because no one seems to understand what it’s like and wonder what all the fuss is about. I seem to get to a place where I’m doing ok then all of a sudden I get set back again to feeling completely helpless.
Why do we bother trying if all it does is makes us hurt?
We have so much hope at the beginning of anything new. It’s always a chance we didn’t have before.
I’ve not tried ivf yet, I’m scared it won’t work and I’ll be ripped apart and I won’t be able to cope.
How do you manage?
Xx
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AJJ123
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There really isn’t any direct way of handling this.... it after a while becomes part of a journey not all women have to take so that makes us women that do WARRIORS... We take the worst part and turn it into something that makes us stronger is someways.
We don’t always manage it well there are days I as most of us feel weak, useless, broken and tired then there are days when we feel like this WILL not beat us.
Every step, every prod, every needle, every bleed EVERYTHING makes no sense to others that don’t understand but to us it’s potentially a step closer to what MRs Emu would say a bit of chocolate cake.
Your best thing you done today was join this forum we all understand x
Thank you, that’s really inspiring. There are days where I feel I can take on the world and days where the hint of AF coming makes me crumble. I’m dealing with so many things right now and I’d like to think of myself as a warrior!
But I can from my own of continuous miscarriages and 2 years if trying with nothing at all.
I know I keep going because all the hurt and pain will be a distant memory and once I get my baby in my arms I'll appreciate him/her so much due to the fight iv gone through to get them. I don't intentionally put my self through hurt and pain but I know with each pregnancy there's that chance I'll get hurt again but I do believe what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Yes it's tough and it does take it's toll on me my relationship but I know we know it is worth it and it's what we both want. Our relationship we fought for it was never easy but now we love each other so much more due to the heartache we've been through together.
Anything worth anything in life is worth fighting for yes it's tough it tests us to the ultimate limits but we're strong ppl and what we want weighs out the hurt 100 times. Ppl that don't get it won't ever get it but don't concentrate on them concentrate on you and how you deal with this and get your strength up and keep fighting you will win the war.
Thank you so much for replying. It’s a tough time and I’m handling things but it’s still under the surface ready to blow. I need to stay strong minded and focus rather than flaking and falling apart every now and then. It’s so annoying when you can’t keep yourself together. I’m used to being so level headed xx
Don't beat yourself up hun for falling and flaking it's human nature it's bound to happen every now and then. We're not robots hun. As long as we pick ourselves up and talk to those we can trust we will get there. If there's one person out there that keeps a level head all if the time through this journey I'd love to meet them and have some of what they have, but I can tell you it's not happening unless their made of iron and have no heart. You'll be fine hun if you ever need to talk we're here.
I’m not sure how I manage some days, I think the desire to one day hold my baby keeps me going and thinks this has to all be worth it one day.
My moods swing massively from the point one morning I may feel like I’m ready to start again, to that afternoon I’m not and I think that’s okay. Take the support you have around you and from everyone on here, remember it’s okay to not always be okay xx
It’s so reassuring to know people feel the same. My husband thinks I’m nuts but he’s male - that’s his excuse. It’s hard to talk about things with others because they have no idea so you end up holding it in and saving it for the big eruption later on (that’s me) and some poor soul (husband) gets in in the neck xx
You sound exactly like me hun that's exactly what I do. Then we feel ten times more worse. It's hormones they play a big part aswel as the heartache. Big hugs hun
They definitely do, I’m exactly the same with my hubby I don’t know how he doesn’t get whiplash from how my mood swings 🙈 lol
I think because men don’t have the same hormones it is harder for them to understand, keep talking on here though we get it Xx
Big hugs. I'm on my first round of ivf. Just had the embryo transfer so have no idea if it has worked or not at this point. I've honestly not found it bad at all. You have to relax. I just go with the flow and think that I am doing everything I can to try to make it happen and that's the best I can do. Keep your chin up xxx
I totally understand, I am usually coping ok, HOPE that my time will come keeps me going and then.. another friend sends a WhatsApp message with a pregnancy announcement and a picture of a scan 3 months after the wedding and my heart sinks and I feel so hopeless, so scared and so worried this will never happen for us.
Why,why, why it's all I can think of. I am getting angry and upset. Then I pull myself together and I carry on with my life untill my next period, until another news, painful reminders of my biggest fear.
But then I try to put things into perspective.. and remember all my blessings in life. Being grateful helps massively.
Reading your post could be me writing it, I know exactly how you feel. So many of us do which is why this really helps. In something where you feel so alone, it does help to know that on here, we aren’t.
I know that feeling so well when you’ve tried everything you can that fertile week, taken the right supplements, eaten the right foods, drunk the right drinks, you then have to wait 2 weeks where you try so hard to be so positive & then just as the period pains & the headaches start, someone else announces they’re pregnant. Your heart drops inside you & you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach & all you want is to cry & hide under the bed covers & then just to finish you off, you see the all too familiar sign of blood & all hope is lost yet again. 6 times this has happened to me. Friends, family members, clients. The most recent was a family member who had got herself in a right state because she hadn’t gotten pregnant in the first month - second month - she’s pregnant! How does that even happen?? 3 years I’ve been at this soon!!
I wish I had the answer to how to make this easier for you & all of us but just know that you aren’t alone!
That is exactly how I feel, it’s been three years for me too. The third year has been the hardest for me because I underwent a lap and hoped that would fix me and it hasn’t. I thought naively that it would be the answer to everything, although it gave me answers it didn’t help me get pregnant. Now every time I hear wonderful news close to me (not generally) I just feel a huge blow. I’m coping well most of the time, I just don’t like how it’s changed me. Im not one to ogle babies - still not tbh and I don’t get broodie. It’s just the getting pregnant part that I am struggling with xx
The Way I’ve approached my one fresh and frozen transfers is to kinda be hopeful but not overly so. It is devastating when it does not work, but what helps me is thinking ahead to the next round. So when I did my first fresh round I had already planned a date for a frozen transfer if that didn’t work. When I did my frozen transfer I had planned when I would go again. If you are going into ivf you do need to be prepared for it not to work, it takes an average of three fresh rounds for a successful pregnancy. All the best
Its the toughest journey by far. I am sometimes not sure how I made it.there have been down days for sure. We had had 3 cycles of ivf and 5 transfers and finally a bfp? all the women on here are doing it and so will you. You are amazingly strong and a warrior remember that xxxx
Thanks, I feel a lot better today thanks to all of your comments. I’m just going to take my time and just breath for a bit and not get all wrapped up in stuff that really makes no difference to me at all in my life. I’m going to focus on getting that bfp xx
You keep going because you have to, because you know this is the only way you'll get your aby...i promise it really is enough to keep you going conpared to the alternative 😘
And just sometimes, a minor victory or step forward makes the set backs that little bit more bearable...plus like others have said, we're bloody warriors and we're hard core 😉 xx
I've recently just joined this forum, as much as it's upsetting to see people's posts it is in some way comforting to know that there are so many other woman in the same boat.
I've had my closet friend tell me she knows what it's like TTC because it took her 6 months to become pregnant with her second child! I don't think anyone can really understand this rollercoaster journey until you have been through it, I've just had a failed cycle and there was so many highs and lows!
I hope everyone keeps going and we all get what we dream of 😘 Xx
I know exactly how you feel, it makes you so angry to hear how easy it is for what seems like everyone around you, not that you wish this on anyone else. Just try and take one day at a time and one appointment at a time and you will get there. You are stronger than you think xx
I have acupuncture - it helps but I think I just need to be more positive rather than thinking it’s over before it’s begun. I do this to try and minimise the damage it does when it doesn’t work out. There are very high emotions involved and sometimes keeping a lid on it is sooo hard!xx
Hi, I am due my first IVF cycle in April and we've been trying to conceive for 3 years. I have been level headed up until Recently and had some real low moments of feeling hopeless and I am also scared that it won't work. Xx
Thank you, I’m only going to do one cycle so I’m really praying that everything goes right but like the ladies say it can take a few goes to be successful - that concerns me but we will see xx
It's a very personal journey and everyone is different. I feel as the time is getting closer I should feel happier or more positive but I sorta don't....it tends to be mornings and evenings where I feel sorry for myself but then I take the dog for a walk, clean out my chickens and appreciate what I've got and nature around me and that makes me feel better and more positive. We haven't discussed how many times, I guess we'll just see how we get on emotionally and physically. It's hard but we can do it girl! Xxx
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Struggling so much today
Time off after transfer...
Time off stress - first FET
**Sensitive** 12 weeks pregnant, coming off IVF meds and nervous - advice needed
And we’re off! Finally 🥳
