So last week after receiving the awful letter to say none of our 11 remaining embryos made it to freeze after day 6 I decided the test the day after and to my utter delight but surprise got our BFP 😍 Don't think I've ever felt so happy about anything In my life. Since than I've been paranoid maybe we tested too early (7dp5dt) so was doing a test everyday to double check. As we hadn't told anyone about our IVF we then decided time to tell both parents the happy new, they were over joyed.
On Thursday (9dp5dt) I started with light spotting (brown) read a few things which said it's nothing to worry about, rang the clinic they said the same. On Saturday I rang the Hewitt to tell them I had a BFP but still bleeding on and off and it's sometimes a little pink. They told me I had to sit it out and if I have a heavy bleed to test 5 days after but had provisionally booked my scan for 20th march. On Sunday I woke up to it a lot heavier and we went straight to the EPU. They were great, couldn't scan me as I was just under 5 weeks but they examined me and said my womb was closed which was a good sign. They did a urine prey test though which came back negative but they said it would just be that it's not picking up my levels as I wasn't 6 weeks and not to worry. I went to work yesterday but then went to the toilet at lunch to find lots more bleeding and some stringy clots too 😢 I'm so devastated, went to the hospital but as they say there really is nothing they can do to prevent it. They have told me to go home and rest. I literally feel like in the space of a couple of days my life has been span around. I've never felt so down and low about anything. The EPU have said I can go for a scan 1 week today but I already know it's over. I tested last night and the line seems faint already. I thought I was a pretty strong person until this. I've got so many things going round in my head, I can't eat, I can't sleep I feel like I want to lock myself away but then in the same breath I want to talk to people. My OH is on a really important job this week and I don't want him to see how badly this is affecting me. I'm not worrying that what if this pulls us apart and he leaves me or he finds comfort in someone else due to me being an absolute mess. I'm really scared. I've told work I need time off but even that's scaring me like what if they end up using an excuse to get rid of me and I have no job. I really don't know where to go from here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭