We had our follow up after our...

We had our follow up after our last failed nhs attempt.

I wasn't expecting much but wow they have disappointed me even more than I expected.

Ok I know ivf is not a exact science and we don't always know why it Doesn't work , but please bear in mind that my review before this round they told me my egg quality is rubbish and it would be detrimental for me to start after January I needed to start August. We did postpone till December.

It was a different consultant who basically sat there and said well it didn't work we have no idea why, when asked would they do anything any different he said no , erm well we have had 2 rounds with you and it didn't work so surely you either tell me look it's not going to work don't waste your time or well your eggs are knackered try donnor eggs or well we would probably try bla bla bla.

I'm just so frustrated that he couldn't tell me anything and so disappinted that they were happy enough to send us away like that.

We where going to look into donor egg in uk ( we where never going to use our clinic) but don't even know if it's worth doing now.

Now which way do you turn ☹ ?!! I' so fed up I felt like I was just getting back on my feet and someone's just smacked me in the face with a shovel again .

Sorry ladies I always seem to be moaning these days.

Xx

[7AVA]

So hard Cocker_crazy it’s rubbish when they just shrug their shoulders. Have you got another clinic nearby where you could get a consultation? You should be able to request your notes from initial clinic. Good luck xxx

[Hidden in reply to 7AVA]

It certainly is I'm just amazed how rubbish they have made us feel again, we have already requested notes that's the first thing I did after coming out of consultation well apart from chuntering about how rubbish he was 🤣.

I do have a clinic in mind which is miles away from us, I'm just not sure how much they can tell us without doing tests.

Is it worth going for a chat with them, I need to loose weight again , so not looking to start till later in year x

[Dunla]

I understand your frustration. I have had very disappointing review appointments in the past that left me feeling really deflated and pretty angry actually.

Perhaps you could have a consultation at another clinic. You can get your existing notes from your current clinic for a small admin fee.

After our 4th IVF failed I was completely ready to throw in the towel. I ended up taking a year off from it all and am now just started my 5th cycle, donor eggs this time.

xx

[Hidden in reply to Dunla]

This is actually how I feel, we have requested our notes already, I'm actualy shocked they said they are free.

If you go with your notes can they actually tell you much without doing tests?

I really need to get more weight off first so not looking to start till later in the year but also need some more reassurance as well at the same time does that make sence.

Good luck with your new cycle x

[Dunla in reply to Hidden]

The only tests our new clinic did when we switched was my AMH and sperm analysis for my husband as they said their lab would have slightly different results than that of our previous clinic. Everything else they could deduce from existing notes on the two treatment cycles we’d had by that stage.

At that point I found it really helped to have a sort of fresh start at a new clinic.

I totally understand your need for reassurance. You could maybe go ahead with a consultation with a view to have treatment a few months down the line.

Thanks for your good wishes. Had baseline scan this morning and it’s full steam ahead. Starting more meds tomorrow. Hoping for embryo transfer end of the month.

Here’s hoping 2018 is going to be a great year for us both xx

[Hidden]

Awww right great, will definatly look into get a consultation with new clinic once we get our notes, I think going now and maybe getting some piece of mind that we do have option or if we don't then at least we don't find out 6 months down the line !

I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you get your BFP.

Definaly hoping 2018 is a good year for both of us xx

[E_05]

Totally understand your frustration, I can’t believe how unhelpful your consultant was! Is there another consultant you could see or another clinic near by? Hopefully you get some answers that way xx

[Hidden in reply to E_05]

I requested the consultant cause I thought he would be good, how wrong can you be lol.

I think we are swaying towards going to another clinic with notes and hopefully they can help us, I thought they would just want to run their own test first before committing to what they think as when we moved clinics in nhs they weren't intrested in notes from other hospital x

[tiger-cub]

Totally feel u gurl . After a failed cycle consultants simply leave us in our sorrows with no answers . This is d worst situation ever . In life we r always taught to hobby logic . Somehow when it comes to ivf no logic only gamble . Plz take care of urself . Xx

[Hidden in reply to tiger-cub]

Thank you, it's just like they have no empathy ! Walked out the clinic like failures 😕. I'm sure we will pick ourselfs up, none of this journey is easy. X

[Fredaflintstone]

Hi there, your nhs follow up sounds as pointless as ours was! I guess at least we it had ours they said donor or nothing.

Why do you think donor treatment wouldn’t work for you? It would be worth going to a clinic to see what they think. Request a copy of your nhs notes to take along with you xx

Sorry just seen you end already requested your notes. Our clinic worked from our notes and didn’t run loads of new tests. We didn’t have to have some bloods done again subsequently eg hiv, hep b etc because they only last for so long but we got those done at NHS clinic and laidback £45 got results letter.

Good luck for the future when you are ready xxx

[Hidden in reply to Fredaflintstone]

I only think donor wouldn't work if it was implantation that was the issue and not eggs since they couldn't tell us either way .

I think we will go along to the clinic I fancy for donor and see what they say, maybe it will give us some hope again, and then take some time to get fit ect.

Xx

[Fredaflintstone in reply to Hidden]

It sounds like a consultation is definitely worthwhile xx

[Cinderella5]

It's so frustrating isn't it! Although we basically got told that it would be likely egg quality was the issue they did say that there was no reason why it didn't work and I could have gotten pregnant with any of my 3 good embryos. They just can't say for sure and like you felt so frustrated but at least we got told after my tries they reckoned I'd only have around a small chance of it ever working my my own eggs and donor eggs were the way forward for us. My AMH was 7.19 and other ladies on here have gotten pregnant older with less eggs and worse AMH, I suppose that part is just down to luck which I seem to be out of. When I got my copy notes, cost me £25 they quoted "poor egg quality due to age" as the "most likely" reason so it might be worth getting your notes to take to a new clinic?xx

[Hidden in reply to Cinderella5]

We have requested our notes which are free which seems strange but hey ho, I'm not going to knock a back a freebie 😊.

It's very frustrating he certainly wasn't a strong consultant that I thought he would be he seemed to struggle to bring any sence to it at all more intrested in describing the emotional struggle of a BFN, I really didn't need him to tell me how I felt 🙈. Needed him to realise he wasn't helping. He didn't have any way forward other than what we had done twice already. I will hope my notes give more away xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Hidden]

No, not helpful at all really! Hopefully you get some more answers in your notes. Defo dont knock a freebie, dont get many of them in this business!xx

[StephyBuch]

It's really awful when they stop your clinically aided fertility owing to the reason that you're over the covered age or have had your first attempt failed which was only covered one. I can only feel your devastations - it's not easy to deal with infertility in the first place and now this. But don't lose hope, there's got be some way - maybe an alternate clinic that's affordable for private funded IVF rounds - be it inland or abroad. I believe help comes to those who never stop looking. About DE ask someone on your side if they could donate eggs that way the genetic pool remains same. Good Luck dear one.. hope you find a way out soon. XOXO

[Hidden in reply to StephyBuch]

Thank you x

[StephyBuch in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome dear one !!

[emu2016]

Oh honey. What a nightmare. I remember being so frustrated after being shoved from pillar to post for 3-4 years being misdiagnosed. No one had answers.

If you can get to that other clinic even if just for a chat; do. It’s just not acceptable to have no answers. Have they done recent AMH and AFC tests? X

[Hidden in reply to emu2016]

They haven't done AMH tests in about 2 years since we first started going, they did do some tests for implation after our 2nd BFN but they were fine and didn't really tell us what the tests where.

Considering i was refered for ivf due to blocked tubes at my first clinic , this clinic have certainly turned me into unexplained infertility very easily, which is very frustrating.

Once we get our notes we are going to go to the new clinic we fancy and see what they say, hopefully they will be more supportive and helpful .

We have been on the gin tonight , it's made us experts in everything, as well as making us feel a bit better 😉xx

[cls37]

Hi, im so sorry that you have had such a bad experience. It is so frustrating when you want answers and want to be able to ‘fix’ things so everything can be ok next time. This is one of the hardest things 😥sending hugs and hope that a change in clinic will help give you some answers xx

[Hidden in reply to cls37]

Thank you, hey they certainly can' do any worse 🤣.

I hope you are doing ok xx

[cls37 in reply to Hidden]

I’m ok thank you..... back on the waiting game waiting for results and to see the consultant again!!!! X

[ZessB]

The best decision we made after two failed cycles at a clinic that seemed to use the same formula for all was to ask for a copy our medical notes and leave! It meant we had to wait 6 months before going to our new clinic but at least we felt we were going in the right direction. The worst part of that other clinic was that they said our first two cycles had been a success. At that point I snapped and replied: I don't think we have the same definition of successful - there is still no baby here is there?. To this, the consultant had an awkward laugh I will never forget. I stood up and left - a complete moron!!

Anyway fast forward 1 year and I am now 12 weeks 6 days pregnant and have 6 beautiful blastocysts in the freezer which shows sometimes you just need a fresh pair of eyes to come up with a better protocol.

Good luck with it all. Keep faith xx

[Hidden in reply to ZessB]

Thank you, congratulations on your pregnancy 😊.

We have requested our notes that's the first thing I did coming out of our meeting. I've also sent a snotty email to the clinic telling them what I think of there meeting, I don't expect to get anywhere but it made me feel better getting it off my chest because all I did was cry yesterday again.

I think these clinics forget we are human and we are fighting for our dreams of a life time it' so sad that they can't be a bit more sensitive ( not the right word but you know what I mean.)

Xx

[ZessB in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely get what you mean! Some of them are clearly in the wrong job and should get transferred to another hospital department. Hope your journey gets you where you dream of going soon xx