Fertility Network UK
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Starting ICSI tomorrow but what to tell work?!

So had our planning appointment today.. the first one of the year and we've been told we can start injections tomorrow! Talk about good timing. We have all the gear and ready to go and I'm on a long cycle. Very nervous about injections, but lots of people has said it's not as bad as all that and hubs has been very proactive in saying he will help.

Just really don't know about what to do about telling work. I'm only 4 months into new job (just passed probation) and have 3 male directors... one I report directly to.

The prob is I only have stat sick pay which kicks in after 7 days and even then it's only £89 a week. They have said they will consider people on a case by case basis but that means I would have to fess up. Whilst they are really lovely people and it's a good company to work for.. I'm worried I will get treated differently. I'm the only female on the senior team and don't want to be passed over and left out of things.

Do I just tell them I have to have a Gynae op? And see what they say? Or do you think I should tell the truth?

I have an event on the week I am due to have egg collection so can't really take holiday easily! Help

4 Replies

I work in a female dominated HR department and fessed up to my boss about my treatment. I felt that would be easier in the Long run in case I was sick etc. All the best x

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I feel your pain, I really worried about telling work but they have been very supportive. My manager is female however and had IVF herself! I would feel differently in your position so you might want to be vague and say you’re having a gynae op. That’s enough to make most men not want to press further anyway lol! One thing, I actually recently joined a union as I felt I’d have better protection should I feel I was ever being treated differently due to being honest about treatment etc. Always remember it is illegal for them to do that so you shouldn’t feel you can’t be honest but understand in practice it’s not that easy!

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Thanks ladies. I work for a ltd company so no unions to rely on. There is an HR lady that im mates with but don't know if her loyalties would lie with the biz if I told her in confidence. Gah I'm stressing about it. You guys are lucky. Thanks for replying though x


Hi, I haven’t told work and managed a whole cycle without telling them and currently doing a FET and don’t intend on telling them either.

It’s not that they will not understand, it’s just not that significant a time you take in between scans and transfers that your work cannot allow the time off and pass it as you having something checked at the docs so to speak that needs more investigation but it’s not serious just needs sorting.

When I was going for regular scans I just said I was going to the doctors as I was having a scan and am likely to need a few but I always came into work the same day. I tried to get appointments first thing in the morning or late afternoon where I could but that was not always possible.

I didn’t find that the time off was significant enough to have to justify it to the level of them knowing my story.

The whole process is over in a few weeks in total so the time off with scans etc is very temporary in the grand scheme of things.

I am not sure how far your clinic is from work. Mine was luckily only about half an hour away so at the most the scans were less than half an hour and I was back at work usually within an hour and a half. I would put the time in later if needed.

The only time I took off was one day for egg collection & egg transfer! I was back at work the next day as I really didn’t need time off during my TWW as all I would have done is sat at home and I wasn’t sick! These two days, I took off my holiday allowance as I didn’t want to call in sick and I wasn’t concerned about losing 2 days holiday.

I know some girls struggle with OHHS, which I did not, so of course this will be different but you don’t know this will happen.

Unless you want to take time off after egg collection and transfer, which I know many girls do, this will be more of an issue. I however really didn’t think it was necessary to have time off and my clinic actually encouraged me to carry on as normal. The only other day is the day after egg collection you might want to take off as you can be in a bit of discomfort the next day. With transfer this took less than half an hour and it was done, so had I known I would have just gone back to work that afternoon but I had taken the day off anyway.

I know everyone is different, unless you feel better sharing and expect to take significant time off, not sure they need to know all the details. You could just tell them you have a few hospital appointments you need to attend and may need them to be patient. Not sure you have to tell them why as you can always say you want to keep it confidential for now!

I know with new jobs it is tough, I couldn’t really share this at my work as I work in a fast paced sales environment and handle large accounts and so they would already start planning a successor and I might not even ever get pregnant! Lol

It’s very individual but it really depends how much time you feel you need during the process.

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