Literally feel like there have been s... - Fertility Network UK

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Literally feel like there have been so many pregnancy announcements over Christmas, really struggling!

Bella_12 profile image
9 Replies

So many people have announced their pregnancies over Christmas and more today! Finding it really difficult and feel it’s so unfair that other people get it so easy and it will soon be 5 years since we’ve been hoping for our miracle! Sorry to rant just am really struggling today 😢

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Bella_12 profile image
Bella_12
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9 Replies
S-Joys profile image
S-Joys

I feel exactly the same! I am currently going through ivf and really struggling with everyone's what a wonderful year 2017 has been. It's just so hard to keep positive.

E_05 profile image
E_05

Pregnancy announcements are always tough especially over Christmas, have you thought about coming off social media for a bit or just unfollowing people who upset you?

I totally get the feeling of being unfair, I’ve had 2 announcements close to the family since miscarrying and I can’t help but feel bitter. Rant away here, that’s what we’re here for xx

Prickler profile image
Prickler

Same here. I’m always happy for them but part of me hurts so much because we want it. Xx

It’s hard isn’t it? I’ve just had my third announcement of the festive period. I find it hardest when people put it in their Christmas cards actually... takes all the pleasure away from looking at the card!

I thought I was doing ok but the third announcement has just come from an ex, whose wife had to have ivf for the first baby 2 years ago but now they’ve had a surprise natural pregnancy, I guess I am especially jealous because it’s someone I’m really close to who knew how hard it is, and now he’s got a miracle that our case means we probably won’t ever have.

It just comes in waves- sometimes I can deal with it ok and then sometimes I don’t feel ok about it. Like all things infertility related, it’s a roller coaster but we are strong enough to ride it, no question!

Bella_12 profile image
Bella_12 in reply toLizzielizzielizzie

Yes it’s very hard. Not had it in a Xmas card this year but I’ve seen so many posts on social media, it is like a kick in the gut when I see them, it’s a horrible feeling. My feelings come and go in waves, yesterday I was having a complete pity party for 1 and today I’m feeling a bit better. No one knows about the real struggles I have, not even my boyfriend. we use to talk about it all but then he started to feel pressure (and had problems getting it up - sorry tmi) so we then stopped talking about it. At times I feel really lonely, I feel that if I spoke to my family or friends about how I really feel they would think I was weird as they have never been through it before. Everyone else in my family have no fertility issues, they all have children and I’m like the black sheep, the odd one out. It’s really hard to cope with it sometimes but here is the only place I think anyone might understand. I secretly hope that by this time next year I will be expecting but I’ve been thinking that for 4 years now and still nothing!

NsKaz profile image
NsKaz

So tough. This time last year I had 7 friends tell me in 2 weeks (and I was on clomid which didn’t help!) i generally don’t look at / go on social media anymore as every time I do it’s another announcement/scan or bump /baby shower/picture of a happy family. I know that sounds awful but I just found it so hard, I had to completely disengage from it all. It’s about self-care I think - if you can minimise or control that little bit of heartbreak / pain then do. Xx you have to look after yourself. This journey is hard enough xx wishing you all the best for 2018 xx

Bella_12 profile image
Bella_12 in reply toNsKaz

I keep thinking of coming off it, maybe I should have a break for a little while. Still I guess il always hear when someone’s expecting at least the social media way I will see when I’m by myself so I don’t have to paint a fake smile and congratulations on my face! I wish you all the best on your journey too!💫xx

Claire_Mitch profile image
Claire_Mitch

Really sympathise with you!!! I’ve had two new babies born in the family over the Xmas period and then there’s my best friend (who never wanted children but changed her mind at 42 and got preggers at the drop of a hat and is now six months along!) I’ve taken off all my whatsapp notifications now as was getting a stream of baby updates and pics, I didn’t want to come off the group altogether but this way I can just not look, they don’t pop up on my phone screen etc. We had a few days away over new year as a treat before our next ivf and my bro in law (who’s just had the new baby and knows our whole journey) actually messaged he’d rather be on holiday than be getting a few hours intermittent sleep. I had to stop myself messaging back saying I’d give up holidays indefinitely if I could only be having sleepless nights because I had a perfect newborn baby in my arms! 😡😡😡😡 I really sympathise with you, sending hugs xx

Kempton profile image
Kempton in reply toClaire_Mitch

I can't stand stupid comments like your brother in law's. These people really have no understanding whatsoever about how much a baby means to you when you try and fail to get pregnant over and over again. At least you know when you become a mother you'll never take it for granted as so many people do!

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