What other options are there after IVF?

[SRS8]

My hubby and I have been TTC for 3 years and have had 2 IVF cycles this year, the most recent of which resulted in a BFP. However at 6 weeks I had a miscarriage.

I am completely broken and struggling to get over the heartache but I’m not ready to give it all up yet.

We have decided to give IVF another go in the new year, but if this cycle doesn’t work, I want to know what other options I have.

I have read about adoption and surrogacy but don’t know who I should speak to for a bit of advice. It all seems like a mine field.

Does anyone have any experience or thinking along the same lines?

[Hidden]

I'm in the same boat and currently in the 2 ww of our last cycle. I don't want to do any more cycles and if this isn't successful we will adopt. You have to wait six months after your last treatment to start the adoption process which takes approx six months to complete so not a quick process.

We attended an Information evening run by our local council which is really helpful so have a look if your council do them. There's nothing stopping you attending them whilst you're still doing ivf you just can't go any further xx

[louisear]

hi, I'm so sorry for your loss having been through the same this year it takes time to heal and you never really get over it. We, like yourselves are considering options and thinking about adoption and have a follow up appointment in a couple of weeks to discuss options in more detail. Did you have treatment private or NHS? Either way someone should be able to give you some info and point you in the right direction.

[SRS8]

Hi, we were lucky that our first two cycles were funded by the NHS, so anything going forward will be private.

I’ve heard surrogacy can become expensive paying for bills, etc.

Do you know why you have to wait 6 months after you IVF cycle to begin the adoption process?

Does anyone know the likelihood of adopting a baby? It sounds like a very slim chance from what I have read.

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

We also found an adoption information evening run by our county was helpful.

You also have the option of paying for further tests to try to find out more about your underlying issues if you don’t already know. Going for surrogacy is a great option if you know that your womb is why you are miscarrying but that might not solve your problem if that’s not why you miscarried if that makes sense.

I have had two miscarriages can tell you that it gets easier to cope with time but the grief can come in waves. I hope you will soon have more good days than bad x

[Hidden]

Hi dear,

Sorry to hear things are not going great... I can imagine how you feel...

I am soon starting IVF, I want to give It 1-2 tries, but if it doesn't work I have decided that maternity is more important than biological-maternity for me, and would like to go into adoption.

We went to an Information evening a couple of months ago. You can contact any agency near you and join for the next event they have. It was very useful. Actually since then I have been thinking that adoption is something I would like to do even if I have my own child. It is a different way of becoming a parent, difficult (none is easy) but I believe rewarding. It is a very personal thing but It is something you could consider, and going to an info event could be very useful to make up your mind.

Hope you all the best

Xxx

[Hidden]

Sorry! Forgot to say that I believe UK is a good country for national adoption.

The chances are not slim, but you have to open your mind: having a newborn is unlikely, but if you consider todlers or couples of sibilings the process can be pretty fast.

[SRS8]

Thankyou all for your advice. I’ll start looking in to these events in the new year.

[Cyantist]

Unlike most people here adoption was our first choice after we failed to conceive. Unfortunately we were told we wouldn't be able to adopt and so we had to try icsi then. However the reason we wouldn't be approved isn't a nationwide requirement and so I'm not trying to say you wouldn't be approved. I think our area is just really fussy!

We still desperately want to adopt and having been to several adoption meetings/days and working with the social workers I really think it's an amazing thing to do.

A close friend of my sister adopted fairly recently and asked for a child up to age 5 and they got a 10 month old little boy and couldn't be happier. However that is quite unusual and usually the children are older. I was told whether you get a baby is often linked to your age, as they often like to place very young children with younger parents.

You have to wait 6 months to make sure you've accepted not becoming a biological parent and that you're fully invested in adopting. And it's definitely worthwhile giving yourself that time.