Making the transition from my eggs to donor eggs...

[Claire_Mitch]

*** I accidentally removed the 'tags' on this post the first time round, so not sure it's posted in the right place - reposting just in case, sorry if I'm duplicating!!***

Hi everyone! So I think I'm finally accepting that my egg quality just isn't going to cut it, certainly not worth spending endless money on the little critters sadly.. I'm 41 with amh level of 3.9. We got 7 eggs at my recent egg collection, which my consultant was amazed at, but only one embryo was any good and even that one wasn't the greatest (it was a not fully expanded blastocyst and wouldn't have been good enough to freeze, but we transferred it just in case).

I didn't even have to wait to test as I got my period before test day. Was gutted as ever but kind of resigned to it... My consultant's advice is to go with egg donation now - he said he "would never say it's impossible" for me to get preg/have a healthy baby with my eggs because he wouldn't use that word, but it's "very unlikely". I'd almost prefer "impossible" as the door is then completely closed! That tiny chance is a killer!

I'm feeling bad that we didn't try naturally this cycle straight after our failed ivf as you hear all these stories of "oh my friend did ivf, failed but then got pregnant naturally straight after..." Grrrr! But maybe that "friend's" problem wasn't very poor egg quality... Anyway we didn't try as I couldn't be bothered with another 2ww but I know I ovulated as I had loads of symptoms *sigh*. When it gets down to the wire like this I feel super-guilty if we miss a month or two of trying as it's like wasting an egg and what if that egg had been one of the 2% of mine that might be perfect. I am sooooo good at torturing myself! I know I should just "relax and have fun" with my husband but that's really just not possible when the outcome of that "fun" has such high stakes, i.e. having a baby or not.

Anyway, trying not to feel bitter, resentful, sorrowful, frustrated etc etc and hoping for some positive stories about egg donation??? Is anyone on here going down that route or do I need a separate forum? Would love to hear some happy egg donor stories and to know that, although there are extra considerations compared to using your own eggs, that it's possible to feel fulfilled and happy having a littlun via a donor egg... (I'm certain it is but I don't personally know anyone who's done it, so any advice and success stories gratefully received!) xxx

[Hidden]

We're just about to start egg donation treatment after 3 heartbreaking failed rounds of IVF & 1 miracle natural pregnancy which turned out to be ectopic. We've been trying every month for 4 years & it's taken over our lives. We've decided to have a break for a couple of months & I must admit I feel so much more relaxed now. I still feel sad that I will never have my own biological child but it's insane to keep trying when it's so unlikely & costing so much money. My AMH was 3.2 2 years ago & I'm pretty sure it has dropped substantially since then. Wishing you so much luck with your journey. I am sure there will be many succes stories people will share with you & everyone I have spoken to about it says that it never even occurs to them that it was a donor egg when they realise their dream xxxx

[Claire_Mitch in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the lovely sentiments Star1976! I often feel relaxed when we're on a break from trying too.. at least there's no symptom-checking and you can have a glass of wine without feeling guilty! I'm so sorry to hear of your heart breaking journey - it's so hard when you lose a pregnancy when it's through ivf as well as it's been so difficult just to get to that bfp stage. Big hugs to you xxx

[Fredaflintstone]

We're waiting for our donor egg FET. For me the transition was not too bad. I still have pangs of sadnes at not being able to have our own biological child but am so grateful to our donor and to science that we have the opportunity to try with donor eggs and I'm really excited about ir hopefully working this time around given the much better odds 🤞. A friend of our wider family and her DH had a little boy through donor egg and donor sperm and he looks like her and is so loved by her, his grandparents and all who know him. He's about 7 years old now.

It's also possible to join the donor conception network if you want to. They hold conferences and yo can meet other families who have conceived using donor eggs or sperm and get support. They also have resources to help navigate the question of whether to tell your child about the dooor egg and to help you do it, by using age appropriate books, if that's what you decide to do.

Wishing you all the best with your treatment. There are a few of us having donor egg ivf in here. Our transfer will probably be around 18 Sept. are you waiting to be matched with a donor? Xx

[Claire_Mitch]

Oh so much luck to you for your donor FET!!! That's lovely to hear about the little boy you know, and thanks for the tip about the donor conception network, I checked it out and that seems really useful and supportive

I am also excited about trying donor eggs, as well as a little apprehensive, but it will be great to know the eggs will be at least better quality than mine and I can hopefully feel more excited about the chance of success We are probably going to use the egg bank that our clinic has, so there's no waiting list - have our initial appointment to discuss it all on 7th Sept!

All the very best to you for 18th Sept! Xxx