A little update - not posted for a long time

[DC13]

I have not posted on here for a very long time but I do pop in and out of the forum to see how people are doing. I am kind of in two minds to post (mainly due to recent posts and also because I am such a private person and no family members have ever know of our journey).

Anyways here goes.

After 6 failed ICSI cycles using my own eggs we moved onto DE abroad. My fresh DE round resulted in a positive pregnancy and we finally hoped we might have a bundle of joy. Unfortunately we miscarried in January. I quickly went for a FET as we had been told that if we could cope with it so quickly after a miscarriage that is could have benefits in getting pregnant again. A BFN.

So where am I now. Well I took a break over summer and I am now in the middle of a mock cycle and I am due to fly out this week to have some biopsies and tests performed to see if they can look for a better implantation window. The biopsies etc will be performed on 25August and ironically that was our anticipated due date.

I kind of think that I should mark the occasion but alas having my legs trussed up like a turkey is maybe not what I had in mind - ha ha.

Can I ask if there are any ladies out there that did mark their anticipated due dates. This is not meant in any morbid way at all and I just would be interested.

So what happens next for us will depend on the biopsies and determining the optimal implantation window. I am due to start my real cycle towards the end of September with an anticipated transfer around mid October. If any other ladies are in the same boat it would be nice to be in contact.

I have to say I have been struggling a bit of late and thinking I should maybe start to learn to accept my fate. I have been doing loads of cycling and joined a ladies cycling group and entered cycling events - which I am enjoying and a little part of me resents going through it again. I know this is just my coping mechanism and my way of looking forward.

I just can not leave those remaining 4 embryos in the freezer . I know we are lucky to even have that as an option. I also know that once they are gone - that is the end of the road for us.

Anyway - waffle over.

Good luck to all you out there whatever your circumstances.

xxx

[7AVA]

Hi DC13, really nice to read your post. I cycle 🚲 too and have done a few big rides lately (nearly 50 milers which is long for me!) and I was also thinking of joining a cycling group as I think it would be a welcome distraction from thinking about fertility.

I too suffered a loss and commemorated the due date (or thereabouts) by going to one of my favourite places which involved walking up a mountain. At the top I spent a few moments thinking and saying good bye. If I'm honest it didn't feel like it had helped a lot at the time but I think it did. I didn't feel the need to do the same this year.

Wishing you luck on your journey xxx