Big fat period 11 days after transfer 😔

[Bibble-2016]

So, title says it all. How on earth do you start to get your head round putting all that effort in for weeks and months, to get nothing for it. Oh my god, ivf is so hard. Lots of love and respect to everyone who is/has gone through similar. Takes guts and courage xxxx

[Lou9]

So so sorry to hear this. You are incredibly strong and brave for putting yourself through it. Life can be very unfair. Thinking of you. X

[Hannah143]

So sorry to hear your news, it's heartbreaking. Nothing can prepare you for that feeling I'm afraid, try to be kind to yourself and take some time out with your hubby to do some nice things as a couple. Time is a healer and you will heal and build up your strength. Sending you lots of love and hugs on this difficult day xx

[Hampshiregal]

Oh no. Don't know what to say sweetie. I've been there and it's horrible. Thinking of you xx

[Bibble-2016]

It truly is awful isn't it. And people who haven't faced this just have no idea. I know in time I'll recover but today it's grim. Sorry to lower the tone haha! Least I can still smile through the tears ! Xx

[E_05]

So sorry to read this, it is so heart breaking. In time you will build your strength back up, look after yourself x

[Tugsgirl]

I'm really sorry to read this xx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you, it helps to know I'm not alone. But still stings. It's awful watching husband sad too. But hey. Good luck to you in your 2ww, fingers crossed 🤞 Xxx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Bibble-2016]

I know bfns are hard because I had one, it's the reason I fear one on my next otd... please be kind to yourself and do something nice xx

[Hidden]

Oh I am just so so sorry. There really is nothing harder. Just remember how brave you are, fighting for your dream. Take some time to recover and consider your next steps, although I know that now isn't the right time for that.

Be gentle with yourself , we are all thinking go you and are all here anytime if you need to share xxxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. The support from the ladies on here is amazing and helps you get through. Would have felt so alone if I didn't have this. Xxx

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear this. It really sucks xx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Hidden]

Absolute pants isn't it. My hit of caffeine (tea & chocolate) isn't softening the blow either 🙁 Boooo! Xx

[CountryCat]

So sorry to read this! Not a consolation, but you are immensely brave. I really wish things had worked out differently. Thinking of you xxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to CountryCat]

Thank you countrycat. Just nursing my woe then will regroup and rethink. Xxx

[Hidden]

No advice but I wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your sad news. This journey can be so bloody cruel. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way xoxo

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Hidden]

Oh thank you so so much, fingers crossed all is good for you xxxxx

[xjess_icax]

So sorry to hear this. I'm yet to go through treatment. But I can completely sympathise with the disappointment. Take care xx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to xjess_icax]

Thank you, good luck for your treatment xxxx

[NsKaz]

I'm so so sorry to hear this. It's just heart breaking and like u say after all the weeks and months leading up to it. I really don't have any advice I'm afraid; my bfn was 3 weeks ago today & my best friend has just had her little boy today. I want to be happy for her but I just feel so sad and empty. Thank god for this forum is all I can say. Wishing you all the best in your future journey. Here if u need to rant / talk xxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to NsKaz]

Sorry for your bfn, was it your first cycle? It's like you know the statistics and try to be realistic but it's still bloody devastating. And like you there are pregnant people all around me. It breaks my heart to think that might never be me. Truly heartbreaking. Look after yourself in these tough times. Thank you for your message, this forum is such a great thing in these dark hours and days xxx

[NsKaz in reply to Bibble-2016]

Yeah it was my first cycle. I know I need to stay positive and in a way I'm proud of myself cos I've dealt with it better than I thought I would, but it's still hard xx totally agree this forum is a lifesaver! Wishing you all the best and that you get the bfp soon! Xxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to NsKaz]

And you. Look after yourself and definitely be proud of what you have done. Xxx

[Rainbow_86]

So so sorry.... I can only imagine how you feel after the whole build up..... thinking of you... your so brave... try and treat yourself as much as you can and give yourself a break as you heal xx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Rainbow_86]

Thank you. Such lovely words. Means such a lot xx

[Hormomalmess]

Sorry to read this. It's never easy. Lots of hugs xx

[lorraineb61]

So sorry to hear this - there's no easy way to deal with this. Take the time to yourselves, have a drink!!! Make sure you get your follow up consultation and see where you go xx

[Fredaflintstone]

So sorry to hear your sad news. I have been there too and it feels terrible. So painful. It does get easier but it's like grieving a big loss at first. Be kind to yourself. Sending you big hugs xxx

[Cinderella5]

I'm so sorry!! I've had this twice & it's bloody heart breaking!! Can't offer much advice apart from let yourselves have the time to grieve and plan something nice....oh & lots of cuddles, that is by far the most important thing!! Sending a big hug!!xx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you so much. I can't imagine coping with the same result another time. I know it's too early to make plans but I just feel stuck now 😢 Xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Bibble-2016]

It is difficult & we all have different ways of coping. Don't make any rash decisions just now! Look after yourselves!xx

[Mariec7]

Hi Bibble

Trying to sound positive....have you had the blood test yet?

It is hard. I find that doing the IVF then egg collection then transfer can all be very stressful on the body not to mention the emotional ups and downs. Will you be having a FET?

Take a well deserved break and look after you xxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Mariec7]

Hi - no unfortunately we didn't get any frozen embryos. We went from 'top grade' day 2. To middle of the road day 5. As my husband is older (50) and had reversed vasectomy I wonder whether there could be sperm issues which may affect embryos. The thought of going through this again to get the exact same result is awful. And I'm just stuck on thinking I will never have a family. Oh this is so hard 😢 Xx

[Mariec7 in reply to Bibble-2016]

Personally I wouldn't give up hope especially if it was your first round? I have put a cap on how many cycles I will go through but I know of people who go through 10+. Easy to say but stay positive and hopeful. None of us know what can happen. We are all facing hurdles in our journey but we need to try and keep going if we can xxxxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Mariec7]

Ah thank you so much, kind words. Yes will go to review and see what they have learnt from this round and where we go from here. Xxx

[Aleelilook]

I'm so sorry, a bfn is so awful as like you say you put everything into it with no result, and of course we all hope so much that it makes it so crushing, my thoughts are really with you. However you will get stronger again, and the frustration and pain will ease in time, you just need to be kind to yourself now, one day at a time my lovely xxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Aleelilook]

Thank you - I've been reading your posts about sperm DNA. My husband is 50 and had vasectomy reversal with varying results on several samples. I'm wondering too whether despite icsi he has some issues affecting our embryo progression as on day 2 we had top grade embryos. Day 5 it had become 2 middle of the road. Maybe I'm reading too much into it at this early stage but the thought of doing all of this again for the exact same outcome is awful. A part of me is wondering whether we should just give up chasing something that doesn't seem to be in our reach. But I'm probably being a. It dramatic in the midst of emotions and grief 😢. Hope you get some progress you really deserve it xxxx

[Aleelilook in reply to Bibble-2016]

Thank you lovely 😊 I would definitely ask your consultant these questions, as they should make changes next time round and do further tests if you decide to go again, but my advice now is don't make any huge decisions just yet, you're on a massive come down if nothing else from all the drugs, So you're going to be doubly shit! Have you got people you can talk to? Apart from us motley crew?! Xxxxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Aleelilook]

I've got some lovely friends who are great. But I think it's hard for anyone to understand fully isn't it. You're right about all the meds, I forgot about the hormone cocktail of the last 6 weeks!!! Xx

[Aleelilook in reply to Bibble-2016]

Totally, unless you've been through it it's very hard to understand the enormity of what we are facing x you can always talk to the counsellor at your clinic, might help to put some things in order as it were, but if not always feel free to talk xxxxx

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Aleelilook]

Well I saw the counsellor last year and she was a bit condescending- as if I was a small child over dramatising things and she said to me "you will have a child" and I just thought how on earth can you know that?! So it didn't feel that helpful. I might try a private therapist. Xxx

[Aleelilook in reply to Bibble-2016]

Oh Christ that sounds far from bloody helpful!! I have to say mine has been amazing, I've been seeing him since we started, for other reasons too, but primarily because I fell apart after the first failed round. Over the years I've seen various therapists (my mum died when I was 16 and I went a bit loopy!) anyway they just weren't right, so I think it just takes a while to find one that fits xx

[Hampshiregal in reply to Bibble-2016]

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here. But, I'm so shocked by what your counsellor told you. I have work a work colleague who says, it will happen and I find hurtful because, as you said no one knows. I know she's not intending to be unkind.

My counsellor was really helpful until she said something to me that I found very hard. She said, 'Life goes on even without children' and I know it does but I found that comment tough. I kinda stopped going after that.

Btw, my OH's sperm tested fine but every time we're been advised to use icis by the embryologist. We weren't sure if they just wanted a bit more cash out of us but they advised us against other add ons like the scratch, Eva etc.

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Hampshiregal]

Jump in all the way, it's great to hear people's stories and views. Yeah my friend and I often share bad counsellor stories. I think it is about finding that one who you fit with. People are a bit dense sometimes with what they say. You just think how the f do you know it's gonna happen?!! They mean well but it's BS! Aaarghhh!!! 😉 Xx

[Hampshiregal in reply to Bibble-2016]

I had a work colleague who took me out for coffe and cake. I thought how sweet, till I realised I couldn't get away. She decided to give me her advice. Which was how children can be bad for your relationship and how much I'm better off without them. She honestly thought she was being nice to me. (She has three boys)

Well, the cake was good ....

[Bibble-2016 in reply to Hampshiregal]

Oh god you really do realise who your friends are don't you. I know people mean well but they get it soooo wrong!!! Xx