I know this is about miscarria...

[E_05]

I know this is about miscarriage but some of it still read true for me about IVF,

'The difference between being happy for you and sad for me' 💔

stillstandingmag.com/2017/0...

[Clare_lou]

This is so poignant and so true. My oldest and closet friend has not spoken to me for 18 months after I told her I couldn't be around for a while when she announced she was pregnant (by text) a few weeks after my third loss. It still hurts that she has turned her back on me at the darkest, loneliest and most painful time of my life. I've tried to explain to a few of my friends why I've not been around for them but I know they don't understand.

And now we are facing infertility and failed ivf, and difficult decisions about what to do next and all of the implications that go along with this incredibly hard journey. You're right. The letter is absolutely applicable. The whole thing is just so incredibly unfair.

Thanks for posting. Makes me feel less alone.

[E_05 in reply to Clare_lou]

Ah I'm so sorry to read this but glad it has helped a little. I totally understand how you feel, one of my really good friends decided to send me a text of her 12 week scan whilst i waiting for hubby to come out of surgery (not for fertility but still) from that moment on our friendship changed, I was always going to struggle with her announcement but her insensitivity just made it worse.

Please never feel alone there's always people on here to talk to x

[Clare_lou in reply to E_05]

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm really sorry that you've struggled with a good friendship changing too. I have asked myself many times if I'm hypersensitive - which I know I have been through all of this! But I also know that I always try to be empathic towards others and would have liked the same in return from people.

I can't tell you how much this forum has helped me. It's so shitty that we're all here but so good to know there are such lovely, supportive women out there xx

[E_05 in reply to Clare_lou]

I think sadly it's one of the hardest parts about this journey not only what we have to go through physically/emotionally but the relationships we lose with friends and even family. Doesn't sound to me like your being hypersensitive about your friend maybe you could send her or other friends the like and see if helps them to understand.

Your so right before this forum I never thought I'd put myself through another cycle but after taking a little time out and speaking with my hubby knowing I have the support from everyone on here has helped so much xx

[Clare_lou in reply to E_05]

Sadly, that's been so true for me. I have become increasingly isolated and now even struggle with my mum and my sister because of their insensitivity and some really quite cruel comments they've made along the way. I have really struggled to forgive them.

Thank you. Maybe I will send them over that link...I don't know. Sometimes I think it's too late for that particular friendship...that really this experience has showed me that persons true colours. Who knows...maybe If I ever get off this ride I'll feel differently...?

It's so good that this forum has helped you gather the strength to keep going with your journey. It really is an amazing suppport! Xx

[E_05 in reply to Clare_lou]

So sorry to read that even your mum and sister are insensitive. It's even harder when its family - I've had a lot of problems from my SIL. I know it's hard to understand this unless your in it but you'd hope people would at least be able to have some empathy.

I do agree with you actually about friendship, another hard part of the journey you learn who really cares about you. Hope your doing okay xx

[Clare_lou in reply to E_05]

Thank you. I'm sorry you're having difficulties with your sister in law too. It is really hard. you're so right - I know lots of people who've been through difficult times and things that I don't have first hand experience of but I can still take a moment to put myself in their shoes!

I don't feel the same about my mum and my sister anymore. They act as if all of this is no big deal. Almost like nothing's happened. They have both seen that this very nearly broke me and they don't even ask how I'm doing or anything. It really hurts.

It's really sad but I don't actually think there has been one person in my life (aside from my partner) who has really shown me true care and empathy through all of this. I believe that I would have coped much better if I'd had some support around me....

That's why this forum's so amazing! Thank you for being so kind xx

[E_05 in reply to Clare_lou]

So sorry you feel so alone, this forum is definitely a massive source of support or if you ever want to talk more you can always PM me.

I agree with all you've said about trying to put yourself in other people's shoes if it was the other way round, I think with IVF people don't realise how much is involved either they seem to think it's this magic cure that gets women pregnant, how wrong they are! Make sure you look after yourself xx

[Clare_lou in reply to E_05]

Thank you for being so kind. I really appreciate it. It's so true what you say. Like it's all so easy!

I'm here too if you ever want to chat, rant or need a shoulder... xx

[Hidden]

So so so true.... days are good some days are bad hatred anger be pain all roll into one. TV adverts are painful especially the prem baby one, going shopping and waking down the aisle hurts that should have been me. We would be at the stage of weaning him onto solids and we are not instead we visit him sleeping each week at the cemetery....it pains me.

This reflects the pain the hurt and the very feelings....

Amazingly written

[E_05 in reply to Hidden]

So sorry for your loss, it truly is so heart breaking. Totally agree with all you've said, people don't realise that something like an advert which seems small to them has a massive impact on our lives every day x

[Tugsgirl]

Wow. I only have like 3 bff's and two of them are now pregnant. One with her second since we've been trying for a first. Thank you for sharing xx

[E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Ah that must be hard for you, I thought it was so honest when reading it x

[NsKaz]

Wow, completely resonated with me xx thanks for sharing xx

[lau_har1]

This brought tears to my eyes.. the words are so delicate, but true. I feel I can relate so much to those words. I have been toying with deleting my social media accounts because every time I see a pregnancy announcement, it just breaks my heart that little more and makes me long for a baby that little more. Makes me think I should of had three goes at being a mummy, but all three being taken away from me. Xx

[E_05 in reply to lau_har1]

So sorry for all your heart ache, I felt my heart breaking all over again when I read this article but it also made me think what an honest account of how hard it for us. I'm constantly toying with the idea of Facebook then decide against it cause don't want to feel like it's another thing I'm stopping because of infertility, it's such a hard journey xx