How to deal with it: Hi guys. Just a... - Fertility Network UK

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How to deal with it


Hi guys. Just a quick question. I am the type of person who plans the next action dependant upon the outcome. I obviously know what I would do if I got a positive test after our first round of ivf. However,how did you lovely ladies deal with a negative result. I am currently trying to tell myself I am pregnant until a test proves otherwise. However I'm not quite sure what I will do. I'm just starting round 1 x

9 Replies

Hey, I know it's hard cause I'm a right planner normally to but I personally wouldn't try and think about what to do if the result is negative. When I started my first cycle I never considered it could be negative just concentrated on doing everything in my power to support my treatment.

I think this journey is best taken day by day and until you've been through all the 'steps' to get either your BFP or BFN you don't know how your going to feel about it. After my 3rd cycle failed I was sure I would never put myself through another cycle but I took some time and spoke to a counsellor and all the lovely ladies on here and here I am just started my 4th cycle. Are you during your 2ww at the mo? X

Shannon1400 in reply to E_05

No I'm just starting out on first cycle. Currently waiting on AF. Thank you for your advice. I over think things and am a bit (a lot) of a control freak. Good things come to those who wait. X

E_05 in reply to Shannon1400

Ah okay, always the way she takes a while to show up when you want her most. They definitely do, I'm exactly the same and think that's one of the things I find hardest that all of this is out of my control, I know it's hard but try to keep positive x

Numb. I just felt this awful numb feeling, like I didn't know how I was ment to feel. Everyone gives you all the states, so the horrid truth is that it probably won't work - I told myself after. But that doesn't stop u hoping beyond all hope it will, because it does work for some first time! I wish u the best of luck it works for u first time, positive thinking is a strong thing! Unfortunately, if the worst happens, the only way to keep the dream alive is to go again. I'm currently on my 2ww on my 2nd cycle with all my fingers and toes crossed!xx

Shannon1400 in reply to Sjt82

Thank you for your honest answer. Really wish you the best of luck x

I knew that it hadn't worked the first time as I had started to bleed however, when the call came in that afternoon from the clinic confirming that it hadn't worked - I broke down. I had to leave work, go home - wasn't interested in speaking to anyone. I felt incredibly numb & alone.

Next day however, I was feeling much more positive & determined to try again. We are now in the down-reg stage of cycle 2 3 months later.

There is a feeling of loss as no matter what anyone says - I had a fully formed embryo inside me & unfortunately it wasn't quite prepared to stick it out.

Thank you for your reply. So sorry to hear that round 1 was unsuccessful. I'm going to book test day off work so don't have to face anyone. Wishing you the best of luck with round 2 xx


I had 4 failed cycles and each time was upset, angry why us etc, but each fail gave me more determination to carry on. Don't get me wrong it wasn't easy and we had to adjust and accept lots of changes but we got there in the end xxx

I would try not to worry yet, take everyday as it comes, one step at a time and all that jazz!!!

When we got our first negative I did fall apart, but partly because I had a lot of stuff I just hadn't dealt with in my past. I saw and still see a lovely counsellor who had helped me with a my madness! Second time after the miscarriage I just let myself grieve and be super sad, and after a lot of tlc we picked ourselves back up and we are currently on our third 2ww! We are all so different, and can never really know how we feel until the shit hits the fan, but if this site is anything to go by we are all far more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. Hopefully you will never have to find out the answer to your question and you'll get a bfp, but if the worse happens there are lots of lovely people who can help and support. Good luck! Xxx

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