Fertility Network UK
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Good response needed!!

Hi ladies hope you are all well. I'm going to a family party all this weekend and I'm not drinking. I am 9dp5dt today. Most of my family will be lovely I know but my SIL is a pain and has absolutely no intuition at all. If I'm not drinking I know she will blurt out probably very loudly, 'ARE YOU PREGNANT?!'. It's bound to happen, she is completely insensitive. I don't want to tell her anything as she's the kind of person who will try to give unwanted advice, when she has not been through anything like this before I know. Any advice for a good response? xx

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You can say that you are taking antibiotics due to an urine infection 😋....

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Yeah I had thought something like that. But she always does it and I feel I need to put her in her place. I thought of saying something like 'well that's a bit insensitive with everything we're going through' I think it would make her think about asking again, and also would really annoy her as she is really nosy & likes to know everything that's going on!! Sorry I'm being mean but I've had years of her saying when are u having kids, handing me other people's babies and generally inferring there is something wrong with us as we don't seem to want kids. So far from the truth!!!

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I have now spend three parties with a glass of wine in my hand for the all time. Once in a while I would put the glass down and my husband would drink it lol then I would comeback to an empty glass. Poor sod had to be driven home ... but nobody was none the wiser! A couple of times I pretended to have a OJ with champagne on it but in fact it was just OJ. Or a Bacardi and coke with no Bacardi... you just need to organise yourself... 👍 or my favourite one when people have in the past asked me if I was pregnant I just stared at them and said - no, am just fat! Made them feel really uncomfortable... nobody asked again!

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Oh yes my mum suggested this swapping drinks with my husband. She also keeps asking me what drinks look like wine so we can pretend, bless her heart ❤️

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Ha ha ha love the "Im just fat comment"!! Nice one!xx

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I truthfully was able to say yesterday at a work picnic that I got bitten on my leg and it got infected so am on antibiotics. Didn't stop an old colleague from saying 'there's a rumour that your pregnant' - I said 'no I've just put on weight' He said 'no you haven't' but that was that. Grr. Hope it goes well and good luck xx

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I've been telling people im not drinking as trying to lose weight and saving every penny for a holiday, they seem to believe that. And when they say "are you pregnant?" I say "no I am not" quite flatly and they drop it.

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Good one! 👍

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Ha I know all the excuses. I'm a bit spiritual so into my positive thinking etc. so one thing I'm not gonna say is I'm not pregnant, lol. Positivity is key!! 😃

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I like the idea of saying you are on meds, it gets you out of it. And if it were me I would put her in her place and say something like its a shame some people need to drink to be able to have a good time whilst looking at her..... :) xxx

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Ha ha!!! Amazing!! Love it xx

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This Saturday will be my 3rd boozy party. 1st one I just stool to orange. And said I was on antibiotics so no-one batted an eyelid. Last Saturday I got some non alcoholic drinks kopperberg. Still looks like real stuff but safe to drink. Will do same this weekend too xx

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Get a normal bottle of wine and empty it into another bottle and fill the empty one with non alcoholic wine 😊 That's what my mate did over xmas and no questions were asked! X

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The only problem with saying you're on antibiotics is that actually you can drink on almost all antibiotics. Not sure if anyone you know would know this, but if they did they might try and convince you that you are able to drink, or just put two and two together.

If you really want to avoid questions it's easier to just order drinks that look alcoholic. When I didn't want to tell people I'd ask hubby for a vodka and orange and he'd just get the orange. Or the non alcoholic kopparberg or non alcoholic wine is a good idea.

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I had this too. I just said that I got very drunk the night before after work and couldn't face drinking again. Everyone seems to believe that one. Not sure what that says about me though 😜xx

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Ah that old chestnut! It's a pain isn't it! I would say on antibiotics or that you're the one driving? I like the swapping drinks idea too. You could have tonic water with lime and pretend it's a g and t? It's actually nice too! Does sil know about IVF? If so how insensitive!! Could hubby have a word? Good luck! Xxx

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I hate this predicament when going to parties! I rarely drink anyway and everyone I know knows that and they still go on if I don't drink. I have a party next week and am going to say I'm on tablets I can't drink with but I know someone will say something anyway xx

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Hi Lilli79,

Swapping drinks with your husband like some of the ladies suggested sounds like a good idea. I don't think you are mean. Comments from nosy and insensitive people can be so cruel. One of my aunts is like that. I usually tend to direct their attention to themselves by another comment or question. That kind of people love being the center of attention. It works most of the times. Good luck! x

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Well, dear tough situation though. You are right definitely. When people have been through the same situation they do not know how to react or say. It is better to stay quiet in such situations. Sometimes people just act really awkward in such situations that it makes you uncomfortable. If you want that people do not know about your pregnancy you can make up anything. For example, just say that you are on medications. That is why you are avoiding to drink. I really hope that this pregnancy journey brings a lot of happiness in your life. Best of luck dear for the future. Good luck.

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