Appointments: How does everyone go... - Fertility Network UK

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Appointments

cls37 profile image
cls37
β€’32 Replies

How does everyone go about having time off to attend appointments? I had to go for a scan everyday this week bar one day and have been made to feel very guilty about having time off work to attend these appointments? Can't wait for all this to be over..., it's a difficult journey without the stress of work thinking bad of you x sorry just needed to rant x

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cls37 profile image
cls37
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32 Replies
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_MrsC profile image
_MrsC

Oh it's so rubbish isn't it? I have now started offering to take unpaid leave. It's awful how you're made to feel crap. Sending you a hug. xxx

Gem11 profile image
Gem11

I refuse to feel bad, I work my ass off throughout the day and I deserve their support. You do too!!!!😍

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toGem11

Thank you x

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I take unpaid leave xx

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toTugsgirl

I would if I could x

Laura3101 profile image
Laura3101

I took the time off and to hell with what work say it's hard enough without feeling pressure from work, do you have a HR department? My company have a policy about ivf which states if possible appts should be outside of work but they realise with the nature of the treatment this is unlikely so the time off is acceptable x

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toLaura3101

Wish we did have a policy! Think I'm the first person to go through this at work x

Laura3101 profile image
Laura3101β€’ in reply tocls37

It's worth checking out where you stand within your HR xx

Leesalou profile image
Leesalou

I'll be using my holiday as I've saved it up, xx

Cyantist profile image
Cyantist

My clinic were lovely and asked if I needed before and after work appointments. I worked about 10 mins from there as well so could also go for scans and tests during my lunch break so I didn't need to take any time off at all.

Can your clinic do something similar? Obviously that's not so easy if you don't work close by though.

Haven't actually started our treatment yet but I'm dreading needing time off as it's been a little tricky with all the tests etc at times. I do 24 hour lone worker shifts so getting cover is a nightmare especially as only one of my colleagues knows our current situation. I've saved annual leave so hopefully will be able to use that xx

emmab178 profile image
emmab178

That's a lot of scans to be having. I managed to get mine before 830am but only had to have about 5 in total.

No ivf policy at my work either. They only just comply with uk law nevermind anything extra. Flexible work came in a couple of years ago, could it fall into that?

Magc27 profile image
Magc27

I try to do over time and instead of getting paid I ask for time off, if I told my work about IVF they wouldn't be supportive, so I haven't. If I can't get day off I call in sick, I know that sounds bad but I don't care as all I care about is having a baby πŸ‘Ά. xx

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21

This is something that is concerning me as I live in the Midlands but work in Manchester I'm starting to panic already and I've not even started treatment as to how I'm going to deal with work as were under a hospital in Birmingham which is a 40 minute journey south from where I live - then the thought of having to get to Manchester after appointments is panicking me as I don't want the stress. I thinking I may have to do a combination of annual and sick leave so that I can be off work entirely for the duration of the treatment x

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toShanks_21

It's so hard- wish I could have taken annual leave to have been off for the process, or even just during the stimming phase so I could attend scans guilt free x

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21β€’ in reply tocls37

How many weeks is it approximately upto egg collection etc? I'm thinking once they've put the eggs back in I can go back to work and stay with my mum in Manchester then at least I'm not travelling I just can't see how I can for going for the scans around work as I know I'll get stressed about making sure I get to the hospital on time etc

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toShanks_21

It completely depends on how you respond to the drugs. I've been stimming for 10 days bows but hoping for EC over the weekend. If you can stay with your mum it may make things easier for you. Good luck for your journey xx

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21β€’ in reply tocls37

Thanks sweet will have to make a decision once we start treatment - all these added pressures don't help do they! good luck to you too xxxx

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toShanks_21

They really don't.... this is the most stressed I've been all year! Xx

I haven't told work anything about our infertility- mainly as I don't want the looks of pity. My work in sure would be very supportive but I want to be judged for just being me. That is an individual choice. I even got my GP not to mention the infertility on occupational health form. For me it's a very private matter. Luckily I haven't had too many appointments. I told work it was gynae issues-which is half true- I was having issues with my cycles and pain I just missed the infertility part out. I told work I was having a laparoscopy as part of pain investigations ( which they knew had been ongoing). I got my GP to sign me off work after my laparoscopy- all the GP stated was recently gynae op. If I was planning to have IVF which entails lots of appointments I would probably have it done during the school holidays (I work at two schools)

If you feel comfortable you could tell a trusted colleague about the IVF and needing time off. Or try and fit in appointments with work hours- I know they can do scans first thing- you could always speak to your clinic about arranging appointments to fit around your work schedule- I'm sure they'd try to accommodate as best as they can.

Good luck with your IVF cycle I hope it brings you two magical lines.

xoxo

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply to

Thank you- luckily I don't work too far away from the hospital where I go for scans. Starting to wish I hadn't told anyone at work. Good luck with your journey too x

theblondeone profile image
theblondeone

Most clinics will try to fit your appointments around you so either before work, lunch time or after work. I don't tell my boss why I need time off I just say it's unavoidable personal hospital appointments. It's no one else's business. I make the hours up by working late, through lunch breaks etc I have told a couple of colleagues who are supportive & help cover my work then I help them when I'm back.

Kattalex1 profile image
Kattalex1

Am with Gem11... refuse to feel bad! To be honest, not even bothered... if they like it they like it... if they don't like it... to bad for them... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ more important things in life... don't even think about! After the appointment go back and if someone complains then just look at them and say WHAT? ... and move on...

Alice_W123 profile image
Alice_W123

In my case there are no problems if my job would be done in time.

P.S.: attended initial consultations few times at the cost of my lunch break and additional 40 minutes at work. Ate lunch while was waiting for public transport.

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026

I think it depends on where you work and what you do. I feel so lucky and supported with work. Although we've only told a couple of people about the IVF I decided to be open and honest with my manager. She's been brilliant. For all initial consultations she has encouraged and allowed me to use flexi rather than annual leave. I live about an hour and a half from the clinic and know I will need to go for scans and she just said that's fine fit work around that, she told me that if I was feeling unwell I can work from home. I also saved some annual leave from last year. I'm hoping with all that I won't need to worry about work. I'm just pleased I was honest and thankful for her response. Good luck with your work place xx

My first cycle i told people at work.they were somewhat supportive.my boss didnt get why i was panicking about having a baby since im "only 33",his words.But he wished me luck .haha.However i didnt like the looks and pity i got from some workmates.

My next cycles i didnt tell them.i would just sneak off for my appointments ,and have some lunchtime appointments .clinic is 10 minutes away from my office.and i would also request for early morning (before work)or lunchtime appointments.For EC and ET i took a sick day off.i was feeling sickly from all the meds in my system so it was a half truth.Its been easier than cycle 1 because im not getting the 100 questions from workmates.As far as they are concerned i had abit of a cyst from my first cycle and needed it removed surgically.thats all i said.hence the days off for EC and ET.argggghhh its so frustrating having everyone in your business

hannahi profile image
hannahi

I don't work somewhere where I can make time up or go in late after appointments etc and I work well over an hour away from the hospital...and I've used up my annual leave earlier in the yr! So I'm taking unpaid leave for the whole cycle. I don't know when this will be yet but had a discussion with my boss yesterday and she's said this is fine in principle...luckily she's quite supportive. Just got to find someone to cover me xx

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply tohannahi

That sounds like a good plan you can really focus on looking after yourself.

It's made me frustrated that we get no kind of entitlement when going through IVF until after ET when we are classed as pregnant for the 2WW. It's not like anyone would ever choose to go through IVF πŸ˜₯x

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Hello!! I have to say my school have been very accommodating, however with the exams coming up at the time it made it awkward, so in the end I was signed off. You shouldn't have to take unpaid leave, Neither should you save up your holiday, this is not your fault, none of us would be doing this if we didn't have to. This is far more important than work, so sod it, put yourself first, it's only for a few weeks, then they can have you back!!!! Good luck lovely πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€xxxx

cls37 profile image
cls37β€’ in reply toAleelilook

Thank you xxx

hannahi profile image
hannahi

I know it's really frustrating! agree with aleelilook...get signed off for as long as you need, at the end of the day this is themost important thing in your life...work is just work! X

cls37 profile image
cls37

Thank you what a lovely thing to say xxx

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