BFN 😒😒😒: So that was our last chance... - Fertility Network UK

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72cloud9 profile image
72cloud9
β€’33 Replies

So that was our last chance with my own eggs. I'm numb.Ive obviously been a terrible person in my life to deserve this!Why is life so bloody unfair!!? I'm 45 & Ive wasted the last 5 years for what?!?! All I've gained is weight, lost money, any semblance of a normal lifestyle and lost half the pigment in my skin on my face from the hormones messing with my vitiligo.im drained,exhausted & resentful 😒😑😒

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72cloud9 profile image
72cloud9
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33 Replies
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So sorry to hear this πŸ˜” xx

emu2016 profile image
emu2016

I'm so sorry. :(

You are not a terrible person. At all. No one deserves this.

I hope you can find some time to rest and remember how amazing you are before deciding what to do next. Lots of love xxxx

Hope_4_2017x profile image
Hope_4_2017x

So sorry to hear, your definately not terrible. Sending hugs xxxx

Blondyboo profile image
Blondyboo

Oh no, so sorry Hun 😞

anna0908 profile image
anna0908

So sorry to hear this. None of us are terrible people on here, just unlucky. We would never blame ourselves for any other type of medical condition, yet beat ourselves up for something we have no control over. Bfns are the hardest. My thoughts are with you today, and hope in time you find a way to move forwards. Hugs and best wishes xx

_MrsC profile image
_MrsC

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please try not to think that you deserve this. Very few people in life are dealt a cruel hand they deserve. I know it feels as though you are being punished for something but you're not. None of us are. Life is a rollercoaster of experiences and there are some we enjoy and some we despise. I'm so sorry you are having such a horrible experience at the moment but try to take each day as it comes and know that there will be joy to come. It might come in a form you're not expecting or wanting even but it will come. Try to have faith and hope; without that, life is pretty hard. In the meantime though, take your time to grieve and feel angry and let down. It's all part of the journey. Take care and sending a big hug. Vic xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

I'm so sorry 72cloud9 . Life is totally unfair and nobody deserves this!! We put up with all this cr*p when others don't have to and still some don't get their dream, it really is cruel! Sending you massive hug and love to you both xx

MichM profile image
MichM

So sorry to hear your sad news πŸ’”, try to be kind to yourself, you don't deserve this, no one does, life is so tough at times, be proud of yourself for trying so hard, for being so brave and strong, thinking of you 😘 x x x

katya38 profile image
katya38

Oh no so sorry xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love. It's most definitely not deserved, you've done nothing wrong, it's just very, very unfair. Please don't beat yourself up, it's not something under your control unfortunately. Take care of yourself & some time to grieve. xxxxxx

Georgina78 profile image
Georgina78

Oh Hun I'm so sorry, this really sucks and in fact the whole thing really sucks. Like you say you only lose so much and have nothing to show for it except perhaps the fact that you can't say you didn't try. Sending huge hugs to you xxx

Nemobaby profile image
Nemobaby

I'm so sorry 😒 life is unfair but you haven't done anything to deserve this, none of us have, it's just rubbish. Take the time you need to cry and grieve xxx

So sorry to hear this, take time out and look after yourself xxx

Tara123 profile image
Tara123

I'm so sorry πŸ˜”πŸ˜” life can be so cruel...sending U massive hugs ur way xx

Nyko1 profile image
Nyko1

So sorry, heartbroken for you, life is so unfair. Big hugs to you xx

So sorry to hear this sending hugs hugs xx

So sorry to read this hun. You're not an awful person & no one deserves this. Take time out for yourself before deciding on your next step...take care & big hugs xxx

Sunshine09 profile image
Sunshine09

I Dont think there is a single person on here that does not feel your pain, you are not a bad person and you certainly don't deserve this, nobody does, but take time to grieve, feel hurt, angry, but we may be 45 and feel that is it for us!! Maybe so with our own eggs, and that sucks!! But there is still hope and all is not lost just yet, we may have to take a different route, and yip empty the bank account!! But no money could put a price tag on what we would gain at the other end!! One thing is for sure we will be mummy's one day, it's just going to take us a little longer, the best things come to those who have to wait, and we will appreciate the value even more!! Sending loads of love hugs your way xx❀😘 Keep believing 🌈

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Sunshine09

Such a lovely message and in time I hope 72cloud9 can still follow her dreamπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œxxx

Sunshine09 profile image
Sunshine09 in reply to vic77

Me too xxβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’‹

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Like the lovely ladies have said you've done nothing wrong, life is just awful sometimes, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. Be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes. When it is so raw it can feel suffocating, and unimaginable to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off, but you will, it's a shit that you have to again, but you will. Thinking of you at this horrible time xxxxx

So sorry to read this.you are an amazing woman and an inspiration to alot of us on thia journey.Dont ever think you are a horrible person.hugs to you

CountryCat profile image
CountryCat

Oh Cloud, that is wretched!! I am so very sorry for everything that you have been through. What you feel is totally natural but so heartbreakingly unfair. I am carrying you in my thoughts. Xxx πŸ’

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143

Ah sweetheart I'm so sorry to read your post. I know just how crappy you're feeling. I've also asked the same question , what did I do wrong? why do I deserve this? How can so many other people get pregnant but I can't? etc etc. I think that's just natural when you've been through so much and tried so hard and have nothing at the end of it all. I look back on my years and am confident that I've given this my all, just like you, you've tried and have no regrets. You've given this everything you've got. For that you are an incredibly strong and fearless lady and you should take some strength from that.

Take some time to heel yourself, try to have some fun times and be you again. You can then decide if you want to move forward with any other avenues. I'm going down he DE route but it's not for everyone, and took us a long while to get our heads round it.

I'm sending you big hugs and know how hard it is and how much it tears you apart inside. 😘 xxx

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry but please do not think it is your fault in anyway. Trust me it is not a case of who deserves a baby gets one-time otherwise terrible parents wouldn't keep having more children they are not capable of looking after- my sister in law being one! And yes it does make one feel resentful coz it's not fair. Sigh...

Take some time out- fertility stuff can really take it out of you. Plan stuff for you to do- we all need something to look forward to. I have found I used to put my life constantly on hold- but I refuse to do that anymore! We are going away to Malta for hubby's birthday in FebruaryπŸ˜‰

Right now isn't the time to make any hard or fast decisions. It's the time to be kind to yourselves. And take time to recover not only physically, mentally and most importantly emotionally. Once it feels less raw attend the review appointment and find out the options available to you. You both will in time make a decision that is right for you both. For now I suggest opening a bottle of wine to drown the sorrow's.

I wish you the very best with whatever you decide to do next and hope it brings you happiness. x x x

vic77 profile image
vic77

Oh no hunny I am so so sorry my heart bleeds for you. This is awful..you are so far from a terrible person. You are amazing and strong and you will find your strength again in time. This journey is the cruelest ..take time to recover. Sending you a huge hug xxxx

Janop79 profile image
Janop79

I'm so sorry to hear this. I've felt the same when I found out about my fertility problems and you know what? We're not bad people and we haven't done anything terrible. You don't deserve this and I'm sorry you're going through this xx

I can understand why you feel very angry. I'm sorry it was a BFN. You have given it all you had. I do hope you can find peace with whatever the next step is for you. Xxxxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Really sorry to be reading this. My heart sank for you xx

Leesalou profile image
Leesalou

Big hugs Hun. Your not a terrible person at all! Life is just cruel!!! Xx

webchick profile image
webchick

I'm so sorry, everyone on here knows the pain and sadness you feeling right know. Why does life deal such heatache , it's so unfair. Take care xx

hannahi profile image
hannahi

I'm sorry to hear this. Please remember you absolutely don't deserve this. Take a bit of time for yourself & then you may be ready to look at your other options. Big hugs xxx

tiger-cub profile image
tiger-cub

Oh dear lord

Please take care of urself sending u hugs . My heart has completely gone numb for u .

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