Hi everyone! I'm new here. DH and I have been ttc for the last 18 months, but, until recently, we were living in different towns because of our jobs. We did blood and semen analysis tests last October; all came back normal. But in Feb my GP refused to refer me for a HyCosy because - she said - we had not been trying for a full year (due to distance and not being able to be together all the time). I'm 34 and DH is 39. I don't want to wait too much longer. Any advice? Should I try to get an NHS referral from another GP, or go private?

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  • Did she say how much longer you should be TTC for? If it's not much longer then maybe wait and keep trying? If you are in a position to go private and want it all done sooner then you should go for it but you might lose your chance to get a funded cycle.

    Can you get a second opinion from another GP?

  • Hi tomorrow

    Your story reminded me my good friends relationships... Anyway if I were you I wouldn't wait long trying to conceive as your GP says. There's every likelihood that you may come up in a row of other problems where the solution is not so simple. I'd say that you'd better go and do all the analysis to check your hormons, ovaries, womb. You must make sure everything is ok with your (and your husband's of course) reproductive system. Only in that case you may stay calm and continue your ttc attempts without any special assistance. Go private if necessary but do that.

    Wish you luck xx

  • I had problems getting my gp to refer me after my periods stopped following a miscarriage. They just kept saying be patient and they'll come back. I just persevered and went back every month until they did do what i wanted. I also saw another gp. I think you need to say how much distress it's causing you. I sat in tears in the end. At least get them to refer you to fertility and then it's up to them decide how to progress not your gp. Things go slow on the NHS so the sooner you get the wheels in motion the better x

  • Hello! What you could do is phone a private clinic and ask what tests they require before patients are referred for ivf, at which point you could pay for the remaining tests privately. If at that point it throws up some concern then your gp should immediately refer you to the next step, however if your unexplained they might make you wait until you've been trying for two years, but at least you'd have all your tests, and could jump to the front of the queue!! I spoke to my clinic before becoming a patient and they gave me loads of advice on everything. Good luck! Xx

  • Hi Tomorrow_1. I would have a look at,uk and see what the criteria is for treatment in your area. Then you will know. Not too sure I agree with your GP's reasoning, as long as you have regular sex, then you've been trying for 18 months! Good luck with it all. Diane

  • Thanks everyone! I'm currently in Swansea, but within about 1 month DH and I will be together and permanently based in Durham. Provisions for NE England look pretty good. The first step, I think, will be to try my husband's current gp, to see if she's more sympathetic, and to see if I can get a referral up north. If not, then going private for the HyCosy seems the likeliest option.

  • If provision is better where you are moving to I would get yourself signed to a gp up there and get in an appointment and try and get a referral from there. Good luck. It is so frustrating when you feel someone else has control over your life.

  • Hi I'm from Durham & undergone IVF treatment at UHJC who were fantastic.

    Here is the criteria I used when starting out with GP, however there are 3 ccg's covering the Durham area depending where you live, North Durham.Darlington.Durham Dales,Easington & Sedgefield

    Page 16

    Wishing you well on your journey xx

  • Hi I would suggest you embellish the truth a little where needed due to your age. I was 37 when the doctors started to help me and it all took ages. For about Β£600 (where I live anyway) a private clinic will do lots of tests for you both and have results back so quickly. I would then present the finding to your GP for referral further if you need it.

  • When are you 35? As the nhs website says you can be referred after 6 months once you're 35... I'd go to see a different gp on your birthday if necessary and force the issue!

  • Thanks Lizzielizzielizzie. That's a good point. I'll be 35 in Nov, tho, so will definitely try for referral earlier.

  • Yes definitely. As everyone on here says, see another doctor!!!

  • That sucks! I would defo see a different gp b4 u start paying privately!! How dare your gp make assumptions about how your sexual relationship is because you're living apart! That's just rude!!! Uv still been trying for a long time regardless-he can't make the time less because u don't leave together! What a tw*t!! Sorry for rant, feel v cross for u x

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. You cannot be considered infertile yet since by definition, a couple should be living together and having regular intercourse for at least one year. Plus, your results are normal. You can change doctors, but if you're unable to get referral anytime soon, you should consider a plan B. That would mean both of you living under the same roof--someone has to sacrifice their job or ask to be relocated (if possible) so that you can achieve this. At age 34, I think there's no room for waiting and there're chances you might obtain referral since you're not yet 35.

    Wish you all the best!

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