IVF round 2: Share my journey?

Well after an early miscarriage from my first round of IVF in October, tomorrow we have our treatment plan for IVF round 2.

Both feeling pretty nervous - it's crazy how the ivf process changes you as a couple and alters your perceptions - we'll sure be a different couple sitting in the clinic waiting room from the giggly excited one pre ivf 1.

Anyway, just hoping to share this leg of the journey with others in similar places in the hope we can stop each other going mad! Tehe πŸ˜…

Luck and love to everyone hoping or realising their dreams. Xx

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  • We are about to start round 2 also and we feel totally different than we did in October. Way more knowledgeable for a start. Here's hoping we are both lucky this time xxx

  • Hi vic77, thanks for your reply.

    Yes, We sure are more knowledgeable but more nervous too given the last outcome and emotions that came with it.

    You sound pretty positive hun and that's the best way to be I'm sure!

    Which protocol are you going on?

    Luck and love to you for this leg of the journey xxx

  • Guess being positive is only way to be😊I understand you must be nervous. We were long protocol last time this time who knows ashad no review appointment soguess likely the same. We see consultant next week and I have my list of questions at the ready. Wishing you lots of love and luck too xx

  • I totally agree Vic77, I'm so glad you're able to feel positive and relieved to say that positivity has come over me too.

    I'm really looking forward with hope to this leg of the journey.

    Good luck with the consultant hun. Let me know how it goes xx

  • Hi Pookymama .

    Best of luck this time . Hope all goes well.

    I am in the same boat as yourself, going for 2nd round in Feb after an identical twin miscarriage in November.

    We had our consultation in December, but this time around was somewhat different

    Like yourself we were giggling all the way . Journey was full of giggles until the last scan.

    I am mega nervous this time around too, especially as we are more informed and somewhat experienced.

    But I am hoping and praying that each and every one of us on this site and every wanna be mother gets their dream fulfilled as no one, unless they are in a similar situation can understand how strong our wish is.

    Here's to a great 2017 where everyone's dreams of holding a healthy baby and seeing them grow up comes true

    Best of luck

    Hugs

    Xxx

  • Thank you for your meaningful words San1510.

    I'm so sorry for your loss last year and do hope and pray that 2017 is the year for all of us to hold our healthy little miracles in our arms and guide them on their journeys.

    I remember my partner and I sitting in the clinic waiting room through round 1 looking at other couples who were straight faced, not talking, heads in their respective phones while my partner and I were visibly connected, excited making a good relationship with the receptionist etc and thinking what a shame it was that the other couples seemed so terrified and disengaged from each other when they need each other most...

    However, since our 1st round ended we have both been hit with bouts of depression/anxiety/inability to cope feelings so can now imagine how those couples were feeling.

    I think it's important to find that United front again and to have external sources of support as well as so often we don't tell people what we're going through and we find ourselves struggling alone.

    I think having told people and joined this network I will feel more supported and less... uh hum, "mental" (tehe) than last time for sure!

    And hopefully this time we'll all be sharing pregnancy to term and beautiful baby pics! Xxx

  • I'm very sorry for your loss and wish you all the best with this cycle Pookymama.

    I am just on my first cycle of IVF which I should have done in November but we got a surprise bfp only to miscarry a week later. So we are starting at the end of January and would like to share your journey if that's OK?

    I recognise what you said about the waiting room and sitting feeling very nervous and down before each appointment but as you said I really hope that this time we will be sharing pregnancy and baby pictures!

    I'm sorry for your loss too San1510 and hope your treatment goes well in February.

    Hi Vic77 - hope you are OK and really hope that you are lucky this time. xx

  • Rooting for you City74

  • Thanks Vic77 - let us know how you are getting on

  • Hi City74, and thank you for your kind message.

    I'm so sorry for your loss but send my hopes and prayers for your every success with ivf.

    It would be lovely to share each other's journeys through this, thank you. :-)

    It's funny but after I wrote my post and on route to the hospital I felt an overwhelming positivity come over me about round 2 so wasn't sat in the waiting room all disengaged after all!

    My partner was more nervous and subdued though but he's been feeling down about it all lately, bless him. I hope his positivity returns as it seems if I'm down he's up and vice versa. Do you find that with yours?

    Anyway, we saw a lovely nurse who shared that she has a personal interest in ivf so really understood.

    We'll be on an antagonist protocol like last time with the addition of baby aspirin and hopefully another drug later to prevent miscarriage. I'm also having lupron progesterone injections this time rather than the pessaries which irritated me last time.

    I start the drugs on the first day of af which should be the 15th.

    One minor snag though, my partner was slightly over the BMI so he has to lose 5lbs before we can start. He was gutted but us working hard to lose it by next week! Argh!

  • Hi Pookymama. I'm glad to hear that your appointment went well and you now feel more positive. I agree that me and my DH swap around our feelings of positivity but I think that's better than both of you feeling down at the same time. I'm feeling quite positive at the moment too but we'll see how I feel 2 weeks today when I start my injections. I'm scared!!!

    What is an antagonist protocol? Is that like the short protocol? Do you take the aspirin right from the start of the treatment or as soon as you get your bfp? I've got the progesterone pessaries which I'm a bit nervous about as well.

    Good luck to your partner for losing the weight. How is he getting on?

  • Hi City74,

    Thank you for your kind words.

    I'm glad you're feeling positive at the moment. It is scary to be starting again but also exciting and filled with possibility. :-).

    I believe the antagonist protocol is basically the same as the short one.

    I started taking the baby aspirin off my own back straight after the appointment to add to the list of supplements I'd decided to take myself.

    My partner worked really hard bless him and managed to lose the 5lb by Monday so they signed us up and we breathed a sigh of relief.

    Then as I'd been ill for a few days, I went to the doctors yesterday, was diagnosed with accute tonsilitus, ordered total bed rest, no going outside, a 10 day sick note and not to underestimate the seriousness of how ill I am and if I got any worse/temp rose any higher I'd be admitted to hosptial and put on an IV drip!

    I just burst into tears and said "but I have IVF on Monday" - both the GP and hospital said I'm too ill, so they've postponed my IVF til February after all.

    I was really upset initially, but I guess it's sensible to wait til I'm well as I currently can't breathe properly, swallow my own saliva, eat or sleep properly so I wouldn't be giving a baby a healthy chance right now. Bloody crappy timing though!

    And to top it all off, I've come on today. If I go to 28 days ill start my next ivf on Feb 9th... or 6th if I go 3 days early for the third month... so I shall be watching your journeys with interest then playing catch up to join you. Tehe xx

  • Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about your tonsillitis. You must feel so frustrated that your IVF has been delayed but I think you are right that it is sensible to wait until you feel well again. I really hope that you can get some good rest and your temperature goes down and you don't have to be on a drip or anything.

    You won't be too far behind me - I start my injections on 26th January if it all goes to plan so I suppose you will be about a week and a half behind me. I think my egg collection should be week beginning 6th Feb. It is all seeming a bit real now.

    Your partner did so well to lose the 5 pounds in a week!

    Take care of yourself and hope you feel a lot better soon xx

  • Thank you City74,

    It is frustrating but I wouldn't have been giving the ivf the healthiest chance by going ahead now.

    I'm currently in hospital on a drip, having had a needle down the throat to suck pus out of quincy abscesses so had to give into it after all.

    Yes, my partner did a really good job bless him! Hopefully we'll have both lost a bit more by Feb!

    I'll be starting my ivf in early Feb on an antagonist protocol which is short. The drug stage is supposed to be a fortnight but last time I responded so well I had egg collection after 8 days, so maybe I won't be too far behind you after all!

    I know what you mean about it feeling real when it gets close. How're you feeling otherwise hun?

    Sending luck and warm wishes that this is our year xx

  • Oh no! I've just seen this. I really hope you are feeling better and are home from the hospital. You have been under so much stress so I hope things are improving. Not long now til you start treatment again!

    I am due to start injections 1 week today but I feel as though my period is going to come imminently. I don't know what would happen if I came on a week early. I'm hoping they would just let me start. Due to my age I just feel like I'm running out of time (I'm 42)!

    Wow - I am so impressed that you had egg collection after 8 days! That is amazing - yes we might end up having it at the same time and we can keep each other company on our 2WW.

    Take care of yourself xx

  • Hi City74,

    Thank you for your message. I'm out of hospital now with a bunch of antibiotics though just went to the docs as (sorry for tmi), I've had a painful swelling on my perenium (see - tmi! Lol.πŸ˜‚), and didn't want anything else to hold up ivf.

    Turns out it looks like a cut but I have to have more antibiotics and go to A and E if it worsens as it may be an abscess that gyny may need to lance. Doc says I'm clearly really run down to be getting all this so have to really take it easy - and after eating right, supplements and no alcohol you'd think I'd be on top form... my body is probably just missing wine! Haha.

    I think that ivf clinics account for unpredictable cycles and should start you on your drugs as soon as af comes.

    The clinic told me to ring them when my af comes and I have a 2 day window to get down there then. Maybe give your clinic a ring to put your mind at rest?

    Yes, it would be lovely if we could be tww buddies. ;-)

    Xx

  • Hi Pookymama. Glad that you are out of hospital now but hope that your cut is OK. I think it must be such a stressful time that you are run down so I hope all your rest is helpful for you and you feel better soon. I know what you mean about supplements etc and no alcohol - I haven't drank for ages and am trying to eat healthily but I still feel tired!!

    Yes hopefully my clinic will be OK if AF comes early. I'm sure these things happen all the time so they will have some room for such things!!

    Let me know how you get on. xx

  • Thank you City74,

    "This time next year Rodders", we'll hopefully be nearing the wet the babies head stage, though a sniff of a tipple will probably floor us after all this clean living! Haha.

    Yes, im sure the clinic does account for random afs. I'm saying mine is due on 9th but for the last 2 months I've been early so who knows!

    I'll be glad to start ivf again now. How about you? Xx

  • Yes I just want to get started now. I think I'm just fed up with waiting now and it's really stressing me out.

    Yes let's hope we are at that stage this time next year - I haven't had a drink for absolutely ages so I will definitely be on the floor after 1!!

    How are you feeling?

    No sign of AF yet so that's good. Hopefully she will just turn up next week. I think a couple of days early is OK but I didn't want to be a week early! xx

  • Well I'm still not well and still signed off work so am using my time wisely, resting, preparing my body, reading positive books and learning to knit so starting to feel better psychologically

    I'd laid off the DHEA, ubiqinol etc while I've been ill but as I'm more able to swallow now I might start taking them again too.

    Glad your af didn't show up early, it can be such a worry to have your plan thrown out of whack, especially when we have to factor in clinic schedules, time off work etc.

    I booked time off work which I will have to push back a few weeks now.

    In the grand scheme of things though, I guess this is the most important thing and everything else will have to work around our unpredictable bodies if we're to achieve our goal.

    With a relaxed approach, hopefully this will be our year! Xx

  • Yes I really hope that this will be our year!

    Sorry you are still not well. It does sound as though you are using your time very well. I have been doing a bit of knitting. I'm not very good at it but it is quite relaxing isn't it. I got one of those adult colouring books so I might get that out this weekend and see if that helps me to feel more relaxed.

    Hope you have a restful weekend. xx

  • Yeah, knitting is proving to be relaxing. I've knitted a toy fox as my first project... He's slightly odd looking in places but I enjoyed making him... quite fancy working up to some beatrix potter characters for the nursery... ah...

    We do the therapeutic colouring with clients in work, I should get one for home too.

    Been to accupuncture today and was advised that I should take more time off to restore myself.

    I'm currently in a bath of epsom salts with candles, lavender oil burner and relaxation music... its been a blissful half hour but the draw to technology signals that it's time to get out before I prune! Lol.

    Hope you have a restful weekend too. Take care chicky Xx

  • hello we have a failed IVF DE round in Cyprus in October had chemical. I feel completely different this time as well last time more excited this time worried and anxious as I know the feeling of it not working. Also this could be our last go privately as money gets drained. x

  • Hello Blondyboo,

    Thank you for your reply.

    I'm so sorry for your last cycle outcome. It's so emotionally, physically and financially draining isn't it hun?

    It is so worrying when you have the knowledge of what could go wrong. I thought I'd be dwelling on that when I got to the hospital but miraculously, excitement and faith for the next round swept over me. I hope that stays with me and comes for you too, as it will be easier for us to cope with this journey without the negative feelings creeping in... no doubt it will be a roller coaster of ups and downs again though.

    At least we have each other this time! Tehe.

    I hope and pray for your every success with your next round and hope this thread and all other hopefuls are blessed as new mamas soon xx

  • Hi Pookymama - we are starting our second cycle this month following mc in July. A couple of months ago I wasn't feeling that positive about it all but after having my bloods checked and getting confirmation of our protocol and dates etc I am honestly so excited to start again! I hope that you are feeling much more positive soon. I felt like we needed a little more time to start again so we pushed ours back from the date they originally gave us. If you feel like you need the extra time don't hesitate to let them know. Either way I wish you all the luck in the world. Don't forget that we are stronger than we could ever believe. If you would ever like to talk please drop me a line x x x

  • Hi Mommabear, thank you for your kind words.

    I'm so sorry for your loss and pray that your next round will result in your beautiful baby.

    I understand the need to wait and become emotionally sturdy again between rounds.

    Initially, I was so desperate to be pregnant again but it was sensible to wait, grieve and repair for a few months first.

    I totally understand the turnaround of emotions because as you know, I couldn't shift the negative feelings... right up to my treatment planning day it would seem, as a renewed excitement and hope surged through me and I feel ready to take on the process again now - can't quite believe the change in myself actually - so I'm feeling ya!

    And you're quite right, we are stronger than we know and will make the absolute best mothers because of it!

    I'd love to stay in touch through our journeys and wish you all the luck in the world xx

  • Thanks for coming back to me and your kind words. Wishing you lots of luck also, definitely keep in touch :) x x x

  • Thank you Mommabear, will do. Xx

  • Hope it all goes well Pookymama, I look forward to following your journey and hoping that it has an extremely happy ending.

    I haven't even started the process but can already understand how it can put pressure on a couple, feel that females may get the sticky end of the stick ( me being polite !) and it is hard for Men to understand ( generalising I know ) .

    Take Care Lovely, sending positive vibes xx

  • Hi Brenbert, and thank you for your well wishes.

    I wish all the best for your journey also.

    The process can present a whole host of challenges and feelings to couples yes. On the positive side, it can bring you closer together and more United in your goals. It's just so important not to let a divide come when you're at different emotional stages during the process. It's a big learning curve and test of your resolve as a couple for sure but if you can face this you can face anything!

    Luck and love to you Brenbert. Xx

  • Hi ladies and apologies to one and all for my late reply, I assure you I'm not normally so slow at responding, I've just had techy difficulties at the worst possible time, just after having written a post! Grr!

    Anyway, frustrating few days over, I'm back and shall reply to your kind and lovely messages individually now.

    Big love! Xxx

  • We're starting round two with an endo scratch on Wednesday the 11th. We're doing a medicated fet; I already have my list of drugs x

  • Hi Tugsgirl,

    Good luck with your round 2! How're you feeling?

    Forgive my ignorance but what is an endo scratch?

    My af is due on 15th so I should start my drugs that day. I've been given the drugs in readiness. Xx 😊

  • An endometrial scratch is performed on day 21 of your cycle (for me next Wednesday). It is basically a procedure where they scratch the lining of the uterus with a fine catheter placed through the cervix. I've not had one before and can only take paracetamol for it; dreading it!! So I'm feeling pretty nervous and a bit stressy but hopefully once that's done I know I can handle the rest because I've done it before and at least no egg collection this time lol x

  • Ps, it's to help implantation! x

  • Wow, sounds like a good but uncomfortable idea! I bet you are nervous, but huni, if you've handled the ivf/fertility investigation process you can take in anything! ;-) I'll be sending healing thoughts your way next Wednesday though chicky! Xx

  • Aww thank you! X

  • We are waiting to miscarry ivf number one and so worried about future success due to finances and age (this was our only nhs). It's good to see how you have picked yourselves up and gives me hope. After initially handling things so well when we had bad news, the protracted nature of our miscarriage means the strain is really starting to take effect. I look forward to being a few months on and hopeful again. All the v best x

  • Hi Skatty,

    I am so sorry you're going through such a cruel and painful time. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

    Although everyone's different and we all find our own best coping strategies, I think what I've learned is that we really must practice self care around these times and listen to our own personal needs in order to heal.

    This is a time for you and your partner to seek solace in each other, withdraw/seek support and grieve together in whichever way you need to.

    When i was pregnant we affectionately named our baby "Pooky" and for no evidence based reason decided it was a boy.

    My partner and I had a little funeral for him at my Nanna's grave and planted flowers there.

    I think that for me, having given him an identity honoured his memory in my heart and having given him a little funeral and imagined him safe with my Nanna helped with a sense of closure and we know we can always re-visit this special place.

    I found it helpful to talk to close people. I started fertility accupuncture with an amazing spiritual, nurturing and knowledgeable woman where I offload and feel heard and understood and that's helps massively.

    Taking walks, practicing mindfulness and relaxation meditations are also helpful tools to get through these tough times after grieving.

    I think the biggest thing I've learnt from last time is not to worry about work or put too much pressure on yourself and develop what I call a "stuff it all" approach going forward to be as stress free as possible in preparation for found 2.

    I only learned to develop this in the last few weeks and it's made me feel a lot better.

    I hope you find ways that help you cope through this awful time. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me.

    Sending you strength, love and hugs. Xx

  • Thanks pookymama it means a lot that you've taken the time to respond. The partner time and enjoying walks really chimed. All the best with round 2. Ding ding!!

  • Take care Skatty and be kind to yourselves. Best of luck going forward xx

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