How was your experience on first appointment with midwife ?

Hello ladies . I'm 9weeks and 5days pregnant and two days ago I had my very first appointment with midwife . Time maybe 15 min ..she only checks high waight and blood pressure . I know from my friends and my sis in low that in every case on first appointment and every time u see your midwife she check for baby heartbeat ... When I ask her if she can do that just to put us peace in mind that baby is ok she told me that being 9weeks and 5days is to early for that ...when I ask her if she can do it when I'm over 10weeks which next she is gonna come to my home she told again that is to early to hear baby heartbeat .... I'm sorry but I was so angry with the lie she told us that I just want to leave from the room and tell her don't bother ..I can see how much u care special for couple like we r going throug so much to come to that stage . She was careless ...like we say "just tick the box"... Becouse of that 2morrow we got privet scan book paying Β£75 just to see if baby is ok .... I know u can hear baby Heratbeat from week 8 ...I understand if she told us I don't have much time to check for ...then lie that is to early ... Girls how was your first visit with midwife ..?did u experience anything like it ? Xx

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  • Hi - I am sorry to hear you are upset.

    I'm 18 weeks and haven't hear my babies heartbeat yet. At my 14 week appointment I hoped I might but the midwife said they used to a few years ago, but because it's early they now don't as it can be pointlessly distressing if no heartbeat is found. It is still hard to find at that stage.

    I didn't hear it at any of my scans (7,10 and 12) either, just saw it!

    I did pay for a private scan at 10 weeks too though and it was so lovely. Worth every penny plus we had loads of time to really look as the lady didn't have to take the time filling out paperwork.

    Hope you enjoy yours xx

  • Hi Daisy14 I'm happy that u and baby doing well πŸ˜ƒ We so happy with hubby that is still hard to believe and say that words "we pregnant"...☺️ We just want to know that baby is ok ..special that I feel so good ... I have not being sick at all ,my boobs feels bigger and itchy ..if I eat to early in evening I'm waking up around 4am feeling so hungry ...☺️ I always had sweet tooth ..but now I cannot even eat vanilla ice cream and I cannot even stand meats ... I'm not feeling tried through day only evening I want to go sleep early ... If us midwife give more explanations knowing that we not just ordinary couple conceive naturally we went through IVF I would not say anything ...but u know when someone give u feeling and show that "we only next couple ..tick the box "...living u making u feel so angry ..πŸ˜” The only thing we all want special from people like her to show that they do care ..and not just "is my job only "... I love people I'm always nice to everyone and give my time and care what they need ...I don't expect from her to do more then she can but she showing careless . Maybe I got just bad luck ...I'm gonna see how she gonna be next week and I will make decision then to stay with her or to change . Hun I cannot wait for 2morrow to see that my baby is ok 😍 Daisy how did u feel when u was 9,10 weeks ? Did u have lots symptoms ? How u feeling now ? Xxx

  • I was quite similar to you at about 9 weeks: sore boobs and went totally off all sweet foods as well as being very tired. I became quite sick later on until recently and that was a bit rubbish. Am coming out of that now.

    I have found all my midwife appointments to be quite quick and not lots of reassurance. I think they just see so many pregnancies and we are of course so anxious after all our efforts. My 12 week scan I was in and out in ten minutes and they barely let me glimpse the screen!

    The good thing about private is you are there purely for reassurance so if it is anything like mine you can rally indulge. Enjoy and good luck! Xx

  • Hi daisy I had my scan this morning . Was amazing to see my little one is ok. Strong heartbeat and was waving to us 😍😍 Now I cannot wait till 12 weeks scan 😍Xxx

  • midwifes do not check for a heartbeat until 16 weeks, checking before can only cause problems as there so difficult to find and causes unnecessary worry, at 9 weeks she would not of been able to locate the heartbeat, she told you the truth

  • Hi hspread . My sis in low was shock when I told her my experience with midwife . She was only 8weeks when her midwife ask her if she want to hear heartbeat saying that it may take little bit . She did find at 8weeks . When I was 6weeks and 5days in clinic for my first scan we sow baby heartbeat only the nurse told us that for now is to early but around week 8 we will be able to hear heartbeat . My sis in low had her baby only a year ago ...not long ago then . I know what u saying but she didn't even care to explain to us anything even those that we told her we had IVF and we just want to know if everything is ok . She didn't say anything to put us mind in peace ...nothing just saying is to early ... if I was her place I would comfort couple to give more explanation to them trying not to worry till 12 weeks scan .. xxx

  • she could of been a bit more sensitive about it, but midwifes are very hesitant to check a heartbeat especially before 13 weeks only because most are unable to find it at all prior to that point in pregnancy and if they do can take a very very long time to locate and causes a lot of worry and concern for the expectant parents, good luck for tomorrow though scans are beautiful

  • Thank u hspread . I'm gonna see how she is next week and decide then . If she gonna be careless giving me feeling that I cannnot "turn "to her anytime throug my pregnancy meaning that she understand us sytuation and care little bit more then just job ... Yes Hun I cannot wait for 2morrow 😍 I just want to see that my baby is ok πŸ™πŸ€πŸ˜

  • I've worked in maternity services and the midwife is right. Occasionally the midwife can get a heartbeat from 12 weeks but they will usually not try til 16 as it causes far more distress if they can't find it. The baby is still very small and there are limits to the equipment xx

  • I also didn't hear the heartbeat with my midwife till week 18 I think, it's hard to find and I think it's quite normal for them not to do it. Imaigine your distress if she couldn't find your little ones heartbeat. I also don't remember hearing it with scans early on. I agree she should've been more sensative. I think when you go from the IVF to just a normal midwife it's quite a shock! Good luck with everything xx

  • my midwife listened to the heartbeat at 17 weeks, that was mainly as I hadn't felt any movements yet. They're not obliged to do it, especially before around 16 weeks as its not always easy to hear and causes more anxiety. Nice guidelines say they don't need to check it at all so I don't think your experience was necessarily poor... You can always buy a Doppler if you want to hear it more often?

  • Hi Hun I bough Doppler but I don't need to use for time being . This morning I had privet scan and was amazing 😍 We sow us little one all good strong heartbeat ...the nurse said that is waving ...😍😍 We r so happy and over the moon knowing that everything is ok ☺️☺️ We gonna see that midwife on Monday and we see how is gonna go .

  • I was a midwife and going through IVF right now. We don't have to check until 16 weeks. The first appointment is normally booking appointment. I have checked for my friends before and sometimes you can hear it from about 8 weeks but that is just lucky. It causes more stress if you can't find it so better to have scan first xxx good luck

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