So, after getting our first BFP on 28th October we decided to share our news a little early with family. I was 10 weeks last Saturday and we enjoyed telling my half of the family at a Christmas event, until the spotting happened! I couldn’t believe it! I stayed calm though and as it was only a little once, I ignored it. On Wednesday I had the worst pain I have felt this far in pregnancy to the point where I went to A&E. after a proper palaver getting seen (because I’m not registered in England anymore) I took myself to a private clinic and had a scan. Baby came up on the screen wiggling away and measuring 10weeks and 3days (we were 10weeks and 4days) but very happy with this! This whole thing has just made me more nervous now though as the more I see him on the scan the more attached I feel - does that make sense? I have my 12 week scan with the midwife on Thursday coming (I’ll be 11weeks 5days) and I’m just trying to focus on that. Does it get easier? I’m just anxious all the time! My OH’s cousin announced her pregnancy and she is due 6 days before us and she is just so chilled about it all... very happy and appears not to have a worry in the world. She didn’t have fertility treatment though and is only recently married so I guess she just hasn’t had the same disappointment that we have faced??
Keeping me on my toes! - Sensitive Post - Fertility Network UK
Keeping me on my toes! - Sensitive Post
It does get easier, i only calmed down once i hit half way. The anxiety i don’t think ever leaves you but it will get easier and a lot less intense. Just keep busy. Best of luck to you x
Thank you! x
Hi there!! You sound exactly like I did in the early stages!! I'm afraid it doesn't get easier and you worry about the slightest of things, its totally natural! But I manage it by telling myself that no amount of worrying will change the outcome and I've even started enjoying being pregnant (apart from a few ailments lol!). Just try to be positive and have hope that this will work out for you 🥰
Thank you! I just keep trying to remind myself that the odds are in my favour now... it’s not like the fertility treatment where it feels like an uphill battle! I’m hoping I’ll feel calmer after seeing the midwife as I really want to enjoy it. My OH is on cloud nine and I would love to join her... I just can’t relax enough! x
Congratulations on your pregnancy.I felt the same when I was pregnant with my daughter Francesca who is now 6 months old. I became pregnant with her a year after a chemical pregnancy & after my third laparoscopy. It was such a struggle to conceive that I worried the whole way through my pregnancy & didn’t relax until she arrived safely.I also spotted between 6-14 weeks with her- I even lost fresh blood with clots at 10 weeks, they didn’t find a reason for the bleeding except it was nothing to do with the baby.
The fact you saw a healthy heartbeat at 10 weeks is very good - by 10 weeks baby has evolved from a embryo to a fetus & is much more stronger just as strong as 12 week old fetus the only difference is most women don’t have a scan until they are around 12 weeks.Lots of women spot in pregnancy but most go on to have a healthy baby.
I won’t say not to worry because I know it’s impossible not to but good luck for your scan on Thursday hope all goes well ( sure it will do) all the best with your pregnancy alxxx
Thank you so much! Makes me feel better to hear a similar early pregnancy story and you have a healthy baby! at the scan they said they couldn’t see why there had been bleeding and that the baby looked fine and all around it looked as it should... always just feels like a long time between checks doesn’t it? Thank you though... makes me feel better knowing he is as strong as a 12week old already...x
It’s really common after fertility treatment to feel anxious all the time. I know I did, especially as I’d had three previous miscarriages. There wasn’t a day that went by where I wasn’t worrying as to whether everything was ok in there with my baby. It’s such a shame because you think you’ll be blissfully happy and enjoy every step, warts and all so to speak, only to have the experience marred by anxiety. I had a severe migraine at about 16/17 weeks and projectile vomiting. I felt like I was going to die. The hospital told me to come in. It was 10:30pm. My first questions were is my baby ok? Have I done any harm to my baby? Luckily everything was ok. Unfortunately you probably won’t be able to relax and enjoy as such, but the more your pregnancy progresses the more assured you should feel xx
Thank you... I’m really hoping to feel better after seeing the midwife 🤞🏻 xx
I really empathise with this. Had the same situation on thursday and I'm only 5 weeks. Spent 11 hours in the hospital. The waiting and anxiety is awful. But you've got to this point, you'll carry on. All the anxiety will make the moment you meet your baby even more special xxx
It really is! So stressful! I’m trying to tick a day off at a time and just appreciate that it means one more day further along... we had a scare at 7 weeks and then just the other day so I feel like I’m being kept on my toes!! Thankfully both times the scans were fine and baby was the size he should be! Just keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏻 I wish you well with the rest of your pregnancy xx
Same to you. Keep going xxxxx
There was a girl I worked with who had a threatened miscarriage but went on to have 2 kids afterwards so more than likely you will be fine but it does play on your mind though when you have had a bad experience.
Best of luck with your pregnancy!
Thank you! I think I’m just a natural worrier and it hasn’t helped with that! I have had three scans so far though and thankfully all have been fine so I am just keeping my fingers crossed for my 12 week one 🤞🏻 x
Hi I am not going to lie, the worry will always always be there but it's the same for non IVF mums believe me, lots of friends who told me and I believe them. Some women however feel one thing but don't share their feelings so I wouldn't believe everything you see on the outside.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and try to enjoy it💕
Hello, you’re probably right and to be honest, apart from my OH and this forum no one else knows how worried I am, I don’t want family worrying about me so I have just been smiling and going along with the excitement. Hard not to weepy though... made it this far though so just trying to keep focused and tick each day off x
I think it's a combination. Some people are more anxious or relaxed by nature. Having difficulties can make someone more anxious. Also, most of us become more aware of certain problems during pregnancy, as we are informed more during ivf or we develop the skill to look for more details.
There are some points in time when anxiety can be higher (e.g. hcg results, scans, blood tests, getting past the date when a baby could be born and have good chances of survival, etc.) and these can vary from person to person. For me critical points where getting the harmony results (I have some issues and the harmony results came 1 - 2 weeks late), some scans (especially the one after a light bleeding), getting past the miscarriage risk (for a period of time I was looking daily at the risk calculator) and getting past the date the baby could have good chances of survival if born. A friend of mine tried ivf and it did not work, to then become pregnant naturally. She was far more nervous to get the first hcg result, harmony test (she asked me to read the result), etc.
There were some issues when my son was born (not knowing much about his condition made me more anxious) and with the formula we were feeding him, but I am now more relaxed.
I am sure there will come more moments I will be anxious (eg when he will have a more serious, but common health issue, like the flu, etc), but it is important not to get carried away and do the best I can.
So, try to relax as much as possible and find things of encouragement (e.g. previous scans where everything was well, as you progress during pregnancy you get closer to the birth of your baby, etc.).
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