Another failure πŸ’”

Hi everyone

It's our OTD today and it's another bfn. We're gutted and I just feel like a failure, I don't know what more I can do. I feel like my body is just letting us down at the final & crucial hurdle.

I'm worried & just have a gut feeling it's my endometriosis preventing it but I don't know what to do about that and I don't think I'll get any clear answers about it at the clinic as I never have before. Of course I don't know this for sure either, it's just something I've been worried about because everything else went so well and this little embie, like the previous two were really good quality blasto's and my lining was looking great.

Sorry for the doom & gloom on a Monday, just so daunted by what comes next. This process is so hard and we all deserve to be parents after what we have to go through.

Thank you all for your wishes, kind words & advice this cycle, I don't know what I would have done without this outlet xxx

41 Replies

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  • Sorry i have no words of wisdom but just wanted to say sorry about your bfn. Sending you hugs. Make sure you look after each other and treat yourself. X

  • Thank you Crazy_cat xx

  • Hey hun, I'm so sorry you got a bfn.. I did too ..I know how you feel . I know at the moment, it feels like your world has been shattered, but don't give up, be positive, you will be a mum . I have been researching and came across this. Does your clinic do these tests on your embryos?

    google.com/url?sa=t&source=...

    You will be a mum one day, keep faith ... Big hugs xxx

  • Thanks so much Hun, it sucks doesn't it. Hope you're ok? I'm a bit more positive today & we're not going to give up, just daunted by doing it all again.

    I'm not sure if they do but thanks for that info, I will enquire about it xx

  • I'm upset, but honestly got no more tears to cry. I need to be positive and look after my health, as should you. We will get there, it will just take a little of extra time . . .hang in there xx

  • You're right Hun, it'll be worth it when we do and we'll be all the more grateful won't we. Lots of love to you xx

  • I am really sorry to hear this Hun. I kno how much you wanted it to be a BFP. The reasons could be a number of factors so please don't beat yourself up about it. I know it is easier said than done but us IVF ladies are stronger than we think.

    I will suggest that you take some time out and do something nice for yourself to take your mind off what you have been through. Hopefully when you go for your follow up, you can find out more. In the meantime please be kind to yourself as you have been through a lot.

    Sending you lots of hugs. Xxx

  • Thanks sunny_skies, I have booked a flight to go and visit my sister next week which will do me good I think, then hubby and I are going away early October, it's important to have fun & be who you were before all this isn't it xx

  • Awww I am so sorry to hear this, bfn are rubbish!!

    Take care and look after yourself xxx

  • Thanks button, hope you're ok xx

  • Awww I'm so so sorry to hear this. I was rooting for you... please don't blame yourself... you did everything you could and unfortunately it just comes down to the crappy thing they call luck. 50/50 chance of an embryo sticking. I'm gutted for you... really really hope you're ok. Take time to let things settle and be kind to each other and don't beat yourself up. I know you will be a mummy one day... you'd be a lovely mum. Sending you lots of love xxxxx

  • Aw thank you Hun, feeling a bit better today & more determined. We will get there (πŸ™πŸ»)

    Hope you're having a lovely holiday xx

  • Sorry Hun πŸ˜” XXXX

  • I'm so sorry, it just isn't fair. You could ask about endo but the clinic will probably say they don't know why you got another BFN. For me the not knowing was very frustrating. Take lots of care.

  • That's what I suspect pm, there just isn't enough research gone into endo for them to know, it's just something I'm concerned about and like you say the not knowing is a head smasher. Hope you're doing ok xx

  • So sorry to hear your sad news georgina. There are no words anyone can say that will make you feel better. I know this from past experience. It makes it worse when you have no reason or symptoms to think it hasnt worked. Spoil yourself and treat yourself to something nice. Spend time with your hubbie to help you through this. Take care xx

  • Thanks Sam, hubby had the day off yesterday so we spent quality time together and today is our anniversary so we're going out for a nice dinner. Don't know what I'd do without him! Xx

  • Its so good to have your hubbie's support during this time. Its our anniversary sunday so another reason we are hoping for a good result on test day. We had to test last year a few days before our anniversary but we had a bfn then and at xmas. Hoping this time life gives us a break. Hope you both enjoy your dinner. Relax, enjoy and spoil yourselves. Take care xx

  • Everything crossed for you Sam πŸ™πŸ» xx

  • Thank you. Really appreciate that xx

  • Aw Georgina I'm so sorry. Wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Take some time out for a little while but don't give up. We have to stay strong. Lots of love x x x

  • Thanks mommabear, we're definitely not giving up although yesterday I considered it. It's so helpful to know all you ladies understand and we're not alone isn't it, we deserve medals for our strength! 😘 xx

  • Definitely deserve a medal! Glad to hear you're feeling a little more positive today, it's going to take time to recover but you'll get there. Take care of yourself, keep in touch as to what happens next x x x

  • Will do Hun, we're thinking of having the NK test, just not sure whether to try the next cycle first or not. We only have to wait one period this time but I'm also still undecided whether I want to get going straight away or have a break. I'll probably feel a bit clearer as the week goes on, just conscious of time ticking on 😳 Xx

  • Oh Georgina78 I'm so sorry. Never feel this is your fault. You did nothing wrong. If it was that easy then half the parents who have children they can't look after properly wouldn't be able to conceive.With their drinking and undesirable lifestyle choices.

    Have you looked into having immune tests done? I know a lot of medics don't recommend it but it might be worth looking into. For 5 years we were told its "unexplained". Last month I had my natural killer cells tested. Guess what it was above average. Why these experts do not recommend this type of testing I do not know. Could save couples a lot of heartache.

    Hope you feel better in time. Take care and be kind to yourselves. Wishing you the best with whatever decision you make X

  • Thanks Jess, I actually used to work with those type of people in child protection, don't know how I did it so long but I'm certainly glad I'm not doing it anymore!

    I have actually started considering those tests, did you have treatment as a result? Thanks for your advice, it's something Ive got a feeling about so I think it'd definitely be worth looking into xx

  • I'm probably the wrong person to ask! I haven't had any fertility treatment at all. Just been trying (unsuccessfully) for five years. Our last clinic were unhelpful (nicely put!). However due to gynae issues got re refered to another clinic to where gynae works and we have our first appointment with leading consultant there fingers crossed πŸ™. I decided to privately run some tests in the hope of 1) reducing our waiting times 2) trying to find the cause of our infertility. Nk is the only blood test that has flashed up not ok. I'm so glad that I decided to have the test done.

    Some Drs will say it's a waste of time but it's not. There is so much evidence that does support nk.If you've got unexplained infertilty, repeated miscarriages, or IVF failing despite good embryos then definitely get this ruled out.

    I'll be talking to our consultant on Thursday and I'll let you know what he says about regarding treatment for it. I will warn you sadly nk test isn't free it's around Β£300 mark.

    You can either have a biopsy or a blood test. I went for the blood test as uterus lining can vary from month to month.

    Wishing you the very best and I hope that you get answers which brings you closer to having your baby X

  • Thanks Jess, we talked about the NK test last night and I think we're definitely going to go for it. It'll just put our minds at rest or explain things. I just need to research where does it near us, I'm aware it's not cheap!

    I hope your appointment goes well and if you would let me know that'd be great xx

  • So very sorry to hear this. Sending you love 😞 Xx

  • Thank you Daisy-Mae 😘

  • Hi,

    So sorry about your news, we all struggle and have each other which is what we need X

    We will all get there one day and your miracle will come.

    Just a thought but have you had any tests done and also the uNK Cell test?

    Thinking of you.

    Kelly xx

  • Thanks so much kelly, it's definitely so helpful to know you love my ladies are out there and understand. How are you doing?

    We're definitely considering the NK test, I just want to rule it out or address it. Not sure where does it nearest to me (Manchester) but I will be doing some research, thanks for your advice & wishes xx

  • Sorry to read this πŸ˜“ This whole ivf thing is so hard to go through, especially when you don't get what we all want at the end of it. Big hugs xx

  • Thanks baby, it definitely is. Bit stronger today, it's one day at a time with this isn't it xx

  • So sorry to hear this Georgina. It's such a blow but you know that you have gotten through this before and you will eventually start to feel better. Sending you lots of love xx

  • Thanks Sarah xx

  • I'm sorry..it's so frustrating not knowing why?!!

    It might be worth looking at Prof Siobhan Quenby. She is at the Implantation Clinic at the Biomedical Research Unit in Reproductive Health, based at University Hospital Coventry and Warwick. They are also involved in the Tommy clinics that were launched earlier this year.

    The websites are looking a bit strange on my phone, but to give you a little bit of a steer:

    www2.warwick.ac.uk/fac/med/...

    www2.warwick.ac.uk/fac/med/...

    X

  • Thanks so much Hollibob, I have heard of her and we're thinking of going for the NK test just to put our minds at rest really xx

  • I'm really sorry to hear this Georgina. Best of luck with your next steps.

  • Thank you city74 xx

  • Hi there, I have had BFN too due to implantation. We are thinking about nk cells test too- but what is th treatment for it other than steroids and/or clexane? X